Would you date a bodybuilder?

uberrogo said:
Is he the kind of body builder that makes money off of winning contests for how defined he is? Does he lift in competitions? Or does he just look at himself in a mirror due to the boredom of down time in summer?
Click to expand...

As far as I know there is no competition date this summer. Its just for himself I guess.
 
A body builder eh? I think I'd have some degree of ambivalence with regards to dating someone who is seriously committed to that lifestyle. On the one hand, the degree of self-discipline necessary to adhere to that is something I would respect. On the other, I'd be concerned that their ambition could (but not necessarily) be encumbered by motivations related to vanity and/or insecurity, which I find unappealing, to say the least.
 
You need to talk this issue out with him. I agree that his behavior is a bit extreme, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's a emotional problem. We all have hobbies and some people can get really into theirs because it gives them joy. Would you refuse to date a world chess champion or an Olympic athlete? Some people collect stamps because it makes them happy. How collecting stamps makes one happy is hard to explain of course, but it does nontheless.

As far as I'm aware, when it comes to bodybuilding there is a point where the law of diminishing returns comes into effect and different, unusual methods are required to make any further progress. I think that challege can be really appealing to some people. I do agree with your concern though, it very well could be an indicator of something akin to an emotional obsession and I think you should have a serious discussion with him regarding his and your feelings and ask him how he feels towards you and what he wants from the relationship.

I think when it comes to hobbies that require a significant challenge to them we can easily mistake that drive for something emotionally misplaced, which it can be, but doesn't necessarily have to be. If he simply finds joy in accomplishing a difficult task, then you need to decide for yourself if you are willing to accommodate that aspect of his life into your life or not and be forthright with him. It's quite alright to decide that you simply want someone of a different sort of prioritization in their life and that you don't feel you will connect the way you might want.
 
I have my own prejudices about body builders, but if he's a teacher maybe he spends time working out his brain as well? Is he a phys ed. teacher?? Anyway, I would not be able to deal with the steroids. Does he have rage issues as a side effect? Have you talked about why being this size is so critical to him that he goes to such extreme? Is he afraid of being portly? Did he get bullied as a child? Just wondering what's behind the obsession... what is he afraid will happen if he loosens up on his regime?
 
  • Like
Reactions: the
I dated a fitness nut for a bit. Nothing unhealthy as far as I know, but she was disciplined as fuck. Tiny meals, worked out twice a day four days a week and did something everyday. Tough as a punching bag, too. Left some solid bruises.

We weren't good for anything more than a couple of months, of course. She couldn't help but nag and I couldn't help but ignore her nagging.
 
CindyLou said:
I met a guy and he's been bodybuilding for 20 years. I don't know about it. I know a lot of people who attempted a fitness lifestyle, but not for 20 years. 20 years being that focused on yourself and your appearance seems so obnoxious. He seems fine otherwise, but if he makes a comment on my body not being perfect he's gone.

Just curious if any of you would even bother to try? I'm very routine so I tend to attract the fitness freaks. I've never dated one that had been into it for so long though. I figure most people grow out of that stuff. Idk. Can't sleep tonight.
Click to expand...

Many men enjoy having a hobby: a non-necessary, non-obligatory area they try to develop expertise in. Moreover, many men don't like explaining their hobbies to non-enthusiasts.

If body building is his hobby, and you don't show interest in the principles behind body-building, I'm guessing you will never really hear about it. It could have been mechanical engineering, stamp-collecting, or anything else. (If it is a hobby).
 
Dude, my ENFJ roommate is a hard-core body building/fitness enthusiast and he talks about it non-stop to anyone who will listen... and also sports! I don't give a funk about either!? Read a book!
 
LOL Read a Book! But seriously, it does make one unbalanced to focus on one aspect of your being.

I would think that perhaps you should just lay off the dating scene for awhile [MENTION=4871]CindyLou[/MENTION] You've had a couple of threads where you express angst about the whole situation. Just because a man asks you out doesnt' mean you have to say YES. I think you need some time to do some self evaluation and get into a good space.
 
a guy who works out and takes care of his body, no problem, but i'll pass on the bodybuilder and not only because i think that much muscle looks ridiculous.
a guy who body builds has no time for a relationship. unless of course that person also bodybuilds, then they're just spotters for each other as far as i'm concerned.
 
