Are most men cheaters? And experiment

Are the guys being responsive to you, or their girlfriends? I'm lost.
 
Look, I will join in the chorus of voices that say you're being unethical and cruel. I will also say that they have nobody but themselves to blame for thinking that the two of you have a real connection. The way you describe it, it seems like not a single one of them have thought twice about why you have started flirting with them all of a sudden.
 
Wow, OP, I am so glad you are not my friend! Thank you for making this side of yourself known, I will keep my distance.
 
You know, Artemisia, I've had women do you what you did to my relationships before. Recently I've been hearing a lot of people say "Just because there is a goal keeper, it doesn't mean that you can't score." Sometimes, I wonder if it's a social phenomenon than it is a gender-related behavior, because women cheat as well.

I can write down a post analyzing what happened in my relationships and explaining why it happened, but it doesn't matter. When you treat people with mind games, you will receive mind games in return.

I know that not all men are cheaters. I've had decent relationships before as well. My ex was wonderful and I trusted him completely. I trusted all of them, actually, not because they were necessarily trust worthy, but because that is what I wanted to build my relationships on. You gotta give people the benefit of the doubt.

My own father is a great man. Married to my mother for 25 years. I've seen women approach him suggestively, and he would kindly turn them down. That kind of relationship is possible, and it is out there for those who want it. Murky relationships are out there as well for those who want it too.

There are different kinds of people in the world, and more often than not, you are who you surround yourself with.


I hope that you will find the right person to love you for who you are, and not for what's between your legs.


That said, there are many experiments out there that are far more interesting than messing with people's hearts. (;
 
Artemisia said:
Really. I have been conducting an experiment recently. I have been sending loving/flirtatious notes and emails to some of my male friends who have girlfriends. Most of them claim they are in love with their girlfriends. You would be surprised to see how easy it is for them to cheat with another woman if the other woman shows interest in them. 3 out of the 6 live abroad and all three indicated they'd like to come and see me at some point (while being flirtatious themselves). The ones who are here where I live are also responding ecstatically to my giving nature. So while my sample size is small at the moment, that's 6/6 hits so far = 100%.

Remember, all of these guys are professionals (most with MAs or PhDs) and have girlfriends; most of them claim they are in love with them. Yet, if the opportunity of sex with me arose, they'd think nothing of cheating. I could be any woman, not saying that it's because they find me especially hot. They are responding to my supposed interest in them! I'm sick to my stomach. Are most (not all) men THIS selfish?
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I think its sad if this is the case, I wouldnt generalise from such a small sample but I dont think we live in a culture which encourages resistance to temptation for either of the sexes or fidelity to spouses, monogamous values etc.

I have been in cases were I was sorely tempted to make moves on people I knew were committed to others and refrained from it, I been over that in my own head and wondered if it was want of courage rather than a surfiet (spelling) of virtue which stopped me. In some of those situations the ladies in question were, to quote the cranberries, such a dream to me and it was no small matter.
 
I dont think people should be attacking the OP like they have but characterising it as selfish behaviour to be willing to cheat is reductive too, who knows what private struggles they're going through and it could be hopes and dreams of happiness which are as universal as lust motivating it all.
 
Artemisia said:
Really. I have been conducting an experiment recently. I have been sending loving/flirtatious notes and emails to some of my male friends who have girlfriends. Most of them claim they are in love with their girlfriends. You would be surprised to see how easy it is for them to cheat with another woman if the other woman shows interest in them. 3 out of the 6 live abroad and all three indicated they'd like to come and see me at some point (while being flirtatious themselves). The ones who are here where I live are also responding ecstatically to my giving nature. So while my sample size is small at the moment, that's 6/6 hits so far = 100%.

Remember, all of these guys are professionals (most with MAs or PhDs) and have girlfriends; most of them claim they are in love with them. Yet, if the opportunity of sex with me arose, they'd think nothing of cheating. I could be any woman, not saying that it's because they find me especially hot. They are responding to my supposed interest in them! I'm sick to my stomach. Are most (not all) men THIS selfish?
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The result of your experiment may be valid, but it's very likely that your sample is not representative.

A lot of people (not only men) are cheaters because people are weak and prone to sin. When a relationship is in a bad period and the opportunity arises a lot od people will cheat. It's called running away from problems instead of solving them.

I see you're receiving some hate for doing what you're doing. You probably stirred the pot because you made some people aware of their weaknesses and we are all weak. Also people who had their relationships homewrecked may unconsciously associate you with their homewrecked relationships and therefore attack you, but I see no purpose in that. It takes two to tango and it takes two to cheat so when a man cheats it's lame to blame only a woman who's tempting them and find the man an innocent flower. Like a man can't say that he's in a relationship and therefore not interested? Come on.

