As an INFJ, I now just expect to be rejected or to have people leave me after the initial mystery has worn off (very quickly). Sometimes, I sense that people think I'm too quiet, or too intense or just weird because I have lots of different interests.
Does anyone else just expect negative reactions to INFJ-ness nowadays?
I find it very difficult to find people attracted to our personality type. It's usually INTJs who like me because we both like learning new things.
I think people, in general, are curious sorts. Initial correspondence is easy once it has started.....getting it started may be more difficult for the introvert for sure, though not a rule and not always. Sharing with someone we like can be like a run down the ski slope; exciting with energies being shared more than anything else. As long as we are going down that slope with vigor and excitement, all is well. At the end of that energetic journey,
we have to face each other and evaluate where we go next.
All too often, we climb the summit for another frenzy. Halfway down the slope, we find ourselves alone all too often. Sometimes we feel abandoned.
The rest of the way seems lacking of potential for fun and excitement, and sometimes unbeknown to us it shows all too well.
If a commitment has been made, more is at stake and feelings can be traumatized. Sometimes we do not understand what has happened or why we are where we are, but truth is intuitively seen by those similar to us while questioning may be thought of by others of different makeup. We decide to honor our commitment, but the slopes are never the same as that first run. We offer new mountains and even newer sports offering rides down the rapids. The raft rides offer new enlightenment, yet there is someone in the raft always working harder than the others along for the ride, steering the raft around the rocks and other dangers. This can become tiring.
Many people choose to walk away from commitments so they can further enjoy the life they have without the hard work involved
seemingly coming from mainly one source.
:fish2:
layball:
Unfortunately, that can all too often destroy another's life in a manner where nobody else can ever stop that spiralling downward crash that poor soul is on. The feeling of abandonment has turned into betrayal, and the person left behind may never get over it. That can lead to bad and serious health issues. Believe me: it is not an easy task regaining control of that plane spiralling toward the earth for a certain crash, though it is possible!
In retrospect, it is more difficult for me to stay with someone than it is for me to fear being abandoned. I sometimes feel I may be the cause of all the confusion and pains, and would rather blame myself for any shortcomings.
I can deal with it easier, so why not? I am stronger. I am used to being hurt. What is one more time going to matter? If nothing else, blaming myself makes me try harder to make things work out. I can find myself all alone once again, though with someone I enjoy, love, and want to be with. I choose the more difficult path to try and make the best out of it.
After all, they are the one having to live with someone so darned difficult to understand. I have found it all too easy to be down and alone throughout my life; who am I to throw away the feelings of another just for myself? And for what? So I can be alone again?
Oh, get behind me, misery
Remove thy bonds and set me free
Walk not with me when in the rain
Your hold upon my heart refrain
Let not your grasp through torment try
My dignity, please pass me by
For if there was one needed me
Their faithful one I choose to be
:rain:
hwell:
