Fortunately / Unfortunately

[Night Owl]

Unfortunately, this small part, as it was growing, was contaminated by an uranium spill.

You bum! I was trying to get rid of this blasted star fish hahah.

 

[Siimplicity]

Alas, by fortune's grace, this predicament lent naught but fortitude to the small part and it grew at accelerated pace and became the strongest and most powerful of all the mutant starfish race!

 

[Night Owl]

You lovely wretch! The starfish endures! By vocalising my wish to kill it, it will never die!

Unfortunately the uranium spill also contaminated a jellyfish who became the size of a blue whale, and whose favourite food was starfish - especially gigantic, mutant starfish.

 

[Milktoast Bandit]

You lovely wretch! The starfish endures! By vocalising my wish to kill it, it will never die!

Unfortunately the uranium spill also contaminated a jellyfish who became the size of a blue whale, and whose favourite food was starfish - especially gigantic, mutant starfish.

Fortunately, the gigantic mutant starfish was chopped into a great many pieces by a passing boats propeller.

The great many pieces all grew into an aquatic gaggle of gigantic mutant starfish. Far too many for one blue whale sized jellyfish to eat.

 

[Night Owl]

I was excited at first, and then I was bitterly disappointed!! You slimy dingo!

Unfortunately the giant mutant jellyfish had many babies, and these did not inherent the recessive trait of being gigantic, but rather inherited the dominant trait of being small. Thousands of these baby jelly went forth and ate all the great many gaggle of star fish, until there was none left.
,

 

[Milktoast Bandit]

I was excited at first, and then I was bitterly disappointed!! You slimy dingo!

Unfortunately the giant mutant jellyfish had many babies, and these did not inherent the recessive trait of being gigantic, but rather inherited the dominant trait of being small. Thousands of these baby jelly went forth and ate all the great many gaggle of star fish, until there was none left.
,

Fortunately the starfish began regenerating within the baby jelly fish before they could be dissolved. The new and improved starfish ripped through all the jellies and smiled down upon a lonely, sad @Night Owl who was crying on the shore.

 

[Littlelissa]

Unfortunately the starfish fell over on the shore, not used to standing on one arm.

But fortunately the tearful owl was so surprised and tickled to see a smiling starfish...suddenly a thought occurred to him and he forgot his tears and picked the small starfish up.

The thought that occurred to him was, well if this Star Fish can smile, maybe he can talk as well, I wonder what he could tell me about living in the sea?

Unfortunately the Start Fish stopped smiling because he was running out of air, and couldn't breath, fortunately wise Owl, realised what was happening,- and having picked him up with one cumbersome claw and a bent beak, unceremoniously hopped closer to the sea.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

Fortunately, the tide went out and life returned to normal by the seaside.

 

[j654dgj7]

Unfortunately we don't know when it will come back.

 

[Krypton]

Fortunately, runaway global warming ensured that the tide would come back in spades.

 

[Tin Man]

Unfortunately global warming didn't completely wipe out humanity,

 

[Flavus Aquila]

Fortunately, it did wipe out having to drive on icy roads.

 

[Krypton]

Unfortunately, your asshole boss would therefore not die in a car crash.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

Fortunately, he's giving you a promotion.

 

[Gust]

Unfortunately, you lived in limited-income housing, and due to your promotion, you are now homeless.

 

[Eventhorizon]

Fortunately on the same day, aliens destroyed the earth so you didn't have to worry about it for long.