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I'm a big fan of optical illusions myself
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1f. I don't want to thrive. I want to survive.
1e. I have come to realize that to thrive in this generation is to lack empathy.
1d. In a classroom setting especially, when you're just trying your best. I don't understand professors these days. Where is the empathy?
1c. Being put on the spot or made to feel stupid for no reason. The uncomfortable air around what just happened, and the embarrassment.
1b.I think what bothers me most about situations like this is the unfairness of it all.
1a. How do you deal with being belittled by your superiors (bosses, professors, etc)? I've just spent an hour sobbing due to this.
I am ashamed of my insistence on love. "I want to be a horrifying woman"- Belladonna of Sadness (1973).
I rose from bed to write here. I should be sleeping, exam tomorrow. I'm in college. It sucks.
I think about my pain over and over again like a guilty pleasure. I relive it and punish myself. I know I should instead show mercy.
It is 11:11pm and this is a coincidence. The snow has turned to rain and I cannot fall asleep.
8. Last patient of the day coming soon. I think about eating again. Which of the 7 sins are you? I don't know if I could pick just one.
7. People talking, laughing. I imagine hitting the wall hard mid-conversation. They go silent, I try not to laugh. LIke they'd hear me.
6. I press my ear against the wall to listen to the office next door.
5. I don't know why I look through things. I don't mean any harm. Curiosity lives in this cat. I won't be killed.
4. Found an old notebook. Fluffy handwriting. Last page: "Doormen sell naked women 0.25c. Good pickles and white wine". Scribbly hearts.
3. I am bored. I rummage through my boss's messy drawers. Pink paper glitter straws, expired cola bottles, gas relieving pills.