do INFJ's believe they know someone without even making contact?

[NeverAmI]

Morgain, that almost sounds more SJ to me.

Are you sure that they aren't seeing you only at face value and dismissing anything that might be beneath the surface? Perhaps your Fi is feeding off that judgement and making you feel more vulnerable like "They MUST be right!" Whereas they truly don't see you at all, they are just short-sighted and don't really care to understand you as a whole.

I am not trying to bash on any MBTI type, I think it can just be a common occurrence.

Just a thought, though.

 

[Solar Empath]

I don't think I actually know who people are, but I have to admit that I am quick to dismiss people based on one or two minutes of interaction. Basically I think I do so in order to protect myself. Serious connections with the wrong people leave me hurt for too long a time to just allow anyone to know the real me.

 

[randomsomeone]

Are you sure that they aren't seeing you only at face value and dismissing anything that might be beneath the surface?

An interesting thought...

I am quite certain (because I know myself) that no one could ever know me at first glance. Yes, they may get an impression, but it is generally inaccurate. I know full well that have more stuff rattling around in me than anybody could possibly imagine.

That said, I have had two friends...only two...who could seemingly read me interiorly and see my heart. Now one of these was a museum curator who loved collections of old, odd, and/or interesting things...I always suspected that that explained her interest.

 

[Billy]

No, that's overly presumptuous and arrogant. I'll get a vibe about a person, which I like to think of a first impression, the extended edition, but I certainly do not think I "know" anyone without making contact... or think I have them completely figured out.

Unless all I'm arguing here is semantics, anyway. To "know" someone is a pretty strong assertion.

Mind, I'll be able to subconsciously pick up on patterns of behaviour, and to some extent, sense what a person values or likes or dislikes (we're naturally pretty sensitive to that sort of thing, methinks) but ultimately, I believe there's more to a person that meets the eye... or the Ni. I give most people the benefit of a doubt.

+1

the INFJ = psychic bullshit is getting pretty annoying. I almost use it to figure out who is an INFP in an INFJ disguise.

 

[Reon]

I believe that I can read people fairly well and decide if that person is interesting or not, and decide a course of action from that (This could be just a defense mechanism) . With that being said, I don't think it's very INFJish to state that you 'know' someone just from a small meeting with them. That's awfully presumptuous when INFJs have a (supposedly) deeper understanding of people, a desire to connect with people, and don't most INFJs constantly long for understanding? It's kinda weird for a group of people who have such massive interest in humans and change to go around and give someone a permanent label.

 

[Wyst]

How could you possibly know someone without ever meeting them. Ni is great fun to talk when you narrowly avoid getting a speeding ticket, your suspicions about someone happen to be correct... but I think people attribute coincidence to Ni WAY too much.

 

[Morgain]

Morgain, that almost sounds more SJ to me.

Are you sure that they aren't seeing you only at face value and dismissing anything that might be beneath the surface? Perhaps your Fi is feeding off that judgement and making you feel more vulnerable like "They MUST be right!" Whereas they truly don't see you at all, they are just short-sighted and don't really care to understand you as a whole.

I am not trying to bash on any MBTI type, I think it can just be a common occurrence.

Just a thought, though.

But about the SJ, I don't know. They are so much into psychology, spirituality and stuff, does an SJ even care about this?

I have no idea what I'm doing wrong here. I'm definitely sure that my Fi has been coloring my vision. Maybe it is Fi that makes me believe that they made up there mind about me. But at the other hand, I'm pretty good in noticing openings to a deeper contact with someone. They doesn't give me the impression that they care to see more, or change there opinions. Every time I reveal something, they come up with a judgement or a lesson for me. Like one huge irritation for me is the food there, we have to eat macrobiotic, meaning only grain and overcooked vegetables, no fish or meat, almost no fruit. They all like it, or pretend that they like it. I hate the food (and I'm normally not picky with food). Every time I let them see I hate it (I hate to pretend) or when my plate is not empty, I get a comment or lecture. Why can't they just accept

Anyhow, seeing your comments, I have to believe INFJ's wouldn't shut the door on someone. So there has to be some other explanation...:shocked:

 

[gloomy-optimist]

I wouldn't throw it out the window that these people are INFJ -- we're not perfect, and I imagine it would be possible for a group of INFJs to block out other non-Ni/Fe users because of the rare contact.

