Life is a game. It doesn't mean it's not serious or meaningful. Games played in this world can be extremely dangerous or fun; but they are games none the less.
Brilliant. This, and the rest of the post as well.
Cheers,
Ian
Life is a game. It doesn't mean it's not serious or meaningful. Games played in this world can be extremely dangerous or fun; but they are games none the less.
I’m sure everyone does this from time to time, and where division is found. Hoping for peace for you.Watching Batman as a kid, and Superman, has had lingering thought patterns.
How many here have done things to help people and kept out of the limelight purposefully? How many have used their gifts and kept their gift to themselves?
How many have allowed people to use and take advantage of them, knowing they are, and kept quiet and mild? How many of those like this have ever been a walking time bomb? If so, do you have a limit? Can you react in a way nobody else would know it was you?
How many know things they do not share? Are we still an introvert wearing a mask? How many are like the Hulk? We keep our secrets, and may react in a way our secrets will not be revealed. When we are taken advantage of, we may act a little quietly. Should we reveal ourselves? I personally think not. I think we should keep a cap on the volcano until it erupts, because we can mostly contain it.
Yet, as happens every now and then, we can become as tornadoes or hurricanes. We may not realize the intensity within ourselves. Maybe someone is trying to get us to explode? I think that would be something should be given a lot of thought.
I pray for help, but there have been times when whatever it is within us cannot be contained any longer.
I'm praying.
Being a very spiritual infj and an adult one(old), I see self-sacrifice as a large part of my being. Maybe the wisdom I have studied helped to mold me like this.
Yet, as happens every now and then, we can become as tornadoes or hurricanes. We may not realize the intensity within ourselves. Maybe someone is trying to get us to explode? I think that would be something should be given a lot of thought.
It's just that we aren't perfect, and we all carry a mixture of light and dark within us - it can take a lifetime to find out who we really are for ourselves, let alone share it with someone else. Part of the consequence of The Fall is that out conscious minds claim kingship over the whole of us, but really my conscious self is just part of a team and not always in the lead role in the story of who I really am.I often wonder when we will become who we are.
I get this. Sensors never seem to wonder about your layers. They have no concept. They get confused from time to time when you get deep about something, but they never understand. I feel invisible with these types of friends. They can be the nicest, but there’s always something lacking for me.The thing that bugs me is how sensors tend to think they know us, when they really don’t have much clue. You’d think they would find us a mystery, but maybe we contribute to their false impressions via our chamaeleon natures.
How many know things they do not share?
I often oscillate between times of hopeless depressive thinking and hopeful joyous dreams. It often feels like being at a crossroads but not knowing which way to go. Seeking truth but also love. Is it fear versus hope or logic versus feeling? Ren says on the back of his book that much of the INFJ predicament is that we are at a cognitive crossroads. We seek the best path in a complex world, and this can be so perplexing when ego, past bitterness and self pity can play a big part in preventing us making good decisions or avoiding them altogether (not really possible though).It's just that we aren't perfect, and we all carry a mixture of light and dark within us - it can take a lifetime to find out who we really are for ourselves, let alone share it with someone else. Part of the consequence of The Fall is that out conscious minds claim kingship over the whole of us, but really my conscious self is just part of a team and not always in the lead role in the story of who I really am.
What this means is that what we think we ought to be and to do is not necessarily at all easy to accomplish, and we can find the other parts of our mind, those we are not in charge of absolutely, can rebel, and derail things against our will. Personally, when I reach my limits and compassion fatigue sets in, I can either blow up in anger, or collapse into depression.
I think that the heart of Christianity understands this at its very centre. Knowing we are imperfect, incomplete and finite is part of being human, and we will go wrong even with the best of intentions. The message to forgive, not seven times but seventy times seven, applies to ourselves as well as to others. I think what is wanted of us is that we try, that we mess up sometimes and we learn from that, then we pick ourselves up and try again but using the learning we gained from the mess up. And we repeat as often as we mess up again - which we will. All the time we travel this road, we learn about ourselves, who we are and what we can do, and we have an increasing power to help others within our limits as a result, and an increasing ability to share who we are with others too.
