Corrupt a wish

Granted, everyone stops complaining. Instead, they cry when they normally would have complained. Constant crying.

I wish a full college education was affordable for everyone who desired it.
 
Granted and nobody with a college education can get a job when they get out.

I wish that we weren't messing up the environment.
 
A meteor wipes out all life on earth.


I wish no negative things will ever befall me & mine and those with us.
 
You all turn out to be agents of the Illuminati who are turned upon by the masses, before breakfast.

My dry spell ends and I finally find a good, original film to watch and zone into.
 
Granted, you find the perfect film. It is so perfect that you are sucked into it's reality and begin to accept that your life is the movie.

I wish that imperfection was more socially acceptable than perfection.
 
Granted, but it depends on where you are. You have a lot of traveling ahead of you, and the plane is not perfect.

I wish I could warm up to moving.
 
Granted, you are so warmed up you spontaneously combust

I wish I had an iPhone
 
Granted you have an iphone but it was previously owned by a terrorist. When the NSA finally gets around to tracking calls made from it, they find it in your ownership and believe you to be the terrorist. You are sent to court and brought up on charges of terrorism of kittens by putting bowls of milk just out of their reach. You are found guilty of the crime. Kittens and people across the world now despise your name. You are left wondering if having an iphone was worth the cost.

I wish that zebras were blue.
 
granted they are blue, but only because you've got a rare eye disease that tints every animal blue

I wish houses were made of gold
 
Not all houses are alike, so some are lightly gold-plated. Now you must have tin teeth, though.

I wish people would stop bashing the police.
 
Granted, they start bashing you instead!

I wish I started writing intelligent and thought provoking threats in this forum, that will make me an INFJ celebrity, renowned for his INFJness.
 
Granted, you become the master of nasty hyperbole, then lose your glasses.

I wish upon a star----
 
Granted. The wish tips its mass scale just enough to cause its balance to be off. It turns into a red giant and engulfs the planet you are on killing all life on it.

I wish for fairness to prevail
 
Granted. Fairness prevails and your sails become useless. Next you will be wishing for a cool breeze.

I wish my friend's bone density gets strong enough to hold his new hip.
 
granted it becomes as solid as titanium and crushes the new hip as soon as he bends

I wish I could take a long train journey
 
Granted but it's the magic Christmas train and you go to the North Pole and get mugged by an elf so you have to make toys for a year to afford a ticket back.

I wish I had a magic ego gun.
 
Granted, but they did not install a trigger.

I wish my dog could go into PetSmart.
 
Granted. Your dog goes into pet smart and is offered a job as a spokes person for the chain. Your dog goes on to become famous across the world. Everyone loves your dog and it becomes rich beyond measure. With popularity though also comes forgetfulness. Your dog quickly forgets who you are and at first stops wagging its tail until finally one day, it simply never comes home. You hear stories about your dog on the news good at first but then its life slowly implodes. You last hear of it bieng found at Lindsey Lohans house catering to her as her lap dog.

I wish enlightenment was free for those who ignore it.
 
Granted those who ignore it become enlightened and then charge a fortune to enlighten everyone else

I wish babies were born wearing top hats
 
Granted, but you now must explain this to your new daughter when she asks.

I wish my dog wouldn't have gone to PetSmart now.
 
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