Women: are you a domestic goddess?

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Women: are you a domestic goddess? Do you feel, if you are living with a partner, that it's still mostly your responsibility to maintain your place/home? Do you feel any guilt for not not being a traditional homemaker if that's not your thing? Do you feel that as a woman, you can add touches to your home that a man may may not?
 
I do consider myself a domestic goddess. I learned to cook since I was about age 9 and was taught to "keep" the house tidy and clean from a young age. Mainly due to cultural reasons of my upbringing; came from a culture that had traditional benchmarks for what it means to be a woman or growing into a woman of worth. Your worth was definitely molded and shaped by the household duties. The teachings also included learning to sew, interior design and gardening. I resented them at first but as i grew mature it helped me become more nurturing. Learning to nurture those under your roof by cooking, feeding, cleaning and maintaining is a choice for those women who wishes to be a matriarch or have good size families. it may not be for those who wishes to live more simplified and modern life of convenience. I do see it as a hallmark of being a provider and a matriarch. But most importantly; it's the nurturing and the home environment that gives the best memories of childhood and upbringing. As humans we will always go back to that point of origin within our micro families and our mothers and grandmothers who ran the kitchen and created an atmosphere of nurturance.

I once heard man equate the state of a woman's V to the state of her home. It may have some truths to it.LOL Nothing embarrassing than a woman who cannot keep her home clean or tidy.
 
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pics said:
Women: are you a domestic goddess? Do you feel, if you are living with a partner, that it's still mostly your responsibility to maintain your place/home? Do you feel any guilt for not not being a traditional homemaker if that's not your thing? Do you feel that as a woman, you can add touches to your home that a man may may not?
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Yes, and yes
 
Are you a domestic goddess? No.
Do you feel, if you are living with a partner, that it's still mostly your responsibility to maintain your place/home? Feel - strangely yes, think - no. I think that because me and my husband have full-time jobs outside our home we are both equally responsible of cleaning, cooking and other household chores. But if we have surprise guests I feel personally embarrassed if they see the mess.
Do you feel any guilt for not not being a traditional homemaker if that's not your thing? Yes and no. But right now in my life I'm more career-oriented so I don't stress about it. And my husband is not expecting me to be his nurturer. :)
Do you feel that as a woman, you can add touches to your home that a man may may not? Maybe at some level.
 
I'm not a domestic goddess so I guess that rules me out for homemaker of the year :D. Yeah, my mother managed her home well, but I was always more concerned with other things. Domestic responsibilities were not stressed for me as a young woman. I often feel guilty about this, but I think at one point I was turned off from making domestic duties a priority in my life because it seemed as if it was something that was expected and being used to define our worth as young woman, who would one day be future wives. In other words, your worth as a woman was defined by your domestic prowess. I think for a while I thought myself a failure because of it. I also somehow felt less womanly because of it, but realized that I didn't need it to define me. If I had a family, I am sure I would take on domestic roles with more interest because I would see it as my responsibility to ensure they are cared for and have a great home environment to live in and enjoy. However, it's not my reason for being. The domestic side of me is not a major aspect of who I am. I've been able to be nurturing, supportive, and generous in other ways. Yes, there would be touches to a home I think I would bring that maybe my partner wouldn't necessarily think about. When the time comes and I have that chance, I'll see. For now, the home is a place for me to relax, a space where I don't have to prove anything of my worth to anyone. If I have to think too much about whether someone is happy with my domestic skills, I'll probably feel a little overwhelmed focusing on how else I'm pleasing or not pleasing someone by not keeping house as well as they expect. I'm deathly afraid of not living up to some expectation of domestic perfection. So, I don't have those grand expectations of myself.
 
YES. I have been slovenly and disorganized as a depressed younger person, but now the guilt and o.c.d. overcome me. I would like more help, because I get overwhelmed & irritated that my time & effort is undervalued. In an ideal scenario everyone would just clean up after themselves and I bet men/women would get a lot more action in the sack. However, I am in a J vs. P relationship and he does not need order to relax.
 
pics said:
Women: are you a domestic goddess? Do you feel, if you are living with a partner, that it's still mostly your responsibility to maintain your place/home? Do you feel any guilt for not not being a traditional homemaker if that's not your thing? Do you feel that as a woman, you can add touches to your home that a man may may not?
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When living alone I am not a domestic goddess. I live with what I can tolerate in terms of "mess" but do find that I tidy up regularly and my place looks lived-in, but not like a crack den.

When living with someone else, I don't have the expectation that they will do the providing in terms of cooking and cleaning, but I do have the expectation of balance. I am not going to pick up after someone else or tolerate any level of slobbery. I do expect assistance within reason. That might look like splitting chores which for me, usually come down to who will be responsible for cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom. Dishes are a separate issue.

My boyfriend would be happy with 1 desk and a mattress on the floor and a flat pillow. He could not care less for any kind of home decor. Because those things are more important to me, I would not expect him to maintain them or even financially contribute to them.

I like to cook for him. I clean up the dishes. I buy the food and clear things away. He brings a calm balance into my life and I like to provide for him by treating him to high quality meals and taking some of that off of his plate. I want him to feel he can come be at peace in my home and that what I am doing is something I do because I love him and I don't want him to have to deal with it. I only care that he puts his dishes in the sink.

I would say overall I am about 50/50 on the traditional female role thing in the sense that I do not feel the expectation to fill it, but I enjoy it and so I do it.
 
HELL TO THE MOTHA FUCKIN NO.

It's 50/50 in our house. Sometimes he cooks, sometimes I cook. Sometimes he cleans, sometimes I clean. But all in all, I think we enjoy cooking and cleaning together. It gives us a moment to talk about the day or just talk about things going on as we keep our home clean together. I personally enjoy it this way cause then I don't feel like I have too much responsibility on my shoulders and he doesn't either. We keep it equal.

The only thing he doesn't like is doing laundry but I love it so I don't mind having that as a responsibility. I hate to wash dishes or do them but he likes it, so that's his thing.

I grew up in a house where my mom cooked all the time and I cleaned. So that's was my role and I feel like it's stifling cause now I actually hate doing the duties I'm responsible for. So I feel like sharing a mix of duties is important.

We've even made romantic dinners together and I enjoy that too cause it really brings us togethers.
 
Personally, I don't see cooking or cleaning as a "female" thing; if you can do both, you're self-sufficient in my book.
 
I do what I want because I feel like it. Some times serving others so happens to be what I want. It's like with watering my plants or taking care of my cat - it's what I want to do and I'd rather I do it than somebody else. I can actually get bothered if somebody takes a job I've claimed as my own.
 
Domestic goddess. I am not sure what this means.
Do I cook and clean - yes. Am I the only one who does this or do I excel to goddess level at either one - No.

I have to say that my home must be clean and comforting enough to feel like it is mine. In no way do I spend hours of my time making it perfect. I feel that hours of effort in that area would be a waste of my talents and a bit boring.
 
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