I'm not sure if I'm fully understanding where you are just me, but I love the metaphor of The Hulk you quoted because it's so expressive. Batman is another good one, because his virtue is a compensation for his hidden inner darkness. Don't beat yourself up if you are trying, but blowing up sometimes, or derailing in some other way. From what you have said, you are trying but hitting snags - I think God is delighted when we have a go and he doesn't expect perfection. He wants us to learn from each situation and then keep on trying. I know from my own experience that I learn far more about myself, others and Him from the things that have gone wrong.
I'm taking a bit of a guess here, so I hope I've not misunderstood.
Totally. And it means they often misinterpret our motives, which adds to our insecurities and existential alienation. This leaves us lonelier than if we had never interacted with them in the first place.I get this. Sensors never seem to wonder about your layers. They have no concept. They get confused from time to time when you get deep about something, but they never understand. I feel invisible with these types of friends. They can be the nicest, but there’s always something lacking for me.
I resonate so strongly with your words. It’s like discovering treasure but others have no interest in it, or can’t see the value in it. A special kind of hell is not being understood by those we want to help. But it’s important to remember the situation is not binary. We can be ‘seen’ and valued. Just takes time and the right people usually.One of the hardest things for me right now is that I have learned an immense amount of things in a short amount of time, the hard way, and that I can’t share that information because nobody wants to believe it. And if anyone would want to know, they still might not take my advice.
And as an INFJ, I really need to save everyone, right? Imagine how useless or underutilized an INFJ can feel amongst those who have different ways and values.
So true, @John K.I think that the heart of Christianity understands this at its very centre. Knowing we are imperfect, incomplete and finite is part of being human, and we will go wrong even with the best of intentions. The message to forgive, not seven times but seventy times seven, applies to ourselves as well as to others. I think what is wanted of us is that we try, that we mess up sometimes and we learn from that, then we pick ourselves up and try again but using the learning we gained from the mess up. And we repeat as often as we mess up again - which we will. All the time we travel this road, we learn about ourselves, who we are and what we can do, and we have an increasing power to help others within our limits as a result, and an increasing ability to share who we are with others too.
I just joined and this is my first post reading… ty?Watching Batman as a kid, and Superman, has had lingering thought patterns.
How many here have done things to help people and kept out of the limelight purposefully? How many have used their gifts and kept their gift to themselves?
How many have allowed people to use and take advantage of them, knowing they are, and kept quiet and mild? How many of those like this have ever been a walking time bomb? If so, do you have a limit? Can you react in a way nobody else would know it was you?
How many know things they do not share? Are we still an introvert wearing a mask? How many are like the Hulk? We keep our secrets, and may react in a way our secrets will not be revealed. When we are taken advantage of, we may act a little quietly. Should we reveal ourselves? I personally think not. I think we should keep a cap on the volcano until it erupts, because we can mostly contain it.
Yet, as happens every now and then, we can become as tornadoes or hurricanes. We may not realize the intensity within ourselves. Maybe someone is trying to get us to explode? I think that would be something should be given a lot of thought.
I pray for help, but there have been times when whatever it is within us cannot be contained any longer.
I'm praying.
I agree. Games are supposed to be fun, and I know how to play games. I don’t condone playing games with peoples emotions though just to elicit a response- not in a serious manner anyway. I just don’t understand that or why anyone would do that except for “evil”- self gratification, but why at the expense of another’s turmoil? I just don’t understand, and believe me I have triedBrilliant. This, and the rest of the post as well.
