Good News / Bad News (part 2)

Its a brand new nokia 3210 with polyphonic ringtones and the awesome snake game!

Im watching the walking dead
 
Which attracts a 5000 strong swarm of bees that surround your house making your garden inaccessible. You never see it again.

Im having an early night
 
But I can't sleep.

Someone saved my life
 
and slowly getting lung cancer from the smoke.

I'm going to start a small vegetable garden...
 
But you're stuck in bed with the flu

I made a new friend
 
til you were struck down by a roving pack of horizontal quadrupeds.
I cleaned out my email inbox :)
 
But they wilted while you were at work.

I found a $50 bill at a deserted beach, and kept it...
 
but the bill was marked so when you tried to spend it, they threw you in the slammer for gun running.

I watched the greatest documentary last weekend...
 
But you were paid in Monopoly money!

I have an unexpected night off from work...
 
but the food you want always gives you diarrhoea.

I just bought a new cat-toy for the local cat.
 
And it scratched your face when you gave it to him

I won first prize in a sweepstake
 
The prize was an all expenses paid week in Syria

I'm drinking posh coffee
 
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