Corrupt a wish

granted i can predict the future of some random person half way across the world that I have never met.

I wish for a giant antique mirror
 
Granted but it breaks as you nudge it into position.
I wish for all wishes henceforth to have only positive outomes.
 
granted, AND positive is simply interpreted as adding to a situation, as opposed to removing something.

I wish to get through this orientation without ending up hating someone.
 
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granted, you complete the orientation without hating anyone. However the day after completion, the instructor of the orientation dies of a mysterious illness. You, as well as the rest of the people who took orientation with you, are quarantined for a month in a hospital because of concerns that it will spread.

I wish that dictionaries would stop adding words like "binge-watch" and "subtweet".
 
granted. Modern english fossilizes into its current form, and hence forth we start referring to this language as "post-modern" english.

I wish the hospital at least has decent internet access for the quarantine patients.
 
Granted, the hospital has decent access for the quarantined patients. However no one can remember the wifi password and you never get access.

I wish that grocery stores would stop putting cereal and diapers in the same aisle.
 
Granted, now they put cereal and diapers in the same box

i wish I could turn into an inflatable panda
 
Granted.... umm...how can I corrupt this more?

I wish that wishes were like horses.
 
Granted, wishes now require a saddle, a jockey and plenty of hay to eat before they're granted.

I wish for an aquarium
 
Granted. It is full of hay, has a saddle for a lid, and a short man constantly trying to make it run.

I wish my wishes at least come with hot jockeys. :D
 
NaeturVindur said:
Granted. It is full of hay, has a saddle for a lid, and a short man constantly trying to make it run.

I wish my wishes at least come with hot jockeys. :D
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Granted. They all come with hot jockeys burning up with fever from the ebola virus...

I wish for truth to be known by all.
 
granted truth is known by all but spoken by none, so nothing changes

I wish I could meet the next person in real life
 
granted, but you have to pay for plane fare and transportation.

I wish I could own a dog.
 
granted you get a dog and keep it in your house but it gets so attached to you it rips up the house when you're away so you have to move and give up the dog because you can no longer afford it.

I wish Robin Williams was still alive ;(
 
TinyBubbles said:
granted you get a dog and keep it in your house but it gets so attached to you it rips up the house when you're away so you have to move and give up the dog because you can no longer afford it.

I wish Robin Williams was still alive ;(
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granted but he's immortal and outlives the entire human race

I wish for an unbreakable giant antique mirror
 
TinyBubbles said:
granted but he's immortal and outlives the entire human race

I wish for an unbreakable giant antique mirror
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granted but it was made out of silver and now the silver is all tarnished where it contacts with the glass and no longer reflective.

i wish for a pair of wings to fly away with.
 
granted, you receive a pair of wings except you have no way of attaching them or using them. they sit in your basement for your entire life collecting dust.

I wish I could set a filter on social interactions so I would only have to deal with people who understand me
 
bodhireagan said:
granted, you receive a pair of wings except you have no way of attaching them or using them. they sit in your basement for your entire life collecting dust.

I wish I could set a filter on social interactions so I would only have to deal with people who understand me
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granted, turns out the only person who understands you is yourself, so you end up in a mental asylum talking to yourself all day

I wish for a pen that could write upside down
 
Granted, but it will not write right side up any longer.

I wish I could see you writing upside down.
 
Granted, but now you want to try everything in life upside down, including using a toilet. Good luck.

I wish for a pencil that was not too sharp and not too dull.
 
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