How do you know someone is INFP?

alt ctrl del said:
Extremely idealistic, slightly unhinged, sensitive and melancholy. I can usually tell in conversation because the speech is meandering and passionate flitting from one idea to the next and then back again.
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This sounds very much like me, especially, but not limited to, the "slightly unhinged" descriptor.
 
I remember talking with an INFP just online and on the phone, but he generally just kept the conversation to the same things that would frustrate him about his family and his x girlfriends. I felt he lacked empathy even if he was gifted in feeling. I seemed to end up playing the part in the conversations of the explainer of why they were possibly the way they were.

It took me sensing for the other people who he was complaining about and of whom I'd never met, to try and offer some explamation as to why they were they way they were. Also, it took me asking questions about them and about him that had him replying to me; "yea, how did you know?" and "hmmm, I never thought of that... they make more sense to me now" etc. that I felt incompatible with having a possible relationship with this guy.

It caused me to view him as less worldly that I felt I was (am), and I felt frustrated at his wishy washy conclusions and whinings.

I am not assuming or suggesting that all or most INFP's are like him, he is simply the only one I know for sure that I can go by.
 
Why did you allow him to control the conversation?
 
alt ctrl del said:
Why did you allow him to control the conversation?
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I don't think I allowed him to control the conversation, I was trying to convey his lack of compatibility to me and of my impression of him. I seemed to spend a lot of time trying to help him figure out the people who he couldn't understand. In my own way, it was my way of determining for myself if he was going to be a good match for me and give back too.

Incidentally it was these issues that caused me to end the potential relationship and stop all communications which made him mad at me. So in a way I was just observing him being himself and in the end, it just didn't work out for me.
 
You said he kept the conversation.
So I figured you let him control it. But ok.

I don't see how the anecdote is relevent to implying someone is an INFP.
 
yes I can see how the way I typed it inicially caused you to think that was what I meant.

I also said that he was the only INFP that I had to go by and others might be quite different... I was just trying to acknowledge that some of the behaviors were more of an INFP nature such as being idealistic and sensitive while recieving messages from his external environment that were not necessarily the case. I have been under the impression that some INFP's give off an anxious energy and I could pick up on this as there was almost a panicky tone to his voice. However, I thought he had lovely qualities as well. I found him to be very kind and sensitive, interested in me and in my day, and he cared about how I was feeling about things too. My thoughts on him were not completely negative, and I am sorry if I portrayed aspects an INFP in a souly negative light. I can see that I only detailed negative characteristics that interperated of him and that I didn't include the positives. I will remember in future to include them as well should I ever discuss him again and hopefully I didn't offend you :m161:
 
Heck, sometimes I wish I *were* INFP. I certainly wouldn't mind using Ne and Fi a whole lot better than I'm usin' 'em.
 
Nicola Jane said:
I was just thinking about this the other day and I think this is perhaps the only type that I don't think anyone I know has tested as! Its quite weird, and most of my friends are intuitives as well. I was wondering how you could recognise one and if I knew this maybe I could think about my friends who hadnt tested and work out whether any of them might be INFP.
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Have them post on this board and if they get torn a new asshole, you can safely assume they are INFP.


Just kidding :m034:


"Heck, sometimes I wish I *were* INFP. I certainly wouldn't mind using Ne and Fi a whole lot better than I'm usin' 'em."

How are you not using them well? I personally think all NFs use Ne/Ni and Fe/Fi really well, its those damn Ts and Ss we have problems with. What do you think?
 
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@ Kaipus: I think crying in front of friends all depends on how close a friend they are. If you're just friendly acquaintances then crying in front of them would probably have been a bit of a "too much-too soon" situation.

If you're really close though then I think it's fine to cry in front of them, depending on the friend they might even appreciate the emotional honesty (plus helping friends feel better is always a great feeling).

Bear in mind though that some people are better at and more comfortable with emotional displays than others.

Raccoon Love said:
INFP's match me so much it's scary..Is almost l ke I was a combo of iNFJ,INFP,INTJ and INTP. I think that most INFP's would be quite diroganized, lost in thought and fantasy, I think they are quite warm, but can think negatively too often and often view the world in a very gloomy way. They always fear the worst etc etc.
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I think that tends to be true mostly for the type 4 INFPs, especially the younger/more insecure/less developed ones (it was true for me anyway).

Goatman455 said:
How are you not using them well? I personally think all NFs use Ne/Ni and Fe/Fi really well, its those damn Ts and Ss we have problems with. What do you think?
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It's definitely been my experience that NFs tend to have an easier time getting to grips with the full range of Feeling and iNtuitive functions than some other types, but I don't think it's true for all NFs. Heck, some INFPs can't even use Ne well, never mind Ni.

The guy Ria mentioned in her posts seems to me like an example of this, in regards to his relationship with his family and ex's his use of Fi was so strong compared to his other functions that his Ne was being focussed purely inwards towards his own feelings and how he felt, rather than being focussed outwards towards others to intuit how they might be feeling about things.
 
As many people have said before,

I think the key identifier from a INFJ to a INFP is that the INFP blames everything on something.

While the INFJ realizes that the world is the world and in fact it is not really anyone's fault. After all how does one person fully blame someone else for being who they are?

I think people often flipflop back and forth between being INFP and being INFJ. The core difference is the streets of communication, you'll more likely have a two way conversation with a INFJ as opposed to the one way conversation of the INFP.
 
