[INFJ] Does my INFJ guy friend like me or not?

Irish said:
Hey, Pinkerbell. I happen to be a guy who would act like your friend. I'm INFJ, I struggle with loneliness, finding genuine people, and someone understanding. When I meet a girl who I can have real and deep meaningful communication with there is nothing like it. It's refreshing and calming, helps sort out a brain on the brink of crazy. But in those instances girls become close friends and loyalty and love kicks in. It's like I want them to stay just as my best friend because they help me more than they know but still get jealous when they talk to other guys (usually only jealous when I don't like the other guy, maybe it comes from fear of loosing the friendship, time, and closeness to another person). Our personal loyalty will also drive us to be the perfect gentleman for the very few friends us INFJ's actually have. Like, it is take a bullet for you literal loyalty. A lot of times it's taken as flirting but it's actually the way we show our closest friends that we value them. We value them so we take care of them. Love (or I should specify attraction) eventually comes along and things get flirty and playful at times but like I said before, no actual intent of going further, it's simply giving into the natural feelings that start to occur in the situation. It's what happens when two people get close and spend time together.
So I believe this guy is depending on you as someone he trusts enough to let you into his chaotic mind and help settle/calm it. It sounds like he values you a ton as his best friend, being a gentleman is just his way of expressing to you that you are appreciated. And ask him right out if he wants to stay in the position as friends you currently are. Keep flirting on low or love chemicals start to fly and then the hearts get hurt. I don't think he would leave you, he depends on you too much as a friend to easy his mind/lonliness.
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Thank you for responding. I really appreciate you this. This information is on point.
 
I think it's obvious from how he went out of his way to schedule time specifically to be around you, that he likes you. INFJs (really, all INxx types) can be very coy when they like someone, which is probably confusing when you're accustomed to dealing with people (guys especially) who are more outgoing and direct.

My advice is just to talk to him about it. He might be embarrassed a little at first, but it will likely be a big relief for him to get it out in the open.
 
Pinkerbell said:
Will there be a point where you would want to pursue your bestfriend?
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For me, no. In those relationships I am after the mental stability and comfort of someone who cares. It wards off loneliness. Usually at those times I have a lot of stress but no person to vent or express it to. I have fallen for and kissed my best friend before, out of emotion. She set the line in the sand and now we may flirt and joke but we know we won't carry things over the line of best friends. I love her like a sister now. She is my best friend and we are different enough in our own respects a girlfriend type relationship would not work anyway. It's a very rare relationship with her, we talk about anything and everything. Just two great people going in different paths of life but enjoying eachother's company.
 
[INFJ] Does my INFJ guy friend like me or not?
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How the hell would I know?*




Just kidding. However...IMO, when people seek advice from strangers online...well, that's like a mournful cry in the dark. I think you care too much. It disturbs me.


* *hug*

Added: I know that sounded mean, but I truly was making a point. Basically, it's disconcerting that you have so much invested.
 
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Lurk said:
How the hell would I know?*




Just kidding. However...IMO, when people seek advice from strangers online...well, that's like a mournful cry in the dark. I think you care too much. It disturbs me.


* *hug*

Added: I know that sounded mean, but I truly was making a point. Basically, it's disconcerting that you have so much invested.
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I actually posted here to better understand INFJs. But, thank you for your honest opinion:)
 
Pinkerbell said:
I actually posted here to better understand INFJs. But, thank you for your honest opinion:)
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I came here to help others understand INFJ's! Assist others any way I can, use empath powers for good instead of evil. And if it all backfires hostile takeover through revolution and civil war I suppose would be next on my check list.
 
Lurk said:
How the hell would I know?*




Just kidding. However...IMO, when people seek advice from strangers online...well, that's like a mournful cry in the dark. I think you care too much. It disturbs me.


* *hug*

Added: I know that sounded mean, but I truly was making a point. Basically, it's disconcerting that you have so much invested.
Click to expand...
Not mad or raging, just educating. No explanation points here. We all good.
To help assist you with perspective, they call me INFJ, Empath, and Extroverted Introvert. I have yet to come across a counselor or therapist in active profession that I wasn't able to turn the tables and begin counseling and physiological evaluation on. When you come across a highly intellectual INFJ they see others in four dimensions and the world is their puppet. They are simply gracious enough (and sometimes shy enough) not to take advantage of it. If you are dealing with INFJ I think a place called INFJ.com is a good place to start because I've seen these "professionals," if it's not in a book they don't know it. And if not them who else would even begin to understand but others of like mind. INFJ, it's a lot like that drug in the movie Limitless with Bradley Cooper. Pretty much the most brilliantly complicated mind there is. It's just about near awful.
 
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