"Be a little less nice."

[Detective Conan]

Person A : "You should be a little less nice"
Person B : "Alright, go fuck yourself"

The end. :thumb:

For me, it usually goes on like this

Person B: "AND I'LL PULL OUT MY GUN!"
Person C: "SHIT SOMEONE CALL THE COPS!"

Wait... that doesn't happen... too often...

Honestly, for me, I tend to not care enough to be less nice even if someone asks me to. Is that more than a little ironic?

 

[Cecilff2]

Hug them.

 

[Kgal]

Assuming you -are- nice, with all the connotations (polite, amicable, good grasp of etiquette, slightly unwilling to confront people).....

If someone directly said it to you, under generic circumstances (no ill will, casual acquaintances to common friend, on a non-heated situation, with exact intentions a.k.a not a joke), would you comply?
======

I personally wouldn't, because I'm being nice when I want to, and trust me, when I am not, you don't have to ask. /deadpan

Yes. I would attempt to "be less nice". I actually had a group counselor suggest something similar to me a long time ago. It was a lesson, of sorts, and a chance for me to learn about my behaviors and thinking patterns.

Let's say you are in a situation with other people and you suddenly become aware of how "nice" you are acting - even though you aren't really "feeling" amicable. As your awareness of yourself increases in the those next few moments you realize you don't exactly know "why" you are behaving in such a manner - you just "are". At this point I think I would choose to change my behavior - maybe to acting neutral - or to carry it further and act "not nice" (whatever that entails) to give my hidden psyche - my hidden self - a chance to "be".

You see, the feeling of not wanting to be nice while at the same time "acting" nice is a disconnect between those aspects of self. Consciously choosing to act against what you "always" do may reveal new hidden knowledge.

 

[Jill Hives]

I told my husband just yesterday that he needs to start being a little more of an asshole, but what I really meant was that he needs to stop being so much of a doormat. If you give off a very non-confrontational friendly vibe, many people in the world see this as an open door to take advantage of you because they know you are too afraid of conflict to defend yourself.

When I see this happen to people I care about, I get livid and wanna smack a bitch.

 

[Odyne]

Genuine > Nice

I'd rather someone be genuinely themselves with me, than nice and polite. If we get along, great. If we don't, I am sure we'll both find others with whom we will.

If you are genuinely nice and someone says:"Be a lil less nice", then you can reply with:"I respectfully decline, and you may respectfully go die. " (This part was a joke..)

 

[This]

Why would anyone want you to be less nice?

being a doormat actually isn't being nice, it's an attempt to be manipulative and to create some feeling of debt in another person. At least from what I've seen.

I think I'm a pretty nice person but the reason is because I see no real value in being a dick. I wouldn't treat someone in a way that I myself wouldn't want to be treated because I can empathetically see how it would effect that person. And everyone has reasons for being the way they are. We don't know all those reasons.

 

[Cecilff2]

Genuine > Nice

I'd rather someone be genuinely themselves with me, than nice and polite. If we get along, great. If we don't, I am sure we'll both find others with whom we will.

If you are genuinely nice and someone says:"Be a lil less nice", then you can reply with:"I respectfully decline, and you may respectfully go die. " (This part was a joke..)

In a way, continuing to be your nice self is being a little less nice by ignoring their request.

 

[Odyne]

In a way, continuing to be your nice self is being a little less nice by ignoring their request.

I meant that if you are genuinely a nice person and that it's not simply a facade you put upfront for social contexts, then when someone comes along and asks you to be a little less nice because they can't handle it, it's their problem, not yours.

The point I am getting at is you don't change who you are for others. If you believe that being nice and respectful is the way to live by, then so be it.

A lot of people don't understand that strength is in kindness and not in aggression.

BUT as my personal preference, I'd still take a genuine aggression over a fake nicety.

 

[Lerxst]

Wouldn't being less nice still be considered nice since you're doing what they asked?

I would probably stay exactly the same, except for one annoying thing, like slamming the door on people behind me, or referring to them all as "fuck-tards" every time I talk... while still acting nice.

 

[DimensionX]

I'm actually quite an evil black hearted son of a bitch, I think I do a good job with the facade though....I try my best otherwise I'll actually be suspected for doing all those things that I've set others up for. (just don't tell anyone)

 

[jyrffw54]

Like Arsal, I would probably tone it down a bit, but I'm not going to change my personality to appease someone.

 

[Faye]

I would say "fuck you" to them and go on being just as nice as I usually am.

 

[magister343]

The word Nice comes from the Latin Nescius and originally meant Ignorant. Then it went on to mean senseless, foolish, stupid, timid, fussy, and delicate before becoming an almost completely meaningless term with a connotation of mild agreeableness.

