muir
Banned
- MBTI
- INFJ
How do you feel about cat calling?
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
Brace yourself for potentially unpopular and abrasive opinions. Just thoughts and not necessarily beliefs.
@Op I think cat calling is a compliment in a strong woman's eyes and a threat in a weak ones. It is probably an annoyance in the vast majority of women's eyes.
I think it is generally a cry for attention from a weak man who wants to show off in a "hehe look bros at what I did. I am so confident and outgoing and unafraid. She's so into me and if she isn't she should be."
I think it has no place in a society I want to be a part of.
That said a victim mentality is worse than the oppressor in my eyes. Self defense is permitted and if humanity is a pack then discipline isn't bad.
If humans are individuals then self defense is sincerely encouraged.
@Op I think cat calling is a compliment in a strong woman's eyes and a threat in a weak ones. It is probably an annoyance in the vast majority of women's eyes.
I think it is generally a cry for attention from a weak man who wants to show off in a "hehe look bros at what I did. I am so confident and outgoing and unafraid. She's so into me and if she isn't she should be."
I think it has no place in a society I want to be a part of.
That said a victim mentality is worse than the oppressor in my eyes. Self defense is permitted and if humanity is a pack then discipline isn't bad.
If humans are individuals then self defense is sincerely encouraged.
muir
Banned
- MBTI
- INFJ
'Self defence'?
So what is self defence against verbal attention seeking?
Do you shout something back or do you pull out your glock and pump them with lead? Can you please clarify this issue?
[MENTION=1871]muir[/MENTION] people ought to have respect for other's personal space and feelings.
This is conjecture since I personally don't have problems with people disrespecting me but some people may feel threatened when others hit on them or cat call at them.
How do animals react when they are threatened? Fight or flight generally so I'm just offering a view on things.
We are the apex animal on earth so I feel like we should never feel threatened or afraid. Its not like fear helps you anyway. Even if there were some alien race that had vastly more advanced technology fear wouldn't help you.
So this confidence on earth certainly applies.
If an astray human wants to pose a threat to another then they will have to deal with the consequences. Maybe they will learn to get along with the rest of humanity.
This is conjecture since I personally don't have problems with people disrespecting me but some people may feel threatened when others hit on them or cat call at them.
How do animals react when they are threatened? Fight or flight generally so I'm just offering a view on things.
We are the apex animal on earth so I feel like we should never feel threatened or afraid. Its not like fear helps you anyway. Even if there were some alien race that had vastly more advanced technology fear wouldn't help you.
So this confidence on earth certainly applies.
If an astray human wants to pose a threat to another then they will have to deal with the consequences. Maybe they will learn to get along with the rest of humanity.
muir
Banned
- MBTI
- INFJ
Then a woman should choose flight
If she chooses fight then it will likely end badly for her as she might be attacked back or she might be charged with assault
Some things are worth fighting for. Respect is one of them in my opinion.
Fight in a literal sense is generally not the best option in such a situation but confrontation isn't always bad. Fighting for something doesn't necessarily mean physical confrontation.
I'm not sure people should let others treat them badly. Obviously this doesn't apply in all cat calling situations but sometimes a weaker subject is treated poorly. That's not ok in my opinion.
muir
Banned
- MBTI
- INFJ
The streets are going to get less and less safe over the coming years
Advising women to become more confrontational is a bad idea
Stay safe, keep your tits to yourself and don't walk alone in unsafe areas particularly at night
muir
Banned
- MBTI
- INFJ
So....a news story about a student being stabbed after confronting a cat caller...
current muir: But 'muir from the past' didn't you tell people weeks ago that people shouldn't confront cat callers as it was dangerous, in the post above?
muir from the past: Well yes i did say that and i got the usual kind of abuse i get when i say these things that then become reality
current muir: So does it happen a lot that you say things on the forum that then happen in reality?
muir from the past: oh yes all the time and most of the time when i'm first saying it people call me crazy and stuff
current muir: well you do have to admit that speaking to your past self is a bit unusual?
muir from the past: well yes but you did start the conversation...
current muir: fair enough....but it does make a point
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...o-stop-catcalling-his-girlfriend-9876174.html
Student stabbed nine times 'for asking man to stop catcalling his girlfriend'
Ben Schwartz suffered a punctured lung and needed 60 stitches
Heather Saul
Friday 21 November 2014
[TD="align: left"] | [TD="align: left"] | [TD="align: left"] | [TD="align: left"] | [TD="align: left"] | [TD="class: gig-button-td"] [TD="align: left"] |
A man was stabbed nine times in a brutal attack after allegedly asking a man to stop catcalling his girlfriend.
