Has the field of psychology failed men?

[hush]

This made me think of something. One of my exes had a rather pronounced tendency to punch walls before we got together, and he punched them so hard he blasted right through each time, making craters. He would patch them up but you'd come over and you might see 5, 6, 7, gaping craters in the walls. I'm not sure exactly when it stopped, maybe a year or two before we became more than friends

Everyone who observed this, observed it purely as violence and anger, him being unable to control himself. But they missed a very important point, the most important point. He wasn't punching a human being. He wasn't punching anything that would suffer or feel pain. The only one harmed in the process was himself. He could have turned his fists onto someone else, but he didn't. Imagine the sort of unbearable internal agony one must be experiencing to feel the need to let it out in this way

This image is very correct. Self-harm comes in many forms (this topic is rather important to me, I have written an essay about it) beyond the most obvious ones. Hardly anyone talks about it either, you tend to find very little understanding on the subject from others. A source of frustration for me is people most commonly pointing at self-harm as a bid for attention, and it can be - there is nothing wrong with this - it's just that it's typically so much more than that. For many, a feeling of a loss of control tops the list. Or their internal pain is so unbearable, they create physical pain to distract from it. It's easier to tend to a physical wound, than it is to tend to one that comes from within

And that's what it is. Wounded, in need of healing. The thought of how many people might benefit from counseling who go without it because their symptoms aren't identified as symptoms is crushing.

 

[John K]

This image is very correct. Self-harm comes in many forms (this topic is rather important to me, I have written an essay about it) beyond the most obvious ones.

This is very well observed hush. One of the more subtle and damaging ways people can self harm is by tying themselves to others who are badly dysfunctional. I sometimes think that we can try to sublimate our own problems by immersing ourselves in those of another. It becomes like a drug though that needs bigger and bigger doses until something breaks badly.

 

[hush]

This is very well observed hush. One of the more subtle and damaging ways people can self harm is by tying themselves to others who are badly dysfunctional. I sometimes think that we can try to sublimate our own problems by immersing ourselves in those of another. It becomes like a drug though that needs bigger and bigger doses until something breaks badly.

I think this might be a large part of what brought me to where I am today. I tied myself to two such individuals for 5 years, and on the other end of it all I find that I am now badly dysfunctional. I did break, sort of still breaking a little bit. But I'm putting myself back together at the same time, piece by piece

 

[John K]

I think this might be a large part of what brought me to where I am today. I tied myself to two such individuals for 5 years, and on the other end of it all I find that I am now badly dysfunctional. I did break, sort of still breaking a little bit. But I'm putting myself back together at the same time, piece by piece

I feel there is a lot of healing going on in or behind what you are posting. If feels like you are headed in a good direction

 

[aeon]

 

[Wyote]

I spent a fair amount of time years ago deprogramming myself from a lot of this stuff
Just one more data point that puts me well outside social norms
It's unfortunate that my mere existence is triggering for so many
But I don't lose sleep over it

"Within every man is the spirit of The David"