Developing relationships

[Shadows]

Being an INFJ has led me through a tunnel of mysterious lights, but the one light that shines brightest for me is the “relationship” light. Although relationships are important to me, they are also the most difficult for me. Ever since I was young, I have had difficulties developing relationships. How many of you struggle with the same thing?

It’s easy for me to get people to like me, but getting myself to like them is a completely different story. I may enjoy their company but that doesn’t mean that I want to get involved with them or let them know me intimately.

How many INFJs struggle finding a partner?

 

[Sriracha]

My advice is to stop looking.

 

[Gaze]

Be
It’s easy for me to get people to like me, but getting myself to like them is a completely different story. I may enjoy their company but that doesn’t mean that I want to get involved with them or let them know me intimately.

Many people struggle with this, not just INFJs. Yeah, sounds like you're someone who is attracted to unique connections. Nothing is wrong with this. Attraction just operates a little differently for you. Probably just takes a particular kind of person or individual to draw your interest. That may actually work in your favor. Don't pressure yourself into finding someone or forcing a connection. As @Sriracha said, don't go searching for a special relationship or connection because it doesn't necessarily happen in this way. Instead, enjoy the relationships you currently have, without expecting anything more of them, and let your interests, connections, and attractions happen naturally.

 

[Bikerdelic]

Hello Shadows, interesting question you raised.
It took me a few years to find the right partner, and we have been together ever since after 21 years of unmarried bliss lol. I was very choosey about what women I knew, as I always went for personality over looks, although looks do come into it, but then beauty is in the eye of the beholder, me thinks.
I never wanted to be a father, so this was an important factor for me to consider, when meeting any women.
I never had much problems attracting women in my younger days, but found some of their attitudes to life unnerving, which would put my off knowing them any further.
Fidelity and genuineness are very important to me, so I became very disappointed in some of the women I knew of in the past, but it helped me to picture the kind of woman I would like to meet.
I also coming from a very mixed ethnic background, Scots Irish, Anglo- Indian, Jewish and Cockney Gypsy back ground, so finding a partner that would accept me socially was also another thing I had to consider in a very class derived Britain.
So in conclusion, no it wasn't difficult for me to attract women, but it was difficult for me to meet the right one.