Ever feel uncomfortable with the idea of someone being attracted to you?

VH said:
start telling people that we're an item when we are clearly not.
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Yeah, I've had that happen as well. It is a really awkward situation to be in, especially when people removed from it start asking how the relationship is going and you have no idea what they're talking about.
 
Mostly I act oblivious that they were interested in me. I put a shocked expression when they angrily confess their "love" for me.

This may seem like a bit selfish, but I usually like to be the one to do the asking to others. That way I'm more in control of what I need to say, and how I'm going to say it.
 
Lumi Spitsbergen said:
I hear all the time that guys hate it when girls give them bs about why they won't go out with them - that they'd rather hear that the girl just isn't attracted if that's the truth.
But this is a lie. There is no 'nice' way to tell a guy you don't feel the same way and won't go out with him.
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In my experience, people usually wish for discussion to be more direct, without all the posturing and sugar-coating. They just have to remain delicate by default because you never know if you're talking to one of the minority who can't handle plain talk.
I don't know how large your sample size is, but speaking for myself, I would much prefer to get a simple yes or no, and then proceed or move on accordingly. If you are speaking to a guy who thinks himself very attractive, then he might be slow to comprehend that a girl would not share his opinion (especially if he has not been turned down before), but I expect most average guys would not have that problem. Sure, a lot of people will have hurt feelings, but there's no way around that if they already have established feelings that are not reciprocated. If nothing will come of it, then it's best to end it as soon as possible.
 
Res said:
See . . . I'm kinda torn on this issue. ;) I was always one of the shy ones in school who had major crushes on the guy. I'd look and then giggle and whisper to my bestfriend about him :D
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Yes! That was totally me, and we had code names for my oh-so many crushes, ranging from Napoleon Dynamite to Quiznos. lol
 
I usually don't. I am usually flattered. However, if it gets out of hand it can start to get annoying. I wouldn't say it makes me uncomfortable, just frustrated.
 
TheLastMohican said:
In my experience, people usually wish for discussion to be more direct, without all the posturing and sugar-coating. They just have to remain delicate by default because you never know if you're talking to one of the minority who can't handle plain talk.
I don't know how large your sample size is, but speaking for myself, I would much prefer to get a simple yes or no, and then proceed or move on accordingly. If you are speaking to a guy who thinks himself very attractive, then he might be slow to comprehend that a girl would not share his opinion (especially if he has not been turned down before), but I expect most average guys would not have that problem. Sure, a lot of people will have hurt feelings, but there's no way around that if they already have established feelings that are not reciprocated. If nothing will come of it, then it's best to end it as soon as possible.
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I am a simple yes or no kind of girl. I just don't have it in me to sugar-coat things or play the avoidance game if the issue is out there. This doesn't really have anything to do with the guy's feelings (though I do feel awkward about letting anyone down).
I just usually either want to resolve or extricate myself from the situation asap. As long as it's up in the air I feel like that guy has some sort of tie to me - and if I'm not into him I want to nip that in the bud. I value the ephemeral qualities of my freedom. However if I am into him I don't want to waste time - so it's an immediate yes.

A few times I have played the aviodance game when the guy just didn't take no for an answer though. But I don't let myself worry about it too much.

However - I can give "no" nicely. It doesn't always (usually) help, but sometimes I come across some pretty understanding guys who just appreciate someone being straight-up in a nice way.
 
it's flattering, but yes, if i don't feel the same way it can make things slightly awkward.
 
I am not a bad person

I have been guilty of enjoying attentions (and encouraging them devilishly) without any
intention of "fruition". There is an amoral subpersonality swimming beneath my surface who likes to pop up now and again.
 
Apostelytizer said:
I have been guilty of enjoying attentions (and encouraging them devilishly) without any
intention of "fruition". There is an amoral subpersonality swimming beneath my surface who likes to pop up now and again.
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I do too, now that I'm no longer as shy.
Nothing wrong with a little flirting is what I say!
 
Apostelytizer said:
I have been guilty of enjoying attentions (and encouraging them devilishly) without any
intention of "fruition". There is an amoral subpersonality swimming beneath my surface who likes to pop up now and again.
Click to expand...

Yeah, it's nice when someone shows interest. I think when i started the thread, i was thinking more about instances in which it can feel awkward or uncomfortable.
 
It doesn't bother me, as long as I don't feel pressured into anything.

But honestly, I wouldn't even know they liked me ... I tend to either not notice or not take them seriously unless they declare it outright (and even then, I doubt their sincerity).



I definitely wouldn't say this mindset is ideal ... I'm trying to be less cynical about this sort of thing because I think it gives me a warped view of the world.
 
It is very flattering to me but when they do not know me and are only attracted to me on a superficial level then I feel really uncomfortable. If it is someone that knows me and I do not feel the same then I feel horrible. This actually happened recently with my bestfriend, it was a very difficult time for me as I struggled to maintain the friendship and still do, it gets better with time though.
 
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