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Goatman455 said:
"Heck, sometimes I wish I *were* INFP. I certainly wouldn't mind using Ne and Fi a whole lot better than I'm usin' 'em."

How are you not using them well? I personally think all NFs use Ne/Ni and Fe/Fi really well, its those damn Ts and Ss we have problems with. What do you think?
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Not all the time. It also depends on what theory you subscribe to. We use all the processes, but INFJs would specifically use Ni-Fe-Ti-Se. If/when I use Ne, Fi,Te, and/or Si, I usually trip up...and sometimes I have my greatest conflicts with those who primarily use processes that I use the least. It's not wrong, it's just a teachable moment. :)
 
Naxx said:
As many people have said before,

I think the key identifier from a INFJ to a INFP is that the INFP blames everything on something.

While the INFJ realizes that the world is the world and in fact it is not really anyone's fault. After all how does one person fully blame someone else for being who they are?

I think people often flipflop back and forth between being INFP and being INFJ. The core difference is the streets of communication, you'll more likely have a two way conversation with a INFJ as opposed to the one way conversation of the INFP.
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It's not so much that the INFP likes to blame everything on something, it's more of about the INFP's frustration with unfulfilled potential.

If the INFP sees someone who is capable of doing a lot more good and is not doing it out of sheer apathy, that wouldn't sit well with the INFP. It all goes back to the idealism and high standards that they set for themselves which they inadvertently set for others too.

The difference between the INFJ and the INFP is that the INFJ is willing to settle and say "Oh well, that's just how life is *shrug*" Whereas the INFP will see all that unfulfilled potential to do more and blame it on apathy. Hence, the INFP appears "whiny" to people who don't understand their idealism, or find it to be too naive.
 
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minkowski thermodynamics said:
It's not so much that the INFP likes to blame everything on something, it's more of about the INFP's frustration with unfulfilled potential.

If the INFP sees someone who is capable of doing a lot more good and is not doing it out of sheer apathy, that wouldn't sit well with the INFP. It all goes back to the idealism and high standards that they set for themselves which they inadvertently set for others too.

The difference between the INFJ and the INFP is that the INFJ is willing to settle and say "Oh well, that's just how life is *shrug*" Whereas the INFP will see all that unfulfilled potential to do more and blame it on apathy.
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Ohhhh. Heh. That makes a lot of sense. I like that description, MT. I usually do just shrug it off (feels a tad guilty)...
 
arbygil said:
Not all the time. It also depends on what theory you subscribe to. We use all the processes, but INFJs would specifically use Ni-Fe-Ti-Se. If/when I use Ne, Fi,Te, and/or Si, I usually trip up...and sometimes I have my greatest conflicts with those who primarily use processes that I use the least. It's not wrong, it's just a teachable moment. :)
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What theories claim we don't use our opposite direction functions much? Out of curiosity, how do you "trip up"?



"I think the key identifier from a INFJ to a INFP is that the INFP blames everything on something."


Wow, I disagree with this in my experience. I have rarely heard INFJs or INFPs blame specific things. I think their view of the world is far too complex to just blame something. I have seen INFP get angry with someone when their values are violated, but never just blame something just to blame it.

I agree with arbygil that minkowski thermodynamics idea sounds very insightful. Plus he is an INFP so I would personally trust this view.
 
It's not fully conclusive as yet that I'm an INFP.

However, I deliberately wrote my response a certain way to illustrate a point. Some people might interpret Naxx's response as INFJ's once again showing how awesome they are compared to the other unwashed plebian MBTI types. I know that this is not what Naxx intended, but I knew that some people might have interpreted it as such.
 
minkowski thermodynamics said:
It's not fully conclusive as yet that I'm an INFP.

However, I deliberately wrote my response a certain way to illustrate a point. Some people might interpret Naxx's response as INFJ's once again showing how awesome they are compared to the other unwashed plebian MBTI types. I know that this is not what Naxx intended, but I knew that some people might have interpreted it as such.
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Oh whoops, that's right, sorry about that, you are INXP (sorry, my S is realllllly bad). My fault. Still the insight seems very valid to me from the INFPs I know for the most part.

That's good you cleared that up, I really don't see many INFJs as being elitist though. Still, it is good you cleared it up to avoid miscommunication. You know, everyone could use a little support for who they are now and then, makes us feel good, like this monkey for example :m156: ...wait not THAT monkey, this one :m037:
 
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If I get an asshole or bitchy "vibe", sometimes I will suspect someone of being an INFP. Especially if they are trying to "prove" shit to me.
 
Goatman455 said:
What theories claim we don't use our opposite direction functions much? Out of curiosity, how do you "trip up"?
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Beebe and Berens, mostly (Linda V. Berens and John Beebee).

Beebe took Jung's shadow beliefs and expanded on them. Then he and Berens created a larger model of type theory, as folks tend to do. I subscribe more to the "Best Fit" type model because I feel we can't all fit in a perfect MBTI box.

"Tripping up" is easy. We all do it because we all make mistakes. I think tripping up for each MBTI type is different, because we usually can't see those mistakes in progress. That's where the shadow function theory comes into play - or perhaps the Johari window, if you like. It's about communication. It's saying there are parts of us that we never see, but other see in us. And sometimes it's the part no one sees until stress occurs.
 
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