Why dudes hate being called a creep.
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Apone
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omg this is exactly wut i am talking about how dare you judge me screw u and ur right wing matriarchal society we r here to stay so get used to it
knight in battle
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You're right. Creep Syndrome doesn't just happen to guys who absolutely refuse to respect women. It happens to those who do wish to respect women but instead emit the vibe of insecurity.
I do associate with my friends who are sometimes considered creeps by others. I do not tend to condone their behaviors when they seem unhealthy, of course. But these are social outcasts. They are unhealthy, but not all of them are necessarily more unhealthy than the average person. They are not criminals; if they were, they would be arrested for harassment. If healthy individuals wish to pour insults on top of socially unhealthy individuals, then maybe these "healthy" people are really rather un-healthy and unaware of their own fortunate upbringing of love and security. Truly healthy individuals are also more capable of compassion (Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman).
I wouldn't create a movement. I think the war between the sexes is unhealthy and actually does not promote mutual respect or equal respect. A healthy psyche is what provides a male (or female) with emotional security, even if he is misunderstood; a healthy psyche will probably lessen the chances that he will emit uncomfortable relational vibes.
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Sorry, but I'm going to have to completely disagree with you. I would consider that sexual harrassment and pervy behaviour. The guy might be a creep as well, but creepy isn't the first word that would come to mind.
For me, creepy behaviour consists of someone who's just always kind of skulking around. A guy who maybe openly gawks/pervs/is obviously undressing you with his eyes, slight innapropriate or unwanted touching/contact, someone who is persistant in interest in an innapropriate manner despite being politely shot down. Some truly creepy guys you can just sense...there have been some guys I've met where my intuition has just told me. I've felt uneasy around them and wouldn't want to be caught on my own around the person.
I think some girls are just cruel and stuck up and don't really look at a guy. Some guys are just sweet and socially awkward and need to be treated as such....they'd probably be devastated if they knew how they were coming off to others. I very rarely use the word creep.
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You've achieved a new milestone, board. Cause for insomnia thoughts.
"Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? Up on a pedestal or down on your knees, it’s all a male fantasy: that you’re strong enough to take what they dish out, or else too weak to do anything about it. Even pretending you aren’t catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you’re unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur."
Atwood
"Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? Up on a pedestal or down on your knees, it’s all a male fantasy: that you’re strong enough to take what they dish out, or else too weak to do anything about it. Even pretending you aren’t catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you’re unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur."
Atwood
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I wasn't saying that it was not sexual harassment or 'pervy behavior'. I was saying that is how the word is applied to guys in some instances by some women. I was making an observation from my personal experience- I was not making a case for what does or does not constitute being creepy.
sassafras
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Oh, I don't know, it is entirely possible for an attractive guy to become a creep. Especially if he has a very inflated sense of self and refuses to believe a girl has turned him down. Or worse, when the girl is in a relationship and he makes a game of trying to win her away from her boyfriend (or girlfriend). This happened to my housemate in third year. She's gay and she had this otherwise nice-looking, friendly guy relentlessly obsessed with her. He had no lack of girls interested in him. He just wanted her and he wouldn't let up until she slept with him. And he told her so. That was definitely creepy and more than borderline stalkerish.
Anyway, personal anecdotes aside, I do agree with the definition that a creep is a guy who continues to pursue a girl after she has firmly told him she is not interested in him. That's the proper use of the term, I think.
As for men who are unfairly labelled creeps by the sole virtue that they have approached a woman who does not find them attractive, I suspect this is more a result of our culture than anything else.
It all boils down to a very raw and very base psychological fear that still exists in a lot of women today that a man can still take whatever he wants even when a woman says 'no.' Think about this for a second here. A girl goes out to a club, and the first thing she's told is that she should watch her drink; she's told that there's safety in numbers; that she should take a male friend along if she's going alone to a non-public place that is predominantly populated by men.
Meanwhile, she attends school or joins a company, and she's given a primer about sexual harassment and who she should contact if it happens to her. She turns on the news at night and or opens the paper the next morning and reads about rape, sexual assault, and the heated debate about women's reproductive rights. Women victimized, women abused, and a show of hands for what she should and shouldn't be allowed to do with her body after it happens. Furthermore, there is that horrific fact that some people out there still think its acceptable to argue that a woman got raped 'because she asked for it.'
But I'm not here to argue about feminist issues so much as point out that it's rather unsurprising to me that many women should react the way they do to an undesirable suitor. Their entire lives, women are taught to be wary of unfamiliar and unwelcome men. The word 'creep' itself suggests something predatory and insidious and done without a person's consent. The root of the term is not so much dismissive as much as it is the product of fear, and wanting the guy to understand, in no uncertain terms, that she's not interested in him.
Anyway, personal anecdotes aside, I do agree with the definition that a creep is a guy who continues to pursue a girl after she has firmly told him she is not interested in him. That's the proper use of the term, I think.