Ben Schwartz was assaulted in the early hours of Saturday morning as he walked home from a gathering with his girlfriend and friend.
During their journey home, the 31-year-old advertising student and waiter asked a man to stop catcalling his girlfriend, SF Gate reports.
The man allegedly responded by stabbing him in the face, back and neck, and Schwartz had to be rushed to a San Francisco hospital for emergency surgery on a punctured lung. Wounds on his arm also required 60 stiches, while those on his back reportedly narrowly missed his spinal cord.
The unidentified suspect sped away in a Sedan and has not yet been apprehended by police.
His friend Daniela Saavedra told SF Gate: “All he said was, 'Can you please just stop?
“The man then sort of trailed behind them, and that’s when he attacked.”
The assault comes just weeks after the viral Hollaback catcalling video was released, highlighting the street harassment experienced by women in New York.
An actress highlights the unwanted attention she receives in New York City - she has now allegedly received rape threats. Actress Shoshana Roberts and her friend Rob Bliss secretly filmed men hounding her as she walked around New York for ten hours.
Schwartz has now been released from hospital and his friends are raising money to cover his living costs and medical bills via a GoFundMe page. The page has already raised almost $20,000 (£12,774).
One friend wrote on the fundraising page: “He is there when you need a good laugh, a hug, or even just someone to listen to you. It’s shocking to think something like this could happen to such an amazing person.”
“That is why we are trying to raise money to help Ben and his girlfriend Miyoko get through these tough times. Every little bit helps!”
[TD="align: left"] | [TD="align: left"] | [TD="align: left"] | [TD="align: left"] |
La Sagna
I did it! I'm a butterfly!
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 9
So....a news story about a student being stabbed after confronting a cat caller...
current muir: But 'muir from the past' didn't you tell people weeks ago that people shouldn't confront cat callers as it was dangerous, in the post above?
muir from the past: Well yes i did say that and i got the usual kind of abuse i get when i say these things that then become reality
current muir: So does it happen a lot that you say things on the forum that then happen in reality?
muir from the past: oh yes all the time and most of the time when i'm first saying it people call me crazy and stuff
current muir: well you do have to admit that speaking to your past self is a bit unusual?
muir from the past: well yes but you did start the conversation...
current muir: fair enough....but it does make a point
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...o-stop-catcalling-his-girlfriend-9876174.html
Student stabbed nine times 'for asking man to stop catcalling his girlfriend'
Ben Schwartz suffered a punctured lung and needed 60 stitches
Heather Saul
Friday 21 November 2014
[TD="align: left"]
[TD="align: left"]
[TD="align: left"]
[TD="align: left"]
[TD="align: left"]
[TD="class: gig-button-td"]
[TD="align: left"][/TD]
[/TD]
[/TD]
[/TD]
[/TD]
[/TD]
A man was stabbed nine times in a brutal attack after allegedly asking a man to stop catcalling his girlfriend.
Ben Schwartz was assaulted in the early hours of Saturday morning as he walked home from a gathering with his girlfriend and friend.
During their journey home, the 31-year-old advertising student and waiter asked a man to stop catcalling his girlfriend, SF Gate reports.
The man allegedly responded by stabbing him in the face, back and neck, and Schwartz had to be rushed to a San Francisco hospital for emergency surgery on a punctured lung. Wounds on his arm also required 60 stiches, while those on his back reportedly narrowly missed his spinal cord.
The unidentified suspect sped away in a Sedan and has not yet been apprehended by police.
His friend Daniela Saavedra told SF Gate: “All he said was, 'Can you please just stop?
“The man then sort of trailed behind them, and that’s when he attacked.”
The assault comes just weeks after the viral Hollaback catcalling video was released, highlighting the street harassment experienced by women in New York.
An actress highlights the unwanted attention she receives in New York City - she has now allegedly received rape threats. Actress Shoshana Roberts and her friend Rob Bliss secretly filmed men hounding her as she walked around New York for ten hours.
Schwartz has now been released from hospital and his friends are raising money to cover his living costs and medical bills via a GoFundMe page. The page has already raised almost $20,000 (£12,774).
One friend wrote on the fundraising page: “He is there when you need a good laugh, a hug, or even just someone to listen to you. It’s shocking to think something like this could happen to such an amazing person.”
“That is why we are trying to raise money to help Ben and his girlfriend Miyoko get through these tough times. Every little bit helps!”
