In my mind she is a good mom but not the best single mom. If that makes sense. There are those moms who somehow do a great job being a single mom. Balancing being the only income, manage the entire household and make time for their kids. She does most of that well but not all of it. She has the qualities I look for in a spouse but those qualities typically translate to not being that all-star single mom. It's one half of the parent equation.
To be completely honest, I'm kind of old school and it may get me some heat but it's just what I like. Nothing against anything else, it's just what I prefer. The traditional "house wife" appeals to me. Someone who enjoys the task of running and managing a household and family. Someone who takes pride in that and doesn't see it as lesser to being the career oriented person. There was an article I read awhile back about a man posting that he couldn't afford his wife. He calculated all the hours she spent cleaning, taking care of the kids, amount they saved in day care, etc... by her being a stay at home mom and I think it came out to around $70,000 per year. That is right in lines with my perspective on it. I grew up in a very ambitious household so I basically was raised each year by a different adult as we shifted from one nanny to the next to grand parents and other family. It taught me a lot and one thing it taught me it is highly important to have at least one parent whose main focus isn't making money.
So to use simple descriptions. I look for someone who is nurturing, sensitive, emotionally stable, kind, patient, flexible, fun, energetic and creative. A lot of people imagine me being with a very ambitious girl and being some type of power couple considering the way I come across but I find myself more attracted to the sweet, reserved, quirky, nerdy, girl next door type. Someone who really enjoys spending time with their kids doing things like art projects, going to the park, carving pumpkins, baking cookies, etc... Someone that really encourages their growth as individuals and allows them to be children. Essentially, what I want for my kids is what I didn't have. I will manage the bills, bring in most of the income, build a solid foundation, provide structure, set expectations, keep everything working, make terrible dad jokes, embarrass the hell out of my kids, and yell at the refs at my kids games. I can see myself in a middle-class home, shirtless, covered in tattoos, wearing floral swimming trunks and bright pink crocs with long white socks while mowing the lawn simply with the intention of making my kids never want to associate with me ever again. So I look for someone who rounds out my rough edges.
Does my girlfriend at this moment fit into that mold completely? No but can I see it? Yeah, if she wants it. If it is something she imagines herself being is more important than what I see in her. Which is why we talk about it. She knows what I want and I know mostly what she wants. They tend to be pretty similar. Truth be told, I haven't met a girl yet at my age who is what I am looking for, right now but they could be there in 3 to 5 years. Again, we are young. Most girls my age are just finishing college and are figuring out what they want just as I am. From what we have talked about, our ideas and desires as far as raising a family goes fit well together. Of course they come from picturing an ideal situation and it may not work that way but we do have similar goals.
