[INFJ] Will an INFJ get back to me ?

[JustPhil]

@Yn0t it’s very hard to see the true depths of all this from the little we can know about you at the moment. I’m so sorry you have to carry the burden of serious illness - I hope the medics are giving you good treatment and that you will recover well. Give yourself plenty of slack while you work thinks through - it’s a very testing time for you.

I guess you were thrown so off balance by the diagnosis that you were not thinking straight when you pushed your INFJ friend away so roughly. I’m afraid it won’t appear to him as simple as you express it here. For a start, the things you said to him must have hit the truth in some sense for him to react like that - they must have seemed like what you really think deep down about him but have concealed.

More seriously though to an INFJ who really loves you, what you have done is like a betrayal. You have basically said to him that you don’t want to share the intimacy of your struggle with cancer with him. You haven’t expressed this to him yet, but that’s what it feels like - that there is no place for him in your inner world when things are bad for you.

An INFJ guy will know instinctively whether these two messages are superficial and just your distress talking, or if there is something deep down that you really mean in them. It’s really rather hard to come back on this, and you need to be honest with yourself. Was this a distress reaction from you, or do you really not want to share things this intimate with him.

If you explain and apologise you might be able to recover your relationship if you really were just being silly under stress. You have a hill to climb to rebuild trust though - the fear that you might shut him out again in the really important things.

I'm not sure how this posted. I was going to write something but then decided not to, but maybe this is a push for me to actually finish.

I think the comment was more about John K's response. It seemed so complete and showed such compassion .. seeing it from YN0T's point of view but still trying to see how the other party might have felt hurt as the situation evolved.

Thanks John for being a member here ..

 

[justbeingMe]

I had relationship with an INFJ male. He is extremely sensitive, of course. We had great connection and we talk everyday. I understand him alot. I also know words affect him more than anything and he remember what I say forever. One day, I found out I have a type of cancer. That moment, I felt apart, I dont want to be his luggage or burden, I dont want he see me sick, so I talked really mean to him, to push him away, I thought if I be mean, he will forget me easier. He door-slam me, of course. Even if I am deeply in pain after that. I just go through things all alone, I think about him everyday and cry. But I also think it is good because he stress easily, I dont want him to go through this emotional battle with me. And until I saw our mutual friend, after hearing the story, she said he should know the truth, she will talk to him. I half want him to come back and so I can explain to him and apology, I half dont want him to feel bad or pity for me. I love him so much that I just want him to live his life total happily.
I have very tiny hope that he will talk to me again even if he know the truth, because I know he hold on to what I said and how it hurt him very deeply. Please give me advice.

Why would you do that to him, knowing how sensitive he is, pretty chicken shit thing to do .Sorry to hear about your cancer, Dont you realize he already knew something was wrong , and who better to have in your corner than one of us. you would want for nothing . and if its not fatal than I agree with the other's you were being selfish, inconsiderate and could not have truly loved him in the first place. Hope he never finds out, now he has double the stress and if you die will blame himself for not being there for you,Im sad for him just thinking about all the thoughts that he must be dealing with already , Like why you dumped him in the first place, that alone could take months.. Asshole move. just saying