Biggest myths about love or relationships . . .

TheDaringHatTrick said:
Biggest Myth IMO: Once you get into a relationship, everything else is going to be okay. Um, nope, no its not. Don't hide behind the relationship. Just because you're surrounded by love and comfort, doesn't mean your fears and shortcomings are about to take a hike.

Second Biggest Myth IMO: If you're not in a relationship, or haven't been in a relationship for quite some time, than you're worthless and unlovable, and doomed to a lifetime of loneliness.
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I pretty much would have said the same things. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you'll never be lonely and another person cannot be responsible for making another person complete or happy.
 
Janet said:
Phbbbtt. Nah, not true. (With all due respect, of course!)

I've been with the same man (married and not) for 20 years, since we were both 19, and managed to enjoy it thoroughly. It is less work than dating, that's for sure. Dating inolves gobs and gobs of uncertainty and lack of trust, and the necessity (imaginary necessity, perhaps) of doing painful things like waxing certain body parts that were never meant to be waxed, and the discomfort that comes from lack of true intimacy.

Married (or whatever) is way more fun and enjoyable because you don't have to deal with that kind of nonsense and other kinds of nonsense that people who are dating have to cope with. And it's not work, not really, if you love the other person, it makes everything (including sex) way more fun and less onerous, because you are with someone you love, like and respect.

Maybe instead of "married" I should've typed "in a loving monogamous relationship". That may have made more sense, and it is certainly not work, at least not in my opinion/experience.
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Nah, my remark was bit crass I kind of regretted posting it but thought -there's nothing I can do now but live up to it-. I sincerly hate it when someone posts something really douchey and then changes the message to cover it up.

I can see how those remarks work in general but I'm specialized person with specialized ways of dating, in which being married and dating makes pretty much no difference. In fact, being very close friends and dating are pretty much the same thing. There's no line of division.
 
Opposites Attract: Ok, it's true that they might complement each other, but personally I would not be attracted at all to someone who was my opposite! I would get so annoyed/irritated!!..our values would just be so contradicting..conflict would not stop..and I don't want conflict in the first place..so I don't believe in the whole opposites attract concept..
 
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slant said:
Nah, my remark was bit crass I kind of regretted posting it but thought -there's nothing I can do now but live up to it-. I sincerly hate it when someone posts something really douchey and then changes the message to cover it up.

I can see how those remarks work in general but I'm specialized person with specialized ways of dating, in which being married and dating makes pretty much no difference. In fact, being very close friends and dating are pretty much the same thing. There's no line of division.
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Well, I jut wanted to let you know I sent you one of those "good reputation" thingeys, but then the pop-up window informed me I should be feeling guilty about having done so, so just for clarity: no problem!

(I hate it when technoloy bosses you around, kind of reminds me of the stupid GPS lady who is oblivious to the fact that I need to pee and keeps telling me to make a "legal U turn" when I am just trying to go into the local mickey d's for crying out loud.)

Anyhoo. Whatever works for you! (hugs)
 
Restraint said:
There are many threads on relationships floating around, but a question I've always wanted to ask is:

What are some of the biggest myths or misconceptions you or anyone else you know may have about love and/or relationships?
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That is comes easy.... or, that you don't have to work at it.


BTW: I married my personal Opposite. And love it. I have grown so much as a person... and so has he. Looking back in it, I would not change a thing!


After reading these through, I should perhaps explain why I wrote "work." Work to me, would be having to really apply myself. Work is at times: difficult, draining yet necessary. I married my opposite and it has forced me to look from both sides of every issue... I was rather lazy about this before and perhaps so was he. Hence, the love of it and well worth the effort part. Because I could never go back to whom was I before. Nor, would I want to.
 
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You must be loved in order to love. Many will disagree. Love is often based on an appreciation of a person, who they are, and not what they can do with you or for you. As many here can probably attest, you can love someone without the love being returned. This doesn't make it any less true or real, nor does it mean it's simple infatuation or lust. It just so happens the other person doesn't feel the same way. As long as you're not imposing those feelings on the object of your affection, there's no reason to think those feelings are less important or invalid, simply because they're not returned.

