How Much Importance Do INFJS Give To Discussing Personal Matters?

[Vigilance]

what you have described is a very common NT behavior. I have brought this up before in another thread but to help out I will do so here to assist in the understanding for INTJs and INFJs.

Basically you kept the INFJ on a need to know basis. All my friends are NTs. and they all do this. ENTPs INTPs INTJs.... basically when the INFJ asked you the correct question ...a personal question you than answered it again on a needs too know basis "what would you like to know"

understand that while INTJ and INFJ are great friends this type of communication is super frustrating for the INFJ to the point where they wont trust you as you stated because from the INFJ pov you are lying.

I in no way am placing blame nor do i wish to engage in a debate about what is and is not lying. But for sake of understanding why the INFJ got upset it comes down to thinking that withholding personal info is lying.

Now all the NTs i know (ENTPs are far more emotional advanced.) dont like to open up and with good reason feelings are not your strong suit you are rationals logics.....

However......
what you dont know.
is that your INFJ KNOWS THIS...
the infj is most likely frustrated like mad because the INFJ knows that if there is one person ONE person in this world that you can trust your emotions with ....its the INFJ.

Yes you should be cautious of showing those NT feelings to basically ANY OTHER Type but the INFj prob finds it insulting because you dont really know what a gift of a friend that INFJ is. thus the INFJ thinks you dont truly know them or understand them ...they dont call them counselors for nothing.
and the INFJ doesnt want to figure you out...nor get intell too use at a later date.
the INFJ simply wants a deep bond. and nothing more.

I hope this helps my best friend is an INTJ and talking to him is like PULLING TEETH.
unless hes drunk.
so I usually drink with him !

Excellent propositions and a strong stance you have taken regarding the matter. I also see your intuitive nature and a creative mind in this post .

 

[heiots]

The irony when you want everyone and their mother to share their personal matters with you, yet you take forever to open up.

 

[poita]

"Yes you should be cautious of showing those NT feelings to basically ANY OTHER Type but the INFj prob finds it insulting because you don't really know what a gift of a friend that INFJ is. thus the INFJ thinks you don't truly know them or understand them ...they don't call them counselors for nothing.
and the INFJ doesn't want to figure you out...nor get intell too use at a later date.
the INFJ simply wants a deep bond. and nothing more."

"I hope this helps my best friend is an INTJ and talking to him is like PULLING TEETH."

Great post highlighter, About PULLING TEETH, know that very well, with a friend that I have connected with again after 45 yrs. I ask her about Family and all I know is she has two Sons named Mike and Ben. And that Mike suffers from depression and Ben's in NYC at the moment. Have asked her many questions on messenger but she side tracks them all. I feel that if she is not more forthcoming in the friendship, I will just step away.

 

[poita]

And yes she may be a private person, I do know that she has about ten very good friends, and she counts me as one. She reckons, she only speaks to them about every two weeks on messenger. For the life of me how can you really get to know more about someone with such limited interaction time. I guess what I'm really after is some advice from you guys about my dilemma.