How often are you told...

Yes. Always.

People who know me say that I have a sign on my forehead that says "Talk to Me". This will often happen within the first 30 minutes of meeting a person. :ohwell:

Regarding the energy question - I get told that I'm easy to be around - peaceful.
 
People tell me all their secrets very easily a lot but never say they're drawn to my energy *shrug*
 
Sali said:
People tell me all their secrets very easily a lot but never say they're drawn to my energy *shrug*
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Me too. I like that people feel comfortable opening up to me fairly easily.
 
Sali said:
People tell me all their secrets very easily a lot but never say they're drawn to my energy *shrug*
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It's not everyplace I go that I hear, "energy" comments. Just one particular group in society. They who themselves are considered outcasts. I won't go into the specifics of who, though
 
i used to get this a lot, but i progressively got sicker and sicker of it, and now i generally prefer to project a vibe that keeps a distance between me and others. i prefer not to be involved with people that much, they're messed up and needy, and they can get crazy and do weird shit. so it's better to get to know people who have more appropriate boundaries and can respect having distance as an acquaintance, and getting to know me slowly. actually people who are just coming out and revealing intimate details, it's a bit of a red flag for me.
 
Thanks for that insight, Invisible. That has actually broadened my perspective.

**pondering**
 
ALL the time.

I am often the therapist/go-to person. I listen well, and give good advice.

Though... I rarely get the same treatment from those people. The people that are so comfortable with me are rarely my greatest friends.
 
Never, but my friends/family usually tell me things. They don't elaborate on the fact they told me, they just let it happen. It's that 'silent trust' thing, maybe.

I've often been told, however, that I might put people off by being too polite/shy/intense... So I must have some bad energy going there.
 
6string said:
wow, really? Cause even though I don't get close to folks, and often feel like an outsider, people seem to come to me with all of their problems. Like I have some degree in psychology or something. It's never about them trying to get to know me, but about spilling their guts out to me. But only with certain people.
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Is it possible that you are very patient? 'Cause I think one thing that a lot of people are drawn to are people who have patience. It's quite rare in today's society.
 
I get it. I still get "I thought you were weird/scary but then i got to know you and you are ...........".
 
I used to get stuff like this all the time, until I moved to a new school and everyone thinks I'm a creep.
 
No one has ever flat out told me that, but whenever I meet people, once we start talking they always find it easy to open up and tell me things.
 
No this doesn't really happen to me. I think I come across as intimidating to a lot of people in social settings actually. I have a sort of serious intense look about me though, and it's just my normal thinking about stuff face. But it seems to make people think I am pissed or unhappy a lot of the time. I think some people think I don't like them because of it. But I like pretty much everyone, unless they did some supreme douchebaggery.
 
Jill Hives said:
No this doesn't really happen to me. I think I come across as intimidating to a lot of people in social settings actually. I have a sort of serious intense look about me though, and it's just my normal thinking about stuff face.
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Pics or GTFO.
 
My ESFP friend has told me that he's drawn to me, but he's the only one I've heard it from.

I have co-workers tell me about their messed up lives, there is always drama and emotion that I don't personally get caught up in, but most people just need to vent. It's really my own fault though for seeming so inviting and interested.
 
Never. I usually get "I was afraid of you" or "you're not as bad as I thought you were". I figure it is an INTJ thing. I seem much nicer here on the forum--irl, most people notice the LMTFA attitude I give off.
 
I've never gotten the "energy" comment from anyone - but I've still experienced everything else for almost as long as I can remember as well.

Growing up as a child, I was always a bit more mature than most people my age... A lot of friends would always come to me for advice and for help with their problems. Of course, being so young and having my own personal issues at the time, it ended up that no one else was there for me when I needed it, time and time again... I realized that most were just using me for their own personal support system. I got fed up with being the therapist (which was quite hard for me at the time)... and ended up pushing many people away.


Now that I'm older and have been able to mature and move on, I've found that so many different people from all kinds of backgrounds find it easy to open up to me, many without knowing me for more than a day. I'm highly intrigued by it, actually. I've gotten a lot of comments over the years -- "You're so easy to talk to", "It feels like I've known you for years", "I can't believe I'm telling you this, but..." -- it seems that people seem to be naturally drawn to me and are compelled to tell me things they wouldn't usually tell to someone they barely know or haven't been close to for very long. I'd like to clarify and state that I'm a pretty big introvert for the most part - I don't usually initiate conversations, I don't like big groups, I shy away from socializing because it's usually emotionally and physically draining for me. I experience social anxiety in large groups of people and try to avoid them like the plague. I try to appear guarded and unsociable to a lot of people (specifically people like co-workers and most acquaintances/potential could-be friends these days..). To some I may even appear as unapproachable or even cold... or well, sometimes I feel that I'm projecting that, at least. However, when I'm engaged with someone in a one-on-one conversation, I'm a good listener, empathetic and passionate, understanding, open-minded, non-judgmental, and I always find it pretty easy to relate to most people in one way or another. Only those who are extremely close to me know who I truly am (pretty much family members only), while others get to see small snippets of this side of me when I do have the chance to truly engage with them.

I truly think that the main reason why people feel so comfortable talking to me about almost anything is because once they start talking to me, those positive traits start shining through... even if sometimes I try to hide them. ;)


**TLDR; I've had the same experiences as you, 6string. :)
 
Hmm. I don't think I know anyone who would use the phrase "I'm just drawn to your energy" anyways, but I've never heard something like this. I have, however, heard the phrases "You're easy to talk to" and "Wow, I never open up to someone like this."

But those aren't especially frequent either. I find that a lot of people find my honesty and bluntness refreshing and trustworthy at first. Then, when it's aimed at them, they don't like it as much. Big surprise. A lot of people my age don't want to hear the truth, especially when it's about something they like doing and how they probably shouldn't do it. I think younger people want to march to the beat of their own drum and aren't as concerned with self improvement, exploration, or morality yet. Basically, it's a giant lie-fest right now for a lot of them. They want as many people to like them as possible and don't care who's, erm, PRIVATE PARTS, they have to handle to get what they want.

That aside, I think I can say without feeling too self indulgent that most people feel this way about me. They're refreshed that I'm honest, trustworthy, responsible, and willing to cut the bullshit. Then after a while once they realize that they don't do that and that's a scawy world out there when they can't bullshit everything and everyone, they shy away and then to pull out the "Well you're just judgmental of everyone" and "You're so grumpy and negative!"

People don't want to hear the truth.
 
Sonyab said:
Never. I usually get "I was afraid of you" or "you're not as bad as I thought you were". I figure it is an INTJ thing. I seem much nicer here on the forum--irl, most people notice the LMTFA attitude I give off.
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They're complimenting you without realizing it.
 
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