Are most men cheaters? And experiment

La Sagna said:
I don't know how others feel about this but there is a big difference between somebody making a wrong choice because of human weakness and somebody deliberately trying to create a situation that cannot lead to any good simply to prove a point.

I can forgive human weakness easier than maliciousness.
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YES absolutement!

Intent is key
 
Wow, what a fun thread. I can definitely see what [MENTION=1871]muir[/MENTION] is saying though about "lets get some reaction" might be the thrust (get it!) of this kind of obnoxious troll thread. Gee that didn't even hurt to agree with [MENTION=1871]muir[/MENTION] either.

If not a total troll thread, I agree with [MENTION=1360]TheDaringHatTrick[/MENTION] that the OP is trying to make her personal self esteem issues seem like some kind of educational/informational thing. I would think that jealousy and issues with women at the heart of such behavior...maybe she competed with mommy or is competing with a daughter/age and trying to maintain her sense of attractiveness. I would guess she may be one of those women who can only find value in themselves when it is attached to whomever is occupying their vagina.
 
I love to react.
 
Cornerstone said:
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Lol

''My wife always said....that flirting is one thing, but placebo fucking is way out of line.....i think she has a point'' (from the episode titled: ''murder by email'')
 
Nixie said:
Wow, what a fun thread. I can definitely see what @muir is saying though about "lets get some reaction" might be the thrust (get it!) of this kind of obnoxious troll thread. Gee that didn't even hurt to agree with @muir either.
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Yay!

She certainly...aroused a lot of interest...boom boom!

Nixie said:
If not a total troll thread, I agree with @TheDaringHatTrick that the OP is trying to make her personal self esteem issues seem like some kind of educational/informational thing. I would think that jealousy and issues with women at the heart of such behavior...maybe she competed with mommy or is competing with a daughter/age and trying to maintain her sense of attractiveness. I would guess she may be one of those women who can only find value in themselves when it is attached to whomever is occupying their vagina.
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Vagina occupation.....sounds like a new gender-based protest movement...
 
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Being a man, my impulse would be to say that it's a biased sample. And trying to tempt them into it is almost as bad as actually doing it.
 
Artemisia said:
Really. I have been conducting an experiment recently. I have been sending loving/flirtatious notes and emails to some of my male friends who have girlfriends. Most of them claim they are in love with their girlfriends. You would be surprised to see how easy it is for them to cheat with another woman if the other woman shows interest in them. 3 out of the 6 live abroad and all three indicated they'd like to come and see me at some point (while being flirtatious themselves). The ones who are here where I live are also responding ecstatically to my giving nature. So while my sample size is small at the moment, that's 6/6 hits so far = 100%.

Remember, all of these guys are professionals (most with MAs or PhDs) and have girlfriends; most of them claim they are in love with them. Yet, if the opportunity of sex with me arose, they'd think nothing of cheating. I could be any woman, not saying that it's because they find me especially hot. They are responding to my supposed interest in them! I'm sick to my stomach. Are most (not all) men THIS selfish?
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Ok, first I'd like to apologize for those who were insulting to you on your comment. I see that as a shameful attitude. People should not suddenly respond like that.

However, it is true that those who have argued against you have put up very valid points. The most important I think is the part of thinking and doing. Just imagining something can be fun and carefree; without most danger. Thinking about cheating conceivably can range from a possible warning sign to an exciting fantasy. In the case of a possible warning sign, this would warrant closer attention from the significant other, however not warrant any type of serious response :m083:. In the case of the exciting fantasy, well lets just say some people can be creative :m187:.
When it comes to the actual action, then it is a serious offense, and shame on those who commit such a transgression :m041:.
Based on what you have gathered so far, I see no reasonable evidence for you to condemn those men for their responses. As was mentioned before, there are many biases. If anything else can be said, it is that everyone has fantasies. Perhaps that's what these guys were doing. It would be reasonable for us to say (based on available evidence) that if offered the actual chance (you actually were to meet them at a hotel or something) then they might actually refuse your offer when the reality of the situation hits them. On the internet, the reality of what we are saying does not always set in. In this case, we should in the least offer these men the benefit of the doubt. Infidelity is a serious claim.
 
