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- Thread starter Misadventure
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Sorry Misadventure. And I can't support the use of this word. I'm black and from the Caribbean, and we have a long history of slavery just like the US. We grew up aware of this word but it wasn't something you heard used often. When I came to the US, it was a culture shock to know the word was still used socially because most of our experience of the word was watching historical films from the US depicting slavery. Yes, I understand the need to reclaim negative words especially by younger generations, but there is a huge problem with that. I am in education and topics of fairness and justification are always a factor. I've heard the word used to explain significance or usage, but then someone hears it and becomes offended, understandably.
Regardless of the intent of the user, because it made someone uncomfortable (and nothing is wrong with feeling uncomfortable with this word), it is a not an appropriate word to use in most social situations. You can't simply consider your own intent. Just like anything in language, the meaning or experience of this word to someone else's ears and mind and how it affects others is just as important. Educators have lost their job not because they used this word offensively, but because they said to explain a point about how the word is used, but students (who should know better though) read it as negative and offensive. In a classroom, especially in higher ed, open discussions about how language is used are permitted to take place, but sometimes, a word just too much history for someone to use (even innocently) and not be affected by it. Using the word can also appear as a way to mock those who would not be permitted to use it.
In instruction, you can't say, "Yes, it is ok for African Americans to use this word but not someone who is white." So, the word is off the table, at least in that setting. If people want to use the word among their friends, family, privately, that's their business. But in social or public situations, it's different. As long as it's such a divisive term, you can't simply say, "forget you! if you don't think I should use this term." It comes across as inconsiderate and taunting to others who have been subject to it's use as a racially divisive term.
I've never felt the real need or desire to use this term. It has no positive connotations to me. I'll just call you a friend than use this word. It's not naive to think the only important consideration in using this word is how we personally feel about it without considering how others are affected by it. The word is no longer necessary. Slavery still exists, but we are not living in the slavery of the past. It serves no purpose. It's no more authentic a way to describe friendship, sisterhood, or brotherhood with someone as "friend, bro, girl, sista, bff, bud". The word isn't necessary. Being cool about it shouldn't be something I have to be to prove that I get that it's re-appropriated. Noooo. I have no personal connection to the word, and would never reclaim it. Too many of our ancestors have been killed, maimed, and persecuted with this word for this to be a fun word to use casually. No, just no. Sorry. Can't support it.
Regardless of the intent of the user, because it made someone uncomfortable (and nothing is wrong with feeling uncomfortable with this word), it is a not an appropriate word to use in most social situations. You can't simply consider your own intent. Just like anything in language, the meaning or experience of this word to someone else's ears and mind and how it affects others is just as important. Educators have lost their job not because they used this word offensively, but because they said to explain a point about how the word is used, but students (who should know better though) read it as negative and offensive. In a classroom, especially in higher ed, open discussions about how language is used are permitted to take place, but sometimes, a word just too much history for someone to use (even innocently) and not be affected by it. Using the word can also appear as a way to mock those who would not be permitted to use it.
In instruction, you can't say, "Yes, it is ok for African Americans to use this word but not someone who is white." So, the word is off the table, at least in that setting. If people want to use the word among their friends, family, privately, that's their business. But in social or public situations, it's different. As long as it's such a divisive term, you can't simply say, "forget you! if you don't think I should use this term." It comes across as inconsiderate and taunting to others who have been subject to it's use as a racially divisive term.
I've never felt the real need or desire to use this term. It has no positive connotations to me. I'll just call you a friend than use this word. It's not naive to think the only important consideration in using this word is how we personally feel about it without considering how others are affected by it. The word is no longer necessary. Slavery still exists, but we are not living in the slavery of the past. It serves no purpose. It's no more authentic a way to describe friendship, sisterhood, or brotherhood with someone as "friend, bro, girl, sista, bff, bud". The word isn't necessary. Being cool about it shouldn't be something I have to be to prove that I get that it's re-appropriated. Noooo. I have no personal connection to the word, and would never reclaim it. Too many of our ancestors have been killed, maimed, and persecuted with this word for this to be a fun word to use casually. No, just no. Sorry. Can't support it.
Misadventure
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Thank you all for your thoughtful responses and for keeping the peace on this extremely sensitive subject. I do apologize for even bringing this subject up as I know the consequences that have come with it. The thread's purpose was to inform in the reasons why younger generations are using these terms so much more casually without the negativity from the past connected to them. and to talk about the reasons why we don't or do use these terms within our private circles. Again, my apologies if this has offended anyone. I just wished to have an open discussion in a safe place regarding this. Thank you all. <3
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