[TD="align: left"]
[TD="align: left"]
[TD="align: left"]
[TD="align: left"]
[/TD]
[/TD]
[/TD]
I don't know if that is what you are intending to do but you usually sound like you are blaming the victim. A man should be able to say to somebody "can you please just stop" and not be stabbed for it.
muir
Banned
- MBTI
- INFJ
Nope not blaming the victim
But not going to indulge in wishful non-thinking either
If people are acting up in the street then there is something going wrong there
If you confront them you are potentially confronting an unstable person
Is there a fixed number of people who are prone to cat calling in our species or do rates of cat-calling increase and decrease at different times in history?
If you believe that the number of cat callers is not genetically hard wired and that it can change depending on factors like cultural pressures and environmental factors and so on then you can look at my posts in this thread as an exploration of those factors that might be causing a spike in cat calling at this time (and in what might be causing an increase in societal instability)
muir
Banned
- MBTI
- INFJ
I don't know why she's frustrated the solution is easy...she should cover up a little...those shorts are practically knickers!
You don't see men wearing shorts that ride right up their butt crack!
Do you know why men don't wear shorts that ride right up their butt crack? Its because they don't want people to stare at them and make comments
If women are sick of unwanted attention from sex starved men they should wage war against the sexualisation of society and against the forces that are sexualising our society and they should take responsibility for what they are putting out there in terms of body language communication
This sort of reminder makes me so glad that I live in the UK, where men of all classes are quite respectful towards women and their flirtations are much subtler. However, when I was in Italy, the same sort of harassment happened to me all the time and that kind of thing is quite common there as well as guide books usually let women know that you should learn how to say "Stop following me or I'll call the police!"
I did visit NYC for a few months and just going on the subway was a hassle with men overtly staring and you and talking about you in front of them. Even security guards at universities would engage in catcalling! There is an inherent culture in NYC where ppl feel perfectly ok talking to strangers, both men and women. In the few months I was there, I learned to avoid catcalls by wearing large headphones and listening to music everywhere I went. If in a café or another Venue where this happens, usually being polite gets rids of unwanted attention. Graciously accepting compliments, even if crass, then saying I have a bf and wishing them a good day avoids negative attention.
In Italy, men do follow you around if you respond to their catcalls, so best to ignore them altogether.
I did visit NYC for a few months and just going on the subway was a hassle with men overtly staring and you and talking about you in front of them. Even security guards at universities would engage in catcalling! There is an inherent culture in NYC where ppl feel perfectly ok talking to strangers, both men and women. In the few months I was there, I learned to avoid catcalls by wearing large headphones and listening to music everywhere I went. If in a café or another Venue where this happens, usually being polite gets rids of unwanted attention. Graciously accepting compliments, even if crass, then saying I have a bf and wishing them a good day avoids negative attention.
In Italy, men do follow you around if you respond to their catcalls, so best to ignore them altogether.
Switchgirl
ON and OFF mode
- MBTI
- INFp-Fe
- Enneagram
- 9w1 sx/sp
[video=youtube;ls6-ZYSZoDM]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls6-ZYSZoDM[/video]
Homosexuals have it pretty bad.
Homosexuals have it pretty bad.
littlemissmaya
Regular Poster
- MBTI
- INFJ
one of my male friends does it every now and then but i know him well and i just laugh or smile or joke with him. can't say i've experienced cat calls out in the wild - but then i will usually have my earphones on if walking alone from a to b... but then i do recall honks, smiles and glances from guys in cars - once from tradesmen in a ute (pick up truck) while i was in jogging mode (and purple hair) and the other from a guy in a ferrari while i had finished crossing the pedestrian crossing! i just glanced and smiled back and treated it as a well-meaning compliment.
Kaleidoscopic
Community Member
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- Type 9
I was looking for this, I don't know what to do, it's so frustrating. I like dressing nice but I don't do it for those guys. This days I get cat called too much, even when I go with family. Alone I get an average of four cat callers in 20 minutes, almost everytime I go out. I'm glad I live in a small city or it could be worse.
j654dgj7
Please delete this account.
- MBTI
- XXXX
You must be really hot.
In all seriousness, cat calling must be frightening! Bullies that you don't know yelling at you...
Kaleidoscopic
Community Member
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- Type 9
[MENTION=5601]ezra[/MENTION]
I don't think I'm hot, I'm probably average but even then it wouldn't be right. I saw those guys again I guess they work nearby, I'm thinking about answering something instead of ignoring them if I'm going to see them everytime pass by. But I don't what I can say, I'm really petite so they'll probably won't take me seriously.
I don't think I'm hot, I'm probably average but even then it wouldn't be right. I saw those guys again I guess they work nearby, I'm thinking about answering something instead of ignoring them if I'm going to see them everytime pass by. But I don't what I can say, I'm really petite so they'll probably won't take me seriously.