ENTP (Male) friend zoned after 1 date by INFJ (Female)

[Asa]

@Ramjet – Your post seems to go on and on in circles, questioning and overthinking everything and trying to push things around to make room (––possibility) for your desires. That's a lot of thought and emotional work to put into a new friendship when she already told you she isn't interested. At the beginning, romances should be easy and fun, and the two of you should gel.

The time you put into researching her MBTI type is admirable and I applaud your effort, but what she says matters more than her type description. People in their forties who've been in "the dating pool" for a while aren't likely to tell their potential matches they're not interested unless they mean it.

If it were me, I'd tell her how I feel and say if she ever changes her mind about dating, to text me... and then never expect such a text and walk away.

Put your energy toward new possibilities.

Not particularly addressing your situation, however, on the topic of friend zone. There is no such thing.

I do believe there is such a thing as friend-zoning and that it can happen to anyone regardless of gender. It doesn't mean anyone is to blame. It doesn't mean there is room for things to change. It's just when the object of a person's interest doesn't reciprocate that interest (or doesn't reciprocate anymore).

 

[Ramjet]

@Ramjet – Your post seems to go on and on in circles, questioning and overthinking everything and trying to push things around to make room (––possibility) for your desires. That's a lot of thought and emotional work to put into a new friendship when she already told you she isn't interested. At the beginning, romances should be easy and fun, and the two of you should gel.

The time you put into researching her MBTI type is admirable and I applaud your effort, but what she says matters more than her type description. People in their forties who've been in "the dating pool" for a while aren't likely to tell their potential matches they're not interested unless they mean it.

If it were me, I'd tell her how I feel and say if she ever changes her mind about dating, to text me... and then never expect such a text and walk away.

Put your energy toward new possibilities.





I do believe there is such a thing as friend-zoning and that it can happen to anyone regardless of gender. It doesn't mean anyone is to blame. It doesn't mean there is room for things to change. It's just when the object of a person's interest doesn't reciprocate that interest (or doesn't reciprocate anymore).

Yeah...that's kinda my 6 month plan. Get past the initial are you going to be "sare" / "dependable" background check phase.

If nothing has changed then as you say...tell her how I feel and the door is open on my side if she ever changes her mind.