Cheers,
Ian
The only thing I can think of is that maybe the person “targeted” isn’t liked very well or in high regard with the “perpetrator? I’m not THAT sensitive. Period Right???I agree. Games are supposed to be fun, and I know how to play games. I don’t condone playing games with peoples emotions though just to elicit a response- not in a serious manner anyway. I just don’t understand that or why anyone would do that except for “evil”- self gratification, but why at the expense of another’s turmoil? I just don’t understand, and believe me I have tried
This really resonates with me.I read this post and reflected on it, surprisingly over the years I have become more and more like most people and I don't really hide much and have a more consistent personalty, because the stuff I know is of less value than I thought it meant. I work with another INFJ sometimes and I'm considerably older, and it is kind of crazy to see your own though patterns played out in front of you but by someone else. I don't particularly get a long with her, and I'd probably just freak the crap out of her if I somehow told her I was INFJ (she could well be on these forums). As I have picked up mindfulness practices what I have found is that I was undervaluing myself a lot and that I tended to build a personality around being different, the problem is when you build a personality like that you develop bad patterns and ones that undervalue yourself even if it's just out of non-conformance with the typical western personality.
When I started to let stuff go in mindfulness practices I realised that I actually didn't want to let go of my maladaptive patterns because they had actually become a part of "me", it was kinda twisted. Similarly with those things we just "pickup" and read other minds, and things like avoiding embarrassment of others etc. Ultimately, it's their fight and it's their lesson to learn. But I see the patterns still on this INFJ acquaintance, and of course I'm still far from perfect. I would say it really does go deep and it really often does have something to do with the way you treat yourself and subsequently the type of people you attract and how they treat you. I can literally overlap an experience I had with the INFJ at work where I simply had to walk away because I couldn't deal with her "stuff" that simply had nothing to do with the present moment and it almost perfectly mimicked an interaction I had with a colleague years ago where he just gave up and walked off. Value is interconnected with the sense of self, which is pretty much what all INFJ's struggle with.
Anyway, I'm not trying to blame you our project my crap on to you but just something to consider.
I have an issue with the idea of "hiding oneself" because it carries a connotation that most or all people are inauthentic, regardless of type, and complete openness and transparency of individuals is preferable. Life is a game. It doesn't mean it's not serious or meaningful. Games played in this world can be extremely dangerous or fun; but they are games none the less. I think people do what they do in life and are who they are, not necessarily because they want to be but because they have to be. And if it requires tailoring one's own style of expression to not draw unwanted/unneeded attention to oneself, to fit the cultural furniture, to carry-on, then fine. I don't see this as dishonest or inauthentic(and especially not in a harmful way), but I see it as necessary for reaching means and ends within established boundaries.
I have come to also expect that hardly anyone will really know who you are, but it is not something particular to being an INFJ - to me this is how life is. Most people do this, whether they are fully aware of it or not, and it makes a lot of sense. What is particular to the INFJ, imo, is the style and the level of cognizance that an INFJ has over these matters. The only types that I have felt totally authentic with, and who I felt totally understood by, are INTPs and INTJs. They actually can see me as I am, and it's totally clear. And it's an impersonal yet mutually understood form of acceptance too. Perhaps I could say INFJ too, but I don't know any other INFJs outside of the forum; but I get that vibe sometimes from other INFJs too. The only difference with INFJs(and sometimes with INTJs) is I get a feeling of not wanting to disturb them, and it's out of respect. [From an outside perspective] INFJs seem so focused on their perspective, and they could be right and often are, that I hesitate to share much because it feels like "they already know". Also, INFJs tend to get lost in the actual words or style being conveyed and can miss the message[and I confess of being guilty of this too]. But I do appreciate their patience and willingness at times to listen(which I'm thinking may be one of their greater strengths). But overall, I believe we are all, more or less, on our own having to navigate through life situations.
Another note: I also believe culture and cultural expectations play a huge role in this authenticity question, and this aspect doesn't get enough consideration, imo. I find that you can say the very same message in a number of different ways, but people will tend to understand it or care to hear it differently depending on the style and context of its delivery. Does changing your mode of expression change who you are or what you are about? Not really, but I think, similar to when translating from one language to another, a lot of the impact, flavor, and richness gets watered down or lost in the process of translation.