Lord Xephere
Newbie
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 9w1
I've been obsessed over the MBTI for a few years now and after learning about the cognitive functions, I have a much better understanding of them than I did when I first started. Over the years I've mistyped as INTP, INTJ, and INFP. I decided to type myself as INFJ for the time being because I can relate to Fe. I also thought I was an intuitive because I've always spent most of my time in my head daydreaming. However, after trying to observe my behavior in everyday situations, I have no idea what cognitive functions I'm using. It seems like I'm using all of them but extremely poorly.
Sometimes I have serious doubts about being INFJ when I think about how I've acted and things I've said throughout my life. For example, when I was very little, I was very observant of the world and would absorb facts about things I was interested in like radio stations, (I knew pretty much all of them). I remember being told by my parents that I was very good at anything involving memory and how I would see something I liked on television and act it out again, perfectly recreating it. I don't see much of this in myself now, but that makes me wonder if I'm really an Si user instead of Ni. However, at the same time, throughout my childhood I was very creative and imaginative, and was very big on playing make believe. I wrote articles, made up stories, and went on adventures with my brother and my stuffed animals (before he was born). Is this Ni or Ne? I also remember watching old home videos of myself and I use to do and say very random abstract things that made no sense, (is this dom-Ni in childhood). But then again my parents always tell me to this day, how I'm good at remembering names, dates, and past experiences. I have done this accurately a few times, but not very often. Again, I wonder if this is Si.
I also noticed that I get hunches about things that always end up being right, but I almost always second guess them at first. However, I'm wondering if this is because of my low self confidence and fear of making mistakes that is leading me to not trust myself. I think that when I was a kid, I probably went with these, because I was more free and uninhibited.
I also think of myself as being very immature and I have the feeling that I come off as dimwitted, and simple minded to people. I feel as though I've gotten the reputation of saying and doing stupid things. For example, recently I had a discussion about whether or not there is such thing as love at first sight. I know that real romantic love is a very poetic, deep and intense caring for another person where you want to be together forever and you care about them to the point that you would die for them. I said that I did believe in love at first sight and it isn't just physical attraction, but when you have a conversation with that person and you feel that you resonate with them and you know that they are right for you. The other person disagreed and told me that this would just be a simple friendship, which of course not love. I don't know why I thought this, especially being as old as I am, but it made me wonder if I'm truly an INFJ. If I were, I would have never have even thought this. Everything is deep for INFJs and I felt that this reminded me of how superficial I am in comparison.
There have been many times also where my parents have had to get after me to do things that I should have been self motivated to do like homework, driving and applying to college. At 26 years old this still continues to this day. I'm severely struggling with my self confidence, so as a result I only expect to screw things up for myself. As a result I have a horrible anxiety about going out into the world on my own, so now I still live with my mother, and I don't even have a drivers license. I am currently in college full time, but I'm extremely nervous when it comes to getting a job. I've done freelance writing gigs but they don't really pay much, but I fear working for someone else because I severely lack practical common sense and I know I would be fired in an instant because of some idiotic mistake that I made. For this reason I've put this off, and have been sort of living off of my student loans and grants. Again, I feel that if I were actually an INFJ, I would have just said, screw it, I need to get off my ass and support my family and I would have just gone out and done it. I seem to be interested more in avoiding things that make me feel insecure and incompetent and that's gotten me in even more trouble than anything else, but I don't know how to stop this behavior.
Am I really an INFJ or have I managed to mistype myself? To be honest, my self esteem issues don't help me much with finding my type. It's made me look at myself as inferior in relation to everyone else, so I'm constantly trying to imagine myself as a different person and the MBTI has just given me another opportunity to do that. When I read the stereotypical descriptions of INFJs, I think to myself "I wish I were like that, it sounds so cool". But instead I just see myself as too passive, shallow, simple, and wishy-washy. For this reason, I feel that people see me as worthless and insignificant. If I knew for sure that I was INFJ, I would feel my existence would be a bit more meaningful, knowing that I have the potential to be so much more. It's almost like it would strangely give me a major boost to my self-confidence.
