And that's one key as well - did he really return, or is he still dreaming? Is his brain mush, like the movie mentioned? I don't think the architect could account for the totem, though. They don't change small things, just big, maze-y things. At least, that was more my observation.
And I totally agree with you on his kids. They were *exactly* the same, right down to turning around to see him. Unless he was psychic, those kids were wearing the EXACT SAME CLOTHES. Same hair, clothes, demeanor...rings all sorts of fishy alarms. The theme running as a current in the movie was definitely about him coming to terms with Mal's death, but that was complete near the climax. So it makes me wonder if that was the ultimate goal of the movie, or not. That's one reason why the ending seemed cheesy, because it happened so fast. But to me, that's an extremely "dreamlike" experience, and not real. There's room for a sequel, if you ask me. Maybe we'll get that question answered.