I think it is fair to say that you just dont like him and havent come to terms with that yet.
 
I'm currently in relationship limbo with one. I admire it - it shows dedication and determination to get good results. Bodybuilding requires much dedication. That's a rare quality to find these days.
 
So did you dump him? @OP
 
No, not yet but we are not "serious" yet or anything. I found out about a sexual past I was uncomfortable with too.
 
  • Like
Reactions: the
What are his good points?
 
It's funny that bodybuilders are just about as misunderstood as introverts. Bodybuilding is an art and there is tremendous passion involved in it. Most serious bodybuilders are like Michaelangelo, trying to sculpt their David out of the rock(body) they have been given. A lot of bodybuilders might have started out as insecure but with some time (Usually not long) they get so much female attention that it stops being about insecurity but just passion. Some of them are hobbyists but they usually do not believe that, you cannot tell an artist to stop trying because he is not as genetically gifted. That said, they do love their body for it's their masterpiece, if that makes them vain then every artist in the world that is proud of their work is vain.

Also they read lots and lots of books, their thirst for knowledge is greater then many pseudo intellectuals i met.
Young men that haven't worked out their flaws come in all forms, unfortunately bodybuilding attracts the douche-bag/bro type often. Hence the bad reputation.
You should ask the same question on bodybuilding forums if you want to know more, as I am sure they can explain a lot better then I can.

This is my opinion from talking to some, and having friendships with a few. I admire their chosen passion. I met shit people that happened to be bodybuilders and also great ones.
 
How does getting all that female attention make it "stop" being about insecurity and more about passion? I mean, if you have to have attention from an outside source to stop being insecure...aren't you really still insecure? What happens when you get old? Will you freak out when the women stop giving you attention? Sounds like a recipe for a mid-life crisis of some sort. I don't know.
 
Oh...I was hoping you meant like Dr Frankenstein.
 
I can only guess that once they get a ton of pussy they stop putting women on a pedestal, and hence stop giving a shit. Thus getting more pussy in return. Bodybuilding becomes more of a competition and or hobby at this point.

Mid life crisis perhaps, but no more then a successful athlete, Olympian or anybody that looks great and slowly starts to lose it. I don't see the crisis as such a negative thing, I am pretty sure I will have a mid life crisis. It will just be a restructuring of what is possible for me. I might be very sad because my greatest instrument is getting limited in learning speed, adventuring ferocity, sport dreams, weightlifting weight, etcetera.

And let's not forget that generally for older men it is a buyer's market ;) For women not so much, you enjoyed that in your 20's.



CindyLou said:
How does getting all that female attention make it "stop" being about insecurity and more about passion? I mean, if you have to have attention from an outside source to stop being insecure...aren't you really still insecure? What happens when you get old? Will you freak out when the women stop giving you attention? Sounds like a recipe for a mid-life crisis of some sort. I don't know.
Click to expand...
 
Tujev said:
I can only guess that once they get a ton of pussy they stop putting women on a pedestal, and hence stop giving a shit. Thus getting more pussy in return. Bodybuilding becomes more of a competition and or hobby at this point.

Mid life crisis perhaps, but no more then a successful athlete, Olympian or anybody that looks great and slowly starts to lose it. I don't see the crisis as such a negative thing, I am pretty sure I will have a mid life crisis. It will just be a restructuring of what is possible for me. I might be very sad because my greatest instrument is getting limited in learning speed, adventuring ferocity, sport dreams, weightlifting weight, etcetera.

And let's not forget that generally for older men it is a buyer's market ;) For women not so much, you enjoyed that in your 20's.
Click to expand...

Reading that I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach...I thought you were HIM by that post until you said you hadn't had a mid-life crisis yet. The use of the word pussy so many times. Ahhh...so much to miss.

Older men buyer's market is kinda a myth. That's sorta true for divorced men, but otherwise..myth. Don't kid yourself. Lol.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top