Sorry about my long rambling, but I would really appreciate some help with this issue. Thanks!
Sometimes I have serious doubts about being INFJ when I think about how I've acted and things I've said throughout my life. For example, when I was very little, I was very observant of the world and would absorb facts about things I was interested in like radio stations, (I knew pretty much all of them). I remember being told by my parents that I was very good at anything involving memory and how I would see something I liked on television and act it out again, perfectly recreating it. I don't see much of this in myself now, but that makes me wonder if I'm really an Si user instead of Ni. However, at the same time, throughout my childhood I was very creative and imaginative, and was very big on playing make believe. I wrote articles, made up stories, and went on adventures with my brother and my stuffed animals (before he was born). Is this Ni or Ne? I also remember watching old home videos of myself and I use to do and say very random abstract things that made no sense, (is this dom-Ni in childhood). But then again my parents always tell me to this day, how I'm good at remembering names, dates, and past experiences. I have done this accurately a few times, but not very often. Again, I wonder if this is Si.
I also noticed that I get hunches about things that always end up being right, but I almost always second guess them at first. However, I'm wondering if this is because of my low self confidence and fear of making mistakes that is leading me to not trust myself. I think that when I was a kid, I probably went with these, because I was more free and uninhibited.
I also think of myself as being very immature and I have the feeling that I come off as dimwitted, and simple minded to people. I feel as though I've gotten the reputation of saying and doing stupid things. For example, recently I had a discussion about whether or not there is such thing as love at first sight. I know that real romantic love is a very poetic, deep and intense caring for another person where you want to be together forever and you care about them to the point that you would die for them. I said that I did believe in love at first sight and it isn't just physical attraction, but when you have a conversation with that person and you feel that you resonate with them and you know that they are right for you. The other person disagreed and told me that this would just be a simple friendship, which of course not love. I don't know why I thought this, especially being as old as I am, but it made me wonder if I'm truly an INFJ. If I were, I would have never have even thought this. Everything is deep for INFJs and I felt that this reminded me of how superficial I am in comparison.
There have been many times also where my parents have had to get after me to do things that I should have been self motivated to do like homework, driving and applying to college. At 26 years old this still continues to this day. I'm severely struggling with my self confidence, so as a result I only expect to screw things up for myself. As a result I have a horrible anxiety about going out into the world on my own, so now I still live with my mother, and I don't even have a drivers license. I am currently in college full time, but I'm extremely nervous when it comes to getting a job. I've done freelance writing gigs but they don't really pay much, but I fear working for someone else because I severely lack practical common sense and I know I would be fired in an instant because of some idiotic mistake that I made. For this reason I've put this off, and have been sort of living off of my student loans and grants. Again, I feel that if I were actually an INFJ, I would have just said, screw it, I need to get off my ass and support my family and I would have just gone out and done it. I seem to be interested more in avoiding things that make me feel insecure and incompetent and that's gotten me in even more trouble than anything else, but I don't know how to stop this behavior.
Am I really an INFJ or have I managed to mistype myself? To be honest, my self esteem issues don't help me much with finding my type. It's made me look at myself as inferior in relation to everyone else, so I'm constantly trying to imagine myself as a different person and the MBTI has just given me another opportunity to do that. When I read the stereotypical descriptions of INFJs, I think to myself "I wish I were like that, it sounds so cool". But instead I just see myself as too passive, shallow, simple, and wishy-washy. For this reason, I feel that people see me as worthless and insignificant. If I knew for sure that I was INFJ, I would feel my existence would be a bit more meaningful, knowing that I have the potential to be so much more. It's almost like it would strangely give me a major boost to my self-confidence.
Sorry about my long rambling, but I would really appreciate some help with this issue. Thanks!
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