Why is it always easier to see where you fall short than where you succeed?

[Gaze]

I edited what I said before I saw your post. When I said criticism, I meant the whole range of criticism, in the sense that even kids with the most loving, kind, positive parents experience rejection at some point. It's not always the kind of rejection that results in feelings of low self-worth or insecurity. I also don't believe that we ought to blame others for how we conduct ourselves as adults, although some experiences are obviously more difficult to recover from than others, but that I wouldn't be surprised if those early experiences are very much rooted in the tendency to pick apart the negative. I think a person can develop to a level at which they will enjoy the validation/approval without necessarily needing it; they might then constructively examine the negative as a means to improvement, but if this isn't rooted in needing validation in some way, then perhaps this kind of person will be equally able to recognize their successes and thus be in a different situation than the original question is referring to.

Yeah, i see what you mean.

 

[Nixie]

For me I would say it is cultural. Among Natives, teaching proper behavior is very social and engaged in by more than just your parents. Many times you are teased if you do wrong things. As young people, many times you are not corrected in a mean "I'll spank you, yell at you or be violent toward you way" but with humor. This has a bit of an embarrassing sting to it and you get the point. You learn to question yourself and look at how your actions affect others very early in life because social harmony is emphasized. Many tribes have "trickster" stories as well. These stories feature Coyote or Raven (or other character) and they are in essence, teaching stories. Generally the hero does something wrong, chaos erupts, and then does something right or faces some sort of consequence for their actions. Human beings don't learn from what they do right but what they do wrong.

 

[orangeappled]

Well, being INFP, I am extremely idealistic; my inner standard of perfection is just too high sometimes. Since my feeling is turned inward, I tend to judge myself more harshly than other people/things. In a sense, I turn my Ne towards them, and give the benefit of the doubt, and find many ways to find the flaws acceptable as long as they don't violate the main concept behind a value. However, my awareness of the flaws is still pretty high - just as logical inconsistency is glaringly clear to an INTP, so are ethical/value inconsistencies to me.

So, connecting this to the OP who is INTP.... Ti, like Fi, requires a consistency in its principles, only instead of idealistic, these are logical. A big difference is, Ti is much easier to verify in reality because it's judging less subjective matters, so INTPs may be even more adept at finding holes in external things. This awareness of flaws is a strength when it's used to refine a theory & find ways to improve things, but it can also result in an overly critical attitude towards yourself and/or others. For an INxP, taking in more info via Ne to broaden perspective will ease this attitude.