I for one still prefer to use Nice as an insult. Of course, you should never let the failings of niceness prevent the superior virtue of kindness.

 

[AUM]

The word Nice comes from the Latin Nescius and originally meant Ignorant. Then it went on to mean senseless, foolish, stupid, timid, fussy, and delicate before becoming an almost completely meaningless term with a connotation of mild agreeableness.

I for one still prefer to use Nice as an insult. Of course, you should never let the failings of niceness prevent the superior virtue of kindness.

Interesting. There's a word in Spanish "necio" which I suspect comes from that root which also means "stupid".

 

[j e s s i e]

People have a habit of assuming that "nice" people are simply being nice to please others to either gain some sort of approval or to be clingy with others to cover insecurities. People believe it is fake. In a way it can be blamed on culture and that everyone seems to have cynical views on society. I hate it because people often mistake my true intentions. My niceness comes naturally.

This.

I've never been told I'm too nice, nor have I been told to be less nice. Though I jokingly say the same to my ENFJ friend all the time (and he doesn't get it only from me). I know him well enough to know his niceness and his large capacity for caring come naturally to him. It is part of his core self, part of his personality. He could be mean if he wanted to, but that doesn't change who he is. No matter how many times he's told, he's not able or willing to change such a trait that is deeply ingrained within him.

 

[Edith]

I hate this shit. If I'm being nice, it's because I want to be.

Plus I can NEVER win.

"Be less nice."
I be less nice.
"You're a bitch. Be more nice."
I be more nice.
"You're a doormat. Be less nice."

Some people are so black and white in their thinking about niceness, or think that being nice means I'm not being genuine. But that's bullshit.

 

[primaloath]

If you're talking about it in a "romantic" context (I put that in quotes, as any person who thinks people can be "too nice" is unmistakably not romantic), have a look at this:
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUrcKmbYSJQ&feature=feedlik"]YouTube - ‪The rejection of "you're too nice of a guy" - a prospective (part 1)‬‏[/ame]

If someone told me "be less nice", I would be tempted to tell them to "be less around me".

Though if I wanted to be more polite, I would ask them why they thought that way, to get a better understanding of their mindset. I would further ask whether they envisioned their ideal relationship with people as being based on kindness and mutual aid, and if not, what other principles their ideal relationship would be based on. I would point out that, according to common sense, people are less happy with each other when they are less nice to each other, then ask him/her to be nicer to me, so that we could be happier with each other. Since he/she wouldn't want that, I would then curtly explain that I don't want to bother building half-hearted relationships and leave it there.

 

[the]

I would just tell them to be careful what you wish for.

 

[not sure]

If you're talking about it in a "romantic" context (I put that in quotes, as any person who thinks people can be "too nice" is unmistakably not romantic), have a look at this:
YouTube - ‪The rejection of "you're too nice of a guy" - a prospective (part 1)‬‏

If someone told me "be less nice", I would be tempted to tell them to "be less around me".

Though if I wanted to be more polite, I would ask them why they thought that way, to get a better understanding of their mindset. I would further ask whether they envisioned their ideal relationship with people as being based on kindness and mutual aid, and if not, what other principles their ideal relationship would be based on. I would point out that, according to common sense, people are less happy with each other when they are less nice to each other, then ask him/her to be nicer to me, so that we could be happier with each other. Since he/she wouldn't want that, I would then curtly explain that I don't want to bother building half-hearted relationships and leave it there.

Exactly, right. Niceness + sincerity = winning combination.

I just watched the video. What he describes is especially common in Caribbean culture. Some women actually say, "He doesn't love me if he doesn't beat me." I think women live what they learn. If the father figure in their life was domineering they'll gravitate towards that simply because it's familiar.

On the other hand, I think many women do expect men to exhibit some amount of dominance, take the lead so to speak. The problem is that there aren't many examples of how this can be done respectfully, if at all.

 

[Resonance]

Exactly, right. Niceness + sincerity = winning combination.

I just watched the video. What he describes is especially common in Caribbean culture. Some women actually say, "He doesn't love me if he doesn't beat me." I think women live what they learn. If the father figure in their life was domineering they'll gravitate towards that simply because it's familiar.

It's awful ;.; but so, so common.

On the other hand, I think many women do expect men to exhibit some amount of dominance, take the lead so to speak. The problem is that there aren't many examples of how this can be done respectfully, if at all.

I think it's pretty simple: do something, and pay attention to how your partner reacts. If they resist, stop.

Playing resistance/pushing games might be sexy but it's also how rape happens. There's better ways to spice things up.