If you love someone, then you should be in a relationship with them. You can love someone deeply and not be in a relationship with them. Some people are just not meant to be together, although they may love each other to death. e.g. You can love a friend to death, but it doesn't mean you'd make the best housemates.
 
Restraint said:
You must be loved in order to love. Many will disagree. Love is often based on an appreciation of a person, who they are, and not what they can do with you or for you. As many here can probably attest, you can love someone without the love being returned. This doesn't make it any less true or real, nor does it mean it's simple infatuation or lust. It just so happens the other person doesn't feel the same way. As long as you're not imposing those feelings on the object of your affection, there's no reason to think those feelings are less important or invalid, simply because they're not returned.
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... Wow. Very well put! And I agree.
 
That love is unconditional. Well, it isn't, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Love, in order to be maintained, has to be fought for; people fall in and out of love all the time, but it's those that compromise and switch it up that manage to hold on to the bonds. And those are the relationships that work; you can't expect someone to love you forever or for you to love forever just because that love existed "unconditionally," because it's not that easy.

Love gives as much as is put into it. Relationships are much more than just being "in love."
 
gloomy-optimist said:
That love is unconditional. Well, it isn't, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Love, in order to be maintained, has to be fought for; people fall in and out of love all the time, but it's those that compromise and switch it up that manage to hold on to the bonds. And those are the relationships that work; you can't expect someone to love you forever or for you to love forever just because that love existed "unconditionally," because it's not that easy.

Love gives as much as is put into it. Relationships are much more than just being "in love."
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AWW SO TRUE!!! SO WELL PUT GIRL ^^
 
Biggest myth about love? That love at first sight exists. There is no love at first sight, there is only lust at first sight. Any example that anyone can give of love of first sight is more easily and rationally explained by it being lust at first sight that worked out remarkably well for both parties in the long term.

Too many people nowadays expect some instant "spark" when they meet someone and think that that spark means they're compatible. Maybe physically, but it gaurantees nothing. And you might let a lot of good catches go because you didn't feel some instant and rare "spark".
 
That women like nice guys.
Treat them mean, keep them keen. No really, from personal experience, I see all the assholes getting girls, and the nice guys are just left out.

Stupid hollywood!
 
prankster said:
That women like nice guys.
Treat them mean, keep them keen. No really, from personal experience, I see all the assholes getting girls, and the nice guys are just left out.

Stupid hollywood!
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That's actually true. Not sure why, but it happens that way a lot.
 
youhemmein said:
That's actually true. Not sure why, but it happens that way a lot.
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You mean that women DO like nice guys or go for assholes?
And I'm not trying to say that I'm a nice guy. I'm the introverted-ass. Imagine that.
 
That women like assholes. I've been trying to figure this one out for years. I'm the poster-child for this.
 
prankster said:
That women like nice guys.
Treat them mean, keep them keen. No really, from personal experience, I see all the assholes getting girls, and the nice guys are just left out.

Stupid hollywood!
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Actually that's not entirely true.
 
Nela said:
Actually that's not entirely true.
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There will always be exceptions, but I'm just speaking from my personal experience.
I didn't mean to offend you, but I see women around me claiming they like nice guys,
but then go for the assholes.
And when you point out they're returning to their ex-boyfriend who dumped them to have guilt-free sex with other women,
it's you who's the asshole. (Okay, that does make me a bit of an ass :P)

A week ago, someone told me: yea, you just have to treat them bad.
Really, you don't know how many times I call the sluts / whores / ...
Not that this goes up for all women. But it's just an example.
Confirmation bias? Perhaps :P
 
Girls are generally retarded with the type of guys they chose to date; women, on the otherhand, usually outgrown that retardedness. The only good women end up being lesbians anyway.
 
slant said:
Girls are generally retarded with the type of guys they chose to date; women, on the otherhand, usually outgrown that retardedness. The only good women end up being lesbians anyway.
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Now that's not fair. I'm not a lesbian, and I am a good woman. And I have outgrown the dating assholes phase, thankyousomuch.
 
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