- MBTI
- ISTJ
- Enneagram
- 9w1
How cute, you're old.
[INFJ] Are you likeable?? Socially accepted?? Even Popular?
- Thread starter Profoundhappiness
- Start date
Do you have trouble spots?
Small group settings are n/p for me, I enjoy them mostly. When it comes to larger groups, it really depends on who is there. Sometimes I feel like I have no problem at all, other times I feel awkward, but I believe I hide it pretty well.
Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
Mostly.
Do you feel you bumble around?
No, unless I feel really uncomfortable for some reason, like encountering someone whose personality rubs me the wrong way.
Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
I filter, yea. The things that pop into my head are just too random and/ or cerebral to blurt out to most people. I alter my personality depending on the setting. It doesn't feel like faking necessarily, it just feels like showing different aspects of me.
Do people catch that you are different??
Some people do.
Do you feel like you fit in?
No, but it's usually a good thing!
Popular amongst the opposite sex??
When I let them near, yes, which hasn't been too often lately lol
Do people like you, basically.
I hope so! Haha. I think they do.
Small group settings are n/p for me, I enjoy them mostly. When it comes to larger groups, it really depends on who is there. Sometimes I feel like I have no problem at all, other times I feel awkward, but I believe I hide it pretty well.
Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
Mostly.
Do you feel you bumble around?
No, unless I feel really uncomfortable for some reason, like encountering someone whose personality rubs me the wrong way.
Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
I filter, yea. The things that pop into my head are just too random and/ or cerebral to blurt out to most people. I alter my personality depending on the setting. It doesn't feel like faking necessarily, it just feels like showing different aspects of me.
Do people catch that you are different??
Some people do.
Do you feel like you fit in?
No, but it's usually a good thing!
Popular amongst the opposite sex??
When I let them near, yes, which hasn't been too often lately lol
Do people like you, basically.
I hope so! Haha. I think they do.
Ryso89
Banned
- MBTI
- INFJ
I am very likeable. I don't engage much with new people until I've encountered them enough to see who they really are. The more I get to know someone, the more layers I open up. My best friends of many years are still uncovering those many layers.
I've never been popular. I have a lot of friends, many of them very close. I make friends easily.
I am always genuine. I'm very respected.
I am weird, and I attract other weird people. Always.
I am socially selective. It depends on my mood, and alcohol. I can rip up the dance floor alone with the spotlight on me on a fair amount of booze if I'm feeling the energy and am comfortable with the people I am there with, but otherwise I am a complete hermit and won't even talk to anyone for several days.
I've never been popular. I have a lot of friends, many of them very close. I make friends easily.
I am always genuine. I'm very respected.
I am weird, and I attract other weird people. Always.
I am socially selective. It depends on my mood, and alcohol. I can rip up the dance floor alone with the spotlight on me on a fair amount of booze if I'm feeling the energy and am comfortable with the people I am there with, but otherwise I am a complete hermit and won't even talk to anyone for several days.
AngelineIsTyping
Regular Poster
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- Type 4
I’m going to answer as a friend of mine who’s also an INFJ. When I saw this thread I immediately thought of her because she’s so popular among her peers despite fundamental divergence in personality and values. I think she’s more of a social type INFJ while I dissociate from social games and don’t care much about popularity—unlike her overflowing empathy for those who come to her seeking emotional support, I reserve my energy only for those I care about.
So, speaking in the identity of my friend:
Do you have trouble spots?
My friend: I sometimes find it challenging to initiate friendships with other people though I seem to draw them in effortlessly. In fact, I hardly ever initiate anything, and usually boys chase me rather than the other way round. I don’t see the point of falling in love with them—they’re so immature that they’d pull all sorts of stunts to impress me. Rather performative of them, if you ask me, but then again it’s not like I let them in. I don’t communicate my needs and feelings directly to others in fear of hurting their feelings, and I hardly ever show anyone my true self in case they weaponize my weaknesses against me.
Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
My friend: Sure. It comes as naturally to me as breathing. People seem to like me even though I don’t make much effort reaching out. I’d sit with them and listen to them when they pour out their hearts to me—since I learned from a young age that people will like you better if you pretend to be interested in what they’re saying. The golden rules of socializing: Don’t talk. Listen. Be a good friend. Be empathetic. Be their free therapist when they are in a dark place.
Do you feel you bumble around?
My friend: Not sure what that means, but I suppose I am a friend of the world. I have a reputation for being the “nicest girl in class”.
Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
My friend: Good question! When I am alone or with one or two friends I really trust, I would let down my guard a little so they could catch a glimpse of my true self behind the armor, but whenever I’m in a crowd I would draw the curtains. Smile, laugh at their jokes, exchange Internet memes and certain secrets, be a good ear. As much as I hate it, I still care about what other people think of me and I would generally try to get along with others and leave a good impression.
Do people catch that you are different??