Artemisia said:
Really. I have been conducting an experiment recently. I have been sending loving/flirtatious notes and emails to some of my male friends who have girlfriends.

They are responding to my supposed interest in them! I'm sick to my stomach.
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I would be sick to my stomach too if I was conducting an experiment with people's hearts.
 
La femme fatale...

Note: I hope thisis french. If not here is some Romanian:

Femeia fatala!
 
intellectual my ass. lets talk about the legitimate viability of your little "experiment", like control factors and ethics? you go on to make these entirely contextual generalisations, you dont reveal any details about how you approached them, in what ways it might or might not have been systematic, and their responses. your experiment is totally bunk. its nothing more than a biased story.

ive been the confidante of enough women to know that what youre proposing is not an exclusively male phenomenon. women cheat on their partners who they love all the time, and regret it, and dont confess to their partners because they love them so much and want to stay in the relationship. ive heard this exact same story from multiple women. so as far as the validity of storytelling and the legitimacy of your study goes, there you are, youre screwed.

i cant believe you treat you friends this way, its shocking. you manipulated them, played them false, and toyed with their feelings, in the service of validating your own little agenda. why dont you just go into their houses and steal from them? youre basically stealing things from their mind, their trust of you. i dont know whether its worse that you actually did it, or that you respect them so little that you dont think it matters whether you did it or not. you appear to have no integrated internal moral values, they are just shifting around, you hold other people to standards of being true to which you dont hold yourself. ive had so many friends in my life like you, treacherous people who didnt give a shit that they were playing me false, and im so happy i got rid of them all. no one needs "friends" like you! yuck!!!!!!
 
LOL. then you come on here and post about it and expect people to take you seriously, like youve conducted some great social experiment, and get surprised when they judge you for behaving so shamefully. what a laugh.
 
experiment? You might want to look up the definition of experiment, including best practices, control procedures, environmental variables, normality and standard deviations, etc.

This is, at best, unethical entrapment of a few with gross generalizations to a larger scope.
 
Artemisia said:
I did say above that I do not know the females in their lives. I don't particularly care about them and nor am I looking to hurt them specifically.
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In so very few posts it is so evident that there is something very out of place in your thinking.

I am guessing that if I knew you in real life I would feign interest in you, lest you become self-destructively crazy.

Your male friends probably know you well enough to say enough to keep you happy, but are not willing to say so much as to be in a relationship with you.

YOU ARE STILL IN CONTACT WITH SIX OF YOUR OLD ROMANCES - CLAIMING THEY ARE YOUR FRIENDS. That is crazy-person behaviour.
 
yes i agree with [MENTION=7838]SpecialEdition[/MENTION]…. saying and doing are two different things altogether…

what exactly does this experiment prove? that most men are cheaters? probably… so what…. just because you are in a committed relationship doesn’t mean anything… nothing in life is guaranteed… anyone who thinks their significant other would NEVER cheat on them is living in a daydream… people change… relationships change…
 
I don't condone the unethical way in which you've decided to test your hypothesis, but I think it'd do some good to inject some actual science into this discussion. If you're interested, research mating strategies and error management theory (interesting study cited below!). However, disagreeing with your methods doesn't have to mean disagreeing with your conclusion. That's not to say I believe all men cheat. Though anecdotally, I've experienced the same (albeit unsolicited) sexual-overperception bias in male friends/acquaintances in supposedly committed relationships; it tends to turn my stomach as well. How much of our mating strategies (male and female) are free-will and how much can be attributed to cognitive bias? Interesting discussion to say the least.

Haselton, M. G., & Buss, D. M. (2000). Error management theory: A new perspective on biases in cross-sex mind reading. Journal Of Personality And Social Psychology, 78(1), 81-91. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.78.1.81

tl;dr Men want sex, women want commitment. Men and women manipulate each other to these ends.
 
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