How much do you feel?

I have found people and friends talk to me about all their problems and sad times. I sometimes have had to tell people "no" when I feel bogged down. I don't feel guilty about this, why should I? I am available to my friends who are close and really do need it.

My friend's young daughter just lost her mom. It is very sad, but I don't really feel sad. I feel concerned for the child and my friend and I have offered some very useful advice for a few services after he asked.
I don't feel guilty for not feeling sad, why should I? I never knew this woman. I do deeply care for the child and father.

So maybe what I am trying to say is that you care for your friend. You are there because you care, it is not absence of emotion you are seeing, you just have to find out the subtle differences between them.
 
Lucifer said:
I feel many things, all the time, and probably too intensely.

It makes my thinking function be all like grrrrs!

I always thought that not being able to feel anything would be sort of like hell.

Is it hard to handle if you don't mind my asking?
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Thanks for all the replies.

I'm not sure how to answer your question Lucifer. I really want to..

I guess I'm used to it. I do feel things, but sometimes, I begin to feel like I'm not feeling anything. Maybe I expect to feel too much as well, I'm not sure. I can be blasted with intense emotion. That's not really an answer huh.. I think it will get better once my life shapes up more.
 
Dutch Cake said:
I have found people and friends talk to me about all their problems and sad times. I sometimes have had to tell people "no" when I feel bogged down. I don't feel guilty about this, why should I? I am available to my friends who are close and really do need it.

My friend's young daughter just lost her mom. It is very sad, but I don't really feel sad. I feel concerned for the child and my friend and I have offered some very useful advice for a few services after he asked.
I don't feel guilty for not feeling sad, why should I? I never knew this woman. I do deeply care for the child and father.

So maybe what I am trying to say is that you care for your friend. You are there because you care, it is not absence of emotion you are seeing, you just have to find out the subtle differences between them.
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Thanks Dutch cake. This helps :)

So what about people (usually see it with girls) who burst into tears when they're watching movies or when someone they don't know dies, because "it's just so sad", or at a wedding... Ok, I've never been to a wedding - but the rest of it, I feel completely unempathetic in comparison.
 
wretched said:
Having experienced the death of my 16 year old son on Feb 22 of this year, I am feeling way too much all the time. I would give anything to feel nothing at all, which I have many many times in my life. I didn't like it much when I couldn't feel anything though.

Soulful, it is totaly ok to not feel sad. Your friend doesn't need you to feel sad for her. she just needs you to be there if and when she asks.
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:hug: :(

And Soulful, I agree with wretched that sometimes it's okay not to feel sad. We INFJs are a pretty resilient lot. We usually feel apathetic at times because we're overloaded...but once we equalize (or once we allow ourselves to be patient with ourselves and our surroundings) we usually bounce back.

Give yourself the freedom to feel...apathy. And then come back to center. If you're having problems returning to center, then it's time to reach out for assistance.
 
wretched said:
Having experienced the death of my 16 year old son on Feb 22 of this year, I am feeling way too much all the time. I would give anything to feel nothing at all, which I have many many times in my life. I didn't like it much when I couldn't feel anything though.
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:hug: I'm so sorry, that must be so hard.
 
This is prefaced to say that I am a psych student with a history of depression:

While I was reading this post I was wondering if you are depressed?

I have gone through sort of two types of depression, one in which I cry all the time, and another in which I just feel numb.

If this has been going on for a while (more than a few months), and is really bothering you, I would suggest going to see a professional. Its okay to ask for help when you need it.

*hugs*
 
Lately, I've realized that I subconsciously numb my feelings (and my thoughts) with T.V.

When I am engaged in something that actively uses Se (extraverted sensing), I don't feel as much. And with T.V., it allows my mind to go blank, so I'm not thinking deep thoughts that lead to my normally melancholy disposition.

When I was 11 or 12, I would be overwhelmed with feeling if I saw someone else in pain, or even something as mundane as someone being unintentionally rude to me.

The enneagram has helped me to see things differently. Most of us INFJ's are 4w5 on the enneagram, and the best piece of emotional advice that I've gotten from it is to learn to use your emotionality as fuel to reach your goal.

A great analog is Michael Phelps. Did you know he has learning difficulties and ADHD? Counselors recommended that, as a child, he take up sports, because it would help his condition. Many attribute his greatness to the energy and personality afforded him by his ADHD.

Embrace your emotions. Don't deny them, don't wallow in them, don't loathe them. Use your emotional states productively and for an effective end. They are a gift! If you are a writer, channel your grief, or anger, or happiness into your writing. The same for painting, music, dance, etc. Whatever creative outlet you have (and if its appropriate for your day job, too), let it be fueled by your powerful emotions. As you become more skilled in whatever craft you hone, your emotions will not only have an outlet to be released, but they will also be able to benefit others. You may even achieve fame and fortune from it!
 
I feel very little emotionally.

However, I think constantly.

My thoughts push my feelings out.
 
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