My friend: I’m not sure how much of me they know, but I only let them see the tip of the iceberg. As Hemingway once described his writing, only 1/8 is transparent—the character’s actions and the things they witness on the surface—but the remaining 7/8 stays buried under the sea. That’s how people see me—not as a girl who’s different and who longs to be understood, but the smiling mask and performative grace.
Do you feel like you fit in?
My friend: Certainly. I think I’m either a type 2 or 9 which makes me popular among my folks. I conform in the usual ways but sometimes I wish that I could be myself in front of them without their expectations of me to be someone else. Everyone expects me to be this pretty, perfect, popular image who excels at school and smiles at the right times. I wish I didn’t always have to be pressurized to fit in.
Popular amongst the opposite sex??
My friend; I answered that already.
Do people like you, basically.
My friend: Yeah, but…
What do they see, really, when they look me in the eye?
Sometimes I feel like my true self is a shadow who disappears in the sun.
My friend said that when I smile, it’s like the sun lighting up and people are drawn to that smile like sunflowers to a beam. But on lonely nights when I look up at the moon, raw tears spilling on pages of Gone With the Wind, I wonder if anyone would ever see this side of me and love her fiercely. But I was the one who cultivated my filtered self, the idea everybody loves, the sun everybody draws energy from.
No one’s perfect.
Speaking as myself now…
I feel like INFJs really have a rare gift for understanding other people, especially those of their own kind. Despite my friend being different from me in certain fields I can still speak in her identity, because I know her scars well even though ours are visibly divergent. The world is a harsh place for INFJs and what my friend is going through might strike a chord in your heart if you’ve also been there. I want to let you know, whoever is reading my post, that you are not alone in this. (Also I posted this because I wanted to see what it was like to put myself in someone else’s shoes temporarily in this format.)
So, speaking in the identity of my friend:
Do you have trouble spots?
My friend: I sometimes find it challenging to initiate friendships with other people though I seem to draw them in effortlessly. In fact, I hardly ever initiate anything, and usually boys chase me rather than the other way round. I don’t see the point of falling in love with them—they’re so immature that they’d pull all sorts of stunts to impress me. Rather performative of them, if you ask me, but then again it’s not like I let them in. I don’t communicate my needs and feelings directly to others in fear of hurting their feelings, and I hardly ever show anyone my true self in case they weaponize my weaknesses against me.
Can you navigate the social landscape flawlessly?
My friend: Sure. It comes as naturally to me as breathing. People seem to like me even though I don’t make much effort reaching out. I’d sit with them and listen to them when they pour out their hearts to me—since I learned from a young age that people will like you better if you pretend to be interested in what they’re saying. The golden rules of socializing: Don’t talk. Listen. Be a good friend. Be empathetic. Be their free therapist when they are in a dark place.
Do you feel you bumble around?
My friend: Not sure what that means, but I suppose I am a friend of the world. I have a reputation for being the “nicest girl in class”.
Are you generally yourself? Or do you filter yourself for others?
My friend: Good question! When I am alone or with one or two friends I really trust, I would let down my guard a little so they could catch a glimpse of my true self behind the armor, but whenever I’m in a crowd I would draw the curtains. Smile, laugh at their jokes, exchange Internet memes and certain secrets, be a good ear. As much as I hate it, I still care about what other people think of me and I would generally try to get along with others and leave a good impression.
Do people catch that you are different??
My friend: I’m not sure how much of me they know, but I only let them see the tip of the iceberg. As Hemingway once described his writing, only 1/8 is transparent—the character’s actions and the things they witness on the surface—but the remaining 7/8 stays buried under the sea. That’s how people see me—not as a girl who’s different and who longs to be understood, but the smiling mask and performative grace.
Do you feel like you fit in?
My friend: Certainly. I think I’m either a type 2 or 9 which makes me popular among my folks. I conform in the usual ways but sometimes I wish that I could be myself in front of them without their expectations of me to be someone else. Everyone expects me to be this pretty, perfect, popular image who excels at school and smiles at the right times. I wish I didn’t always have to be pressurized to fit in.
Popular amongst the opposite sex??
My friend; I answered that already.
Do people like you, basically.
My friend: Yeah, but…
What do they see, really, when they look me in the eye?
Sometimes I feel like my true self is a shadow who disappears in the sun.
My friend said that when I smile, it’s like the sun lighting up and people are drawn to that smile like sunflowers to a beam. But on lonely nights when I look up at the moon, raw tears spilling on pages of Gone With the Wind, I wonder if anyone would ever see this side of me and love her fiercely. But I was the one who cultivated my filtered self, the idea everybody loves, the sun everybody draws energy from.
No one’s perfect.
Speaking as myself now…
I feel like INFJs really have a rare gift for understanding other people, especially those of their own kind. Despite my friend being different from me in certain fields I can still speak in her identity, because I know her scars well even though ours are visibly divergent. The world is a harsh place for INFJs and what my friend is going through might strike a chord in your heart if you’ve also been there. I want to let you know, whoever is reading my post, that you are not alone in this. (Also I posted this because I wanted to see what it was like to put myself in someone else’s shoes temporarily in this format.)
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