Clues that give you a hint that an INFJ is angry or uncomfortable...

I normally tell my friends when i am angry with them.

How I react really depends on the context and severity of anger. Sometimes its literally like fight/flight.

If Im feeling very emotional and angry, I normally tell the person I'm really angry and need to be alone for a bit. I normally walk away and process my feelings before I say something uncalled for and stupid. It doesnt take me long to calm down. Sometimes in as little as a minute to myself. Being by myself gives me space and perspective to process. I try to calm down, empathise, understand and resolve. The worst thing that can happen with this is when people try to demand that I talk to them there and then and get all upset and manipulative when I try to walk away.

Alternatively, I sometimes I lose my temper and start yelling and carrying on in a very juevenile tantrum way. Sometimes I throw things around and break things. I seethe. Sometimes I say awful things. There can be death staring, and a bit of spasmodic ignoring and silent treatment for good measure.
I rarely carry on in this way though. Im only like that with the people Im closest to- my partner, best friends. They are the only people that really get to me, the people that Im closest to.

The only things I get mad about on a regular basis are social and political issues. I avoid personal dramas, gossiping and bitchiness like the plague. I dont really have conflicts with people about 'general' or relationship stuff.
 
They get quiet... brisk.... measured speech, or they lash out with condensending remarks or they "pull in" and are visibly resistant to being "pulled out"... and will resist beyond the point of such tension creating an atmosphere of social discomfort.
 
If I am around people I don't know then my responses become very terse. If I am around people I know then my left eyebrow will raise and I will avoid eye contact.
 
They use their mind powers to slowly drive you insane.
 
niffer said:
Hey, looks like we have the same mbti and enneagram type, OP. : )

It should be super obvious when an INFJ is upset or disappointed with you, from my point of view (Ne-Fi engage!) They will likely withdraw more, and be very obviously downcast around you if they do see you. If they feel like being bolder they might drop some angry stabbing comments at you here or there.

It's harder to tell when an INFJ is being more subtly just vaguely "uncomfortable" with you. I'm guessing there's a lot of exaggerated courteousness and forced as fuck smiling.

Help me out here bruthas.
Click to expand...

Gospel.
 
Its all about the facial expressions. I cannot hide what I am feeling, whether my forehead wrinkles when I have a head ache of my upper lip raising a bit when I get pissed. Look into their eyes and see whats behind the look. If you cannot get a sense than you should ask. An honest infj will tell you without hesitating.
 
Somethings usually wrong if they take a sudden turn to being vary quiet. If they were talking a commenting normally a few minutes ago but shut up after something is said.
 
The Doctor said:
Somethings usually wrong if they take a sudden turn to being vary quiet. If they were talking a commenting normally a few minutes ago but shut up after something is said.
Click to expand...
Me.

If prodded I will definitely let you know in a very snippy manner, but you should fuck off when I'm that pissed, because you'll only convince me to dig my heels in deeper.
 
It seems most people who have posted on this subject so far are pretty passive with their anger/discomfort.

When I'm upset it gets me moving. Simply feeling upset without acting on it seems futile and frustrating to me - I have to handle the problem. Just starting to deal with the source of frustration/anger switches my perception about it instantly from being a source of grief, to being a task.


To answer the question then: You'll know I'm upset when I start strategising.
 
Last edited:
How is this different than when any other type is upset?
 
Flavus Aquila said:
It seems most people who have posted on this subject so far are pretty passive with their anger/discomfort.

When I'm upset it gets me moving. Simply feeling upset without acting on it seems futile and frustrating to me - I have to handle the problem. Just starting to deal with the source of frustration/anger switches my perception about it instantly from being a source of grief, to being a task.


To answer the question then: You'll know I'm upset when I start strategising.
Click to expand...

Yeah, I'll work out rebuttals in my head while cleaning or going for a walk, which ends up calming me down. I end up venting to a friend who will plead with me to talk it out with the offender. Usually I avoid doing so, unless they bring it up, at which point I have so much emotion built up it comes out in tears as I try to explain the issue. Sucks.
 
If you are finding verbal communication difficult you could try using text/written communication more. I find it easier to write how I feel - assuming that the person you want to communicate with is able to write.
 
purplecrayons said:
Yeah, I'll work out rebuttals in my head while cleaning or going for a walk, which ends up calming me down. I end up venting to a friend who will plead with me to talk it out with the offender. Usually I avoid doing so, unless they bring it up, at which point I have so much emotion built up it comes out in tears as I try to explain the issue. Sucks.
Click to expand...

That sounds gut-wrenching.

Why don't you plan some constructive action and implement it?
 
Silent and withdrawn lol...most of my reactions to the bad or unpleasant are avoidance, ignoring, and withdrawing. If an INFJ gives you the cold shoulder than you have done something really bad or hurtful.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top