But in the end, why would you do all of this? There are better things to do than help people sin. E.g. trying to find a man who's not a cheater and I believe there are some non-cheating men out there.

Conclusion: Satan is making you do this.
 
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Seek help. Now.
 
[video=youtube;gxyySRgrYsU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxyySRgrYsU[/video]
[video=youtube;5JJFBtHcBnM]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JJFBtHcBnM[/video]

I think these two videos answer a lot of questions.

[MENTION=11526]Artemisia[/MENTION] Your "experiment" is completely bogus and you obviously have bias. Furthermore, some people are in relationships for different reasons than others. Some people will have sex at the drop of a hat, others have more self control- in some ways it has to do more with impulse control than fidelity and love.

Read more about the scientific method before conducting any experiments- it might help you in your personal life. What are you going to do now that all 6 men want to have sex with you?

One thing I noticed is that people will often flirt with no intention of having sex. Just as there are 16 personality types, with countless added features, there are different kinds of people- some people thrive off of attention or validation, but I can assure you not everyone does.
 
Artemisia said:
Update. One of the guy friends (the one who wants to come to Europe from Australia to see me) is asking "what is going on between us, Artemisia? Are we falling for each other?"
Oh-oh. This is the guy who puts little hearts on his friend's FB page every week.
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I wonder if you lead him on far enough, whether he will break up with the girlfriend and come to commence a relationship with you.

Until one is in a definitively committed relationship this would seem to be a non-cheating possibility: break-up with one, to start a relationship with another.



On a side-note a sub-title for this thread could be: Are women capable of manipulating men?
 
just me said:
Are the guys being responsive to you, or their girlfriends? I'm lost.
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u are lost in the abyss of the OP's giant vag which has a circumference that encompasses the entire planet and explains why 6 men in different parts of the world dont need to travel far to fit into it
 
The old Kinsey studies found that about 50% of men and 26% of women cheat: http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/five-myths-about-cheating/2012/02/08/gIQANGdaBR_story.html

Other studies have different numbers. Regardless, apparently a ridiculously large number of people are open to cheating and/or are cheaters. That 6/6 guys would be willing to cheat is not surprising (and as others have pointed out, not representative).

But what it does show is the kind of circles you run in. Not that I blame you. I wouldn't want to put my college friends to this test. I don't think they'd all pass either, but I like to think most of them would remain faithful.
 
About as accurate as me pretending to be a female online, soliciting male attention, and then concluding that they must be homosexual. Brilliant deduction.
 
Artemisia, I thought I'd move the conversation over here, instead of derailing the thread (http://www.infjs.com/forums/showthread.php?p=760140#post760140)


Artemisia said:
I am dating another guy now who pursues me.
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Artemisia said:
Ummm, no. This is a guy I met several months ago who is pursuing me and I am letting him pursue.
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Within the context of your research...are you dating this guy, while sending off emails to other people to lure them into a relationship with you? Wouldn't that mean you are cheating on the man you're seeing?

Also, any updates on your research?
 
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Personally I am of the opinion that there are A LOT of factors and variables at play that determine their reaction to your approach.

I am not fond of any of the things your post appears to imply on so many levels, and the resulting thoughts, feelings, conclusions and impacts this might have in varying scenario's ranging from a few people to the majority of the world to believe conclusions like these are the truth. Regardless off the scale and depth of the experiment. If you cannot fathom the depths of my thoughts behind these words, then I would advice you to spend your time on other things than this.
 
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@<a href="http://www.infjs.com/member.php?u=11526" target="_blank">Artemisia</a>
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I think you would really appreciate this video where a couples therapist explains why people cheat....

[video]http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14188/why-people-cheat-a-couples-therapist-explains.html[/video]
 
Artemisia said:
Really. I have been conducting an experiment recently. I have been sending loving/flirtatious notes and emails to some of my male friends who have girlfriends. Most of them claim they are in love with their girlfriends. You would be surprised to see how easy it is for them to cheat with another woman if the other woman shows interest in them. 3 out of the 6 live abroad and all three indicated they'd like to come and see me at some point (while being flirtatious themselves). The ones who are here where I live are also responding ecstatically to my giving nature. So while my sample size is small at the moment, that's 6/6 hits so far = 100%.

Remember, all of these guys are professionals (most with MAs or PhDs) and have girlfriends; most of them claim they are in love with them. Yet, if the opportunity of sex with me arose, they'd think nothing of cheating. I could be any woman, not saying that it's because they find me especially hot. They are responding to my supposed interest in them! I'm sick to my stomach. Are most (not all) men THIS selfish?
Click to expand...

I think you would really appreciate this video about why people cheat.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14188/why-people-cheat-a-couples-therapist-explains.html
 
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