As for men who are unfairly labelled creeps by the sole virtue that they have approached a woman who does not find them attractive, I suspect this is more a result of our culture than anything else.
It all boils down to a very raw and very base psychological fear that still exists in a lot of women today that a man can still take whatever he wants even when a woman says 'no.' Think about this for a second here. A girl goes out to a club, and the first thing she's told is that she should watch her drink; she's told that there's safety in numbers; that she should take a male friend along if she's going alone to a non-public place that is predominantly populated by men.
Meanwhile, she attends school or joins a company, and she's given a primer about sexual harassment and who she should contact if it happens to her. She turns on the news at night and or opens the paper the next morning and reads about rape, sexual assault, and the heated debate about women's reproductive rights. Women victimized, women abused, and a show of hands for what she should and shouldn't be allowed to do with her body after it happens. Furthermore, there is that horrific fact that some people out there still think its acceptable to argue that a woman got raped 'because she asked for it.'
But I'm not here to argue about feminist issues so much as point out that it's rather unsurprising to me that many women should react the way they do to an undesirable suitor. Their entire lives, women are taught to be wary of unfamiliar and unwelcome men. The word 'creep' itself suggests something predatory and insidious and done without a person's consent. The root of the term is not so much dismissive as much as it is the product of fear, and wanting the guy to understand, in no uncertain terms, that she's not interested in him.
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acd
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A while back in college, there was this guy who would follow my friend around..
She would always tell me how horribly creepy he was. I guess while she stood outside waiting for her ride, he would stare at her and then slowly make his way to her in this weird zig zag way, as if he were moving like a chess piece to get near her.
She would tell me about all the creepy things he would say and do.
Then I picked her up from work some months later, and she ran out to my car and threw a newspaper at me and there he was, in the Times, for having attempted to kidnap a little girl while she walked home from her friends.
Luckily the girl kicked the hell out of his shins and got away. Here is his actual mugshot:
She would always tell me how horribly creepy he was. I guess while she stood outside waiting for her ride, he would stare at her and then slowly make his way to her in this weird zig zag way, as if he were moving like a chess piece to get near her.
She would tell me about all the creepy things he would say and do.
Then I picked her up from work some months later, and she ran out to my car and threw a newspaper at me and there he was, in the Times, for having attempted to kidnap a little girl while she walked home from her friends.
Luckily the girl kicked the hell out of his shins and got away. Here is his actual mugshot:
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A while back in college, there was this guy who would follow my friend around..
She would always tell me how horribly creepy he was. I guess while she stood outside waiting for her ride, he would stare at her and then slowly make his way to her in this weird zig zag way, as if he were moving like a chess piece to get near her.
She would tell me about all the creepy things he would say and do.
Then I picked her up from work some months later, and she ran out to my car and threw a newspaper at me and there he was, in the Times, for having attempted to kidnap a little girl while she walked home from her friends.
Luckily the girl kicked the hell out of his shins and got away. Here is his actual mugshot:
I wish creeps would shave so that normal people could grow beards without there being any confusion.
sassafras
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That's an interesting point.
I think there's a difference between assertiveness and aggression that arises out of desperation. The only way I can think to explain it is that assertiveness comes from a place of self-confidence wherein a man's attempts to woe and win over a woman aren't done to bolster up an already frail ego or fill up a hole inside him but rather to compliment him as a partner. In my experience, creepy men tend to be those who seem like they want to possess you rather than be with you.
Of course, a creep can also learn to feign assertiveness and cover up his possessive intentions, but that's usually why he succeeds where the creeps with the 'unpolished' approach fail.
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You have a point. My first reaction is that some women enjoy being "possessed" by men, yet would still find others creepy. I think that maybe creep has something to do with a danger threshhold that women are comfortable with. For you that may be being owned by a man but for others that doesnt seem like a dangerous prospect.
acd
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No. That's bullshit.
Only dipshits who can't see themselves as anything but objects want to be "won" or "possessed."
And they are creepy too.
Just normally talking to a person without being desperate or manipulate or domineering or aggressive is.... good.
So basically, if you are desperate, domineering, manipulative and/or aggressive about pursuing relationships.. then you are a creep.
Only dipshits who can't see themselves as anything but objects want to be "won" or "possessed."
And they are creepy too.
Just normally talking to a person without being desperate or manipulate or domineering or aggressive is.... good.
So basically, if you are desperate, domineering, manipulative and/or aggressive about pursuing relationships.. then you are a creep.
acd
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Yeah, you've seen.
You haven't been the recipient of those attentions.
But different people are creeped out by different things, I suppose.
Really whiney, desperate, aggressive guys with no social skills creep me out.
Also really suave manipulate charmers creep me out.
Maybe some people are creeped out by uglies.
I'm not. But some are.