Corrupt a wish

knight in battle said:
You turn people into toads, but they grow teeth and bite your shoulder off.
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I find this to be acceptable.

TinyBubbles said:
I wish I get a call back tomorrow
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You get the call and right in the middle of it you develop the worst case of flatulence known to man or beast and suddenly rip a giant wet fart that is not only clearly heard for what it is over the phone, but within quite a radius of your house as well.


I wish I were a tentacle monster.
 
You become a tentacle monster. In fact a pretty one. And all the lovely people grab onto you with love, causing you to fall head over tentacles.

I wish I could run a kilometer in five minutes.
 
granted you can run that fast, but on a treadmill only.

I wish I could freeze myself in a cryogenic chamber and be awoken in 2050
 
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I wish I had my two cute kittens back.
 
Granted. The taxidermist drops them off.

I wish touchscreen keyboards were easier to use.
 
Granted. They do it in a petri dish from stem cells.

I wish your kittens would start climbing curtains uncontrollably.
 
Your wish is granted by a magical genie named Fred and you receive a million adorable kittens dripping with wet, pink paint. Within an hour your house is covered in pink paint and has become the new set for a pornographic film titled "Cute in Pink".

I wish I did not cry during the cheesiest scenes in movies.
 
Granted, you continue to want to be happy forever

I wish I had a photographic memory
 
Granted, you see photos of everything but there is no room to remember how to talk so you can no longer communicate with people.

I wish I could do nothing for a day.
 
Granted, apparently since you haven't done anything for that day, you have missed plenty of wonderful opportunities. How do you like that you lazy bastard? :D

I wish I could never ever experience laziness.
 
granted, you never experience the laziness of other people, who do all your work for you leaving you utterly bored.

I wish I had the voice of Morgan Freeman
 
Granted, but you only have it when you are lovemaking which drives your boyfriend into having a major neurotic complex. He leaves you for an indeterminate transgender person who wants to have his baby but can't. They ask you to be a surrogate mom which you agree to and they impregnate you artificially. You give them the baby at birth but later you regret your decision. You begin to spiral until you get a call from Morgan Freeman's agent. He wants to hire you to do voice overs. At first you decline but then your ex calls and says you baby needs an expensive operation. You agree to do the voice overs but it requires you to have a "fluffer" and you end up falling in love with him. He finds you perverse and it kills you inside.

I wish I had a vivid imagination.
 
Oh, but you do. Imagine you are not going to WIN!!

I wish the best for you all.
 
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