Do you feel uninteresting?

Wyst said:
My worst nightmare is that I ever stopped initiating stuff, stopped texting, stopped emailing, that eventually, all I'd ever get would be junk mail and bills because no one would ever seek me out.
Click to expand...


Hey, that's my life right there. My "friends" invite me out to do something maybe once or twice a year, when they remember I exist.

Don't stop initiating stuff! ... or yes, you will fall out of the social circles entirely.

It's like living behind a glass wall. On the other side, everyone else is living their happy lives and I am somehow disconnected from all of it. Even if I try to connect, it doesn't seem to last.

I think subconsciously, I project this image that I am distanced from everyone, even my friends. Whether I like it or not, they perceive this and give me space.
 
PS - People often do find me interesting.... but sadly, these people are almost always weirdos themselves, people who are totally strange and have few if any friends.

These people seem exceptionally drawn to a loner like me. Their strange behavior and persistence in engaging me in conversation usually drives me away.
 
I have an interesting internal life, to say the least.

But my real life isn't that interesting, so when something eventful happens, I tell everyone. My eventful events aren't very interesting though.
 
I feel interesting, but no one is interested in me. Think book without a cover.
 
To the "average" person (I know..so generalizing, but when I'm fed up with the world, I don't care about this anymore), I'm afraid I seem uninteresting...just "nice", just "sweet", and "smart." But to the person who can see, a person who's just as vivid and complex as I, I know I'm pretty darn amazingly fascinating.
 
Yes, I feel uninteresting, but not for lack of trying to be interesting. It's hard, and frankly a little unrewarding.

I read a quote once about how people often crave identity, but that few people really want it, especially if they were to really get it. Instead, what they really crave is the security of childhood anonymity. But it went on the state that such anonymity is impossible except maybe in a police state. I think the book made a lot of sense: if someone ends up unique enough to be able to truthfully say that there is no one quite like them, then there is really no one who can really relate to that person, which is rather depressing. Complete loneliness isn't something I envy. I like space, and I'm very private, but having no one to talk to at all, ever, doesn't seem like a good time to me.

I guess life really would be easier if we were able to go back to having someone protect us, such as when we were children, and things like being interesting weren't as important as things such as being liked.

Somewhere along the line, I think we lost the connection, and being interesting became an end rather than a means. I think a lot of grief comes from that.
 
People invite me out quite a bit recently, mostly through work.

Though, it's always seemed like pity as opposed to intrigue.

What makes me boring is that I insist I can't be social , that going out in swarms makes me uncomfortable etc, so many people give up on me eventually.

It's fine by me really, I'm comfy in my own dimensions.
 
The problem you are having seems to be that you are waiting for other people to react to you. I find when I am in that mode nothing happens, and i sit around in self pity and wonder why no one is trying to come see me or talk to me.

When I decide to say screw it, and do my own thing BUT I let it be known what I am doing people show up and want to follow, as I do more of that people find out more and want to be around me more.

Establish yourself, start up some activities that can include others, people will begin to come to you. And you will feel more interesting.

It feels unnatural, but I find that if I treat my social life like a job or like a separate entity that requires certain action to exist in a way I want it to, its easier to manage, because you will just begin building a checklist of things you have to do to make it work. I call it the Billy show lol... and when I started treating it that way and it worked, I was amazed people wanted to be a part of it.

A good way to start is to go out and get some really awesome board games, I have an ENFJ friend who loves them, so he brings over Zombie games like Last night on earth, we built a small social circle around that and other similar games, now Tuesday nights I have 10 people crammed into my place wanting to watch horror movies, play that, and eat the food I cook for them. Its a lot of work, but very enjoyable and easy to maintain because everyone comes to me. :D
 
Last edited:
Interesting Billy. Hmm. As for the rest, I can see I have a bit of company.
 
I feel uninteresting, I know a lot of times when I try to setup an event people do not respond. Which makes me not want to try anymore. But at the same time, I have a feeling like others (which is not unfounded, btw), that If I do nothing, I will not be invited to anything.

I think appearing to be uninteresting + possibly giving off a bad vibe = people ignore me easily or just forget about me. Probably the latter more often than not.
 
Hmm. Should I write a humble answer or should I gloat? Decisions, decisions.
 
Most people aren't interested, so much as attracted to speak with others. Conversation with INFJs is not a particularly attractive proposition, aparently.
 
Wyst said:
Wow - I can really relate to this.

Usually, I'm never invited to stuff. When I'm looking for something to do and find out something is happening, I ask if I can join. It's rare for me to be officially invited to something with me having had a hand in it somehow.

In fact, usually, I'm the one that does the inviting.

Sometimes this makes me wonder if I disappear if people would even notice because it doesn't seem to make a difference if I'm there or not.

My worst nightmare is that I ever stopped initiating stuff, stopped texting, stopped emailing, that eventually, all I'd ever get would be junk mail and bills because no one would ever seek me out.
Click to expand...
That is EXACTLY how I feel
 
~jet said:
Do you feel uninteresting?
Click to expand...

Nope. I might be awkward or not expressive sometimes, but I'm too eccentric to be uninteresting.

However, I think people find what I have to say to be rather uninteresting typically.

(ETA: Most people have bad taste in conversational topics, IMHO)
 
Last edited:
KazeCraven said:
Nope. I might be awkward or not expressive sometimes, but I'm too eccentric to be uninteresting.

However, I think people find what I have to say to be rather uninteresting typically.

(ETA: Most people have bad taste in conversational topics, IMHO)
Click to expand...

Oh sure, I don't think I'm uninteresting at all; just FEEL that way because people take no notice or appear not to care.
 
Ah, I see. I can certainly relate to that, though I've since come to expect the social dynamic that Billy expanded on, so my feelings are in agreement with my thoughts now.
 
LOL Helllllll nooo not even close. My imagination is kind of crazy active. I chatted with sandra_b 6 months every day for hours and never ran out of steam. Hardly a lull.
 
Dragon said:
I have an interesting internal life, to say the least.

But my real life isn't that interesting, so when something eventful happens, I tell everyone. My eventful events aren't very interesting though.
Click to expand...
yeah. I feel the same too. :| Most of the times I played the calm, stoic card; the eccentricity kinda shows, I think; but few to no people were picking it. Oh, well? :P

Again, I'm thinking the key is to find similarities and points to connect, rather than differences, but yah...
 
I'm not sure about feeling uninteresting, but I don't find myself interesting- though I do get the sense that I give off a strange, almost enigmatic impression to other people because of my solitary and tactiturn nature, which I suppose, by default, makes me interesting to them. That said, as I am quite private and don't really desire to talk to people, people don't really want to talk to me; this isn't personal insecurity or anything to do with self-esteem, but human nature. People want to know and to be known; if you're not willing to reciprocate interest in another person, they are very unlikely to be willing to make the effort with you. I tend to find that people's perceptions of how interesting they find any one person is also dictated by their own interests and personality and by the 'image' that you project onto them. If you have an interesting enough image from what they have seen of you and you seem like someone who is sociable and easy to get to know, then you are more likely to find yourself interesting as a result of other people finding you interesting.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top