Fe does determine a lot about social structure. Some who uses Fe might follow social standards -- in other words, they may want you to conform to a standard for what's "better for you." This isn't as common in INFJs as it is in ExFJs and xSFJs, but when you get a lot of that in a room, it's possible that would surface more. The spiritual stuff also does sound like Ni to me.

I wouldn't like to be seen that way, and I certainly try to avoid acting that way. However, I could see myself acting like that in the right circumstances -- a group of INFJs might be more prone to these behaviors than an INFJ would be normally when flying solo.

 

[Morgain]

I wouldn't throw it out the window that these people are INFJ -- we're not perfect, and I imagine it would be possible for a group of INFJs to block out other non-Ni/Fe users because of the rare contact.

Fe does determine a lot about social structure. Some who uses Fe might follow social standards -- in other words, they may want you to conform to a standard for what's "better for you." This isn't as common in INFJs as it is in ExFJs and xSFJs, but when you get a lot of that in a room, it's possible that would surface more. The spiritual stuff also does sound like Ni to me.

I wouldn't like to be seen that way, and I certainly try to avoid acting that way. However, I could see myself acting like that in the right circumstances -- a group of INFJs might be more prone to these behaviors than an INFJ would be normally when flying solo.

that actualy makes a lot of sense to me. I honestly don't know how INFJ's would act when they are together in a group but they must have a rare contact with the Ni and Fe jumping between them. They must know a lot from eachother without saying it. And for a non INFJ it must look like telepathy. What is the exact vibe I get from them.

thanks a lot!
Now I wonder how it would be to meet you guys :fear::becky:

 

[SweetDreams]

Making judgments is something i can't stop myself from doing,
however i do question the accuracy of those judgments and
do try and find some basis to justify my assumptions. My initial
judgments change over time as i get to know someone better,
and interaction is a part of that.

 

[54192&#cmy]

Today I had an other shiatsu course day. It has been half a year since I had seen my classmates again. It always felt strange to me that I seemed not to be able to bound with these people. Today I have been observing them to find out why I can't connect and I think this must be it. I think they are INFJ and I'm INFP. So I need you guys to help me to figure this out!!!

I think they are all NF types. They must be, I don't see what a S or T type would do on a shiatsu course and I have seen with almost all of them strong intuitive and feeling capabilities. So if I had to type them I would say most of them are INFJ (or maybe ENFJ). A lot of them have a great intuition and a lot of times they can spit out an observation about someone out off the blue and right on the dot!

Secondly, among each other they seem to connect very strongly. It is like they talk on an other level than me. They know things about each other that I'm not aware of. They can say something out of the blue to the other and the other really likes it and appreciates it and I have now clue where that came from. They also can't stop talking about there lives, there spirituality and there vision on shiatsu. I like that to but to them it seems like I speak chinese. They don't see the depth of my feelings, my bound with shiatsu. I can't explain it and they don't seem interested. Like they don't expect much from me. For them, talking is very important. To me, when I truly bound with someone, I stop talking. I can sit there with the other person next to me, knowing that we are on the same level. I can stare in there eyes and see the opening, a connection of souls (this is very rare though). And in those moments there is no need for words. So the more I connect the less words I need. For them it is the other way around.

I feel also very uncomfortable when they look at me. It is like they have there tentacles into me to figure me out. I can see them look at me and I see that smug grin on there face "I have figured you out completely". They don't even try to get to know me, they don't even ask permission to scan me. They don't look me in the eyes. I don't understand this. When I want to get to know someone, I search his/here eyes. I ask for a contact through the eyes and when they look back at me and I can feel the eyes opening up to me, than I know I have permission to enter the scene and that he/she is interested in knowing me. These people don't look me in the eyes. They don't make contact with me. They give me the impression that they know me inside out. I feel like I have no privacy: "don't try to hide yourself from me little girl, I know you better than you know yourself". Why should I bother to interact with them, nothing I can say or do will change there minds. Every time I reveal something I got this sense "I knew that all along" or they are playing my therapist. Ok, if they truly are INFJ they must have some clue (a good clue) about who I am even without talking to me. But how can they truly know me if they haven't made contact yet??? How arogant can you be?

And than I wondered, Are they really INFJ? Do you guys scan people and than make up your mind about them without truly making contact? If they
are, I definitely am INFP

They are a very tight knit group. Breaking into their group will not be easy. You are going to have to become a communicator of your thoughts. You sitting there saying nothing gives off a sense of not caring about what is being said. Even if you are interested no one else is aware of your interest. So you will be ignored. Only speak from the heart and of things you actually know. Don.t b.s. them! They will be looking for that.