How old is too old? (Age gap in relationships)

*points to name of subforum*

yes, I'm very happy and open about my lovelife, and practically everything else about me. that's the way I am.

you just can't squish my loving nature!
 
He did that when drunk the other day

It was..... beautiful

*wells up*

We should periodically remind him of this lest it be forgot
 
Melkor said:
I think it's pretty obvious that not only are FJ's more prone to love than INTP's, but they're also more open and comfortable with openly discussing it.

Most of the romance threads on INTPforum get bashed you know, because we have better things to talk about.:)
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I think that's bullshit, I'm an INTP and I have no trouble discussing love (or any other emotion). It's surprising the romance threads get bashed on INTPforum~ as a concept I feel love is as interesting to discuss as any other.
 
But you know normally I would say a 7-10 year age difference would be it. Since our bodies replace every 7 years I'd say anything much more would be in conflict with our states of development, different stages. There is always exception to the rules.
 
April said:
I think that's bullshit, I'm an INTP and I have no trouble discussing love (or any other emotion). It's surprising the romance threads get bashed on INTPforum~ as a concept I feel love is as interesting to discuss as any other.
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We've discussed this, the chances of you being an INTP are minimal.
INFP maybe, or FJ?

I can't possibly comprehend you as a T.

At any rate, regardless of your type, the general consensus amongst my type is that emotions are volatile and to be avoided, and their discussion is generally thought of as boring.

Oh pshhh, you people need to accept that I'm just not that kind of person.
 
I personally think it's about what the needs of the people involved are, and I think the older you get, the less age matters.
 
Melkor said:
We've discussed this, the chances of you being an INTP are minimal.
INFP maybe, or FJ?

I can't possibly comprehend you as a T.
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We haven't really discussed it, you've just made up your mind that I'm not an INTP. What makes you so certain I'm an F?

At any rate, regardless of your type, the general consensus amongst my type is that emotions are volatile and to be avoided, and their discussion is generally thought of as boring.
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Expression of emotions certainly can be volatile and perhaps should be avoided (depending on the context), but I don't understand why INTPs would be adverse to discussing them. Discussion is just that.. discussion. Things like emotions are intrinsic to human experience, you'd think INTPs, given their propensity to analyze everything around them, would find them of interest.

Oh pshhh, you people need to accept that I'm just not that kind of person.
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Lol, you might be though, at least if your admissions when intoxicated are anything to go by =)
 
Griffschen said:
I personally think it's about what the needs of the people involved are, and I think the older you get, the less age matters.
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Yes that's true as well. The greatest satisfaction comes from couples that are mentally hours or days apart in terms of their maturity and this is most possible between a certain time frame. You are absolutely right to say what you do and as people age the age range opens up. Its also like a focus time vortex, you know when you see a word in a book and the rest become blurry. A persons attitude in their maturation depends greatly on their experiences and how close or far their are in their mental states. And when there is an age differentiation that becomes too much then the chances are the relationship would dissolve eventually. As much as getting past the shadow anima animus mirroring. After all depends on how far apart people get mentally, if they are close at any age then age hardly matters.

However there are probably states.
Under 15's 1 year = 5 year
18, 1 year = 4 year
21, 1 year = 3 year
25, 1 year = 2 year
31, 1 year = 1 year

When a 21 year old dates somebody who is 25 s/he thinks that's old because in their time frames they add 3 for every year so then the 21 year old thinks they are dating a 37 year old in terms of mental age. And as you get older this decreases. Well anyway that is my exaggerated spin on it. So yes the older we age the less age matters. And I'm wrong somewhere, hmm.
 
The discussion is over April.

Back on topic.


The only type of love I'm against, is love which preys on innocence.

I think that covers children, animals, and vunerable women.

I just don't like when the other party is unaware of exactly what is occuring. Thats my only rule.
 
^Pfft, you're no fun :P But you're right, it was getting way off track :/

To add to the topic: I think a large age gap is manageable if the two people's values and lifestyles coincide to a sufficient degree.
 
April said:
To add to the topic: I think a large age gap is manageable if the two people's values and lifestyles coincide to a sufficient degree.
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Yep. I think you have be self aware, know who you are and what you're capable of handling in order for that relationship to work. I don't think it's for everyone. I think many people romanticize these relationships with huge age gaps and get caught up in the novelty of it, but when the reality sets in, they realize its not what they thought it would be. And thing is, they usually work mainly when the older seems or appears much younger than their age, or the younger partner is more mature or appears much older, in order to cancel out the age differences.
 
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What this all boils down to is this:

Age is not the issue

The issue is the things which usually come hand in hand with age such as maturity, level of commitment wanted etc

If for whatever these things don't apply such as a relatively immature older person or vice versa then there is no problem with any legal age difference
 
Poetic Justice said:
What this all boils down to is this:

Age is not the issue

The issue is the things which usually come hand in hand with age such as maturity, level of commitment wanted etc
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Yeah, but i still would be a bit curious about a 20-something marrying a 60 or 70 something. You'd have to have quite a bit more in common to make that work for both people in the relationship. especially in the long term. I'd heavily question motives in that case.

I think the reasons why both are in the relationship are more important than anything else.
 
Anita said:
Yeah, but i still would be a bit curious about a 20-something marrying a 60 or 70 something. You'd have to have quite a bit more in common to make that work for both people in the relationship. especially in the long term. I'd heavily question motives in that case.

I think the reasons why both are in the relationship are more important than anything else.
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But that's just an outsiders opinion. What if they were genuinely in love and genuinely attracted to each other?

With a large age difference there will always be people who don't approve. This is something any such relationship would have to endure. Even with a twenty something and a thirty something
 
Melkor said:
Not sure whether to be manically dissapointed or secretly relieved.


Well, besides your somewhat icky, mushy views, I have to say you're one of the few making sense.

It's perhaps the most honourable thing any creature can do, to say that they are capable of loving anyone.

I think about five people on the planet can say this, and depending on the day, I'm one of them.
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I'll take that as a compliment. ;) You know, there is always an exception to the rule.

In all honesty I think it has very little to do with age and more about how the two people relate and where they are in their lives at that point in time. The age limit is going to be different for each person you ask because we are all at different places at this point in time.
 
Poetic Justice said:
But that's just an outsiders opinion. What if they were genuinely in love and genuinely attracted to each other?

With a large age difference there will always be people who don't approve. This is something any such relationship would have to endure. Even with a twenty something and a thirty something
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Which is why i said that the reasons why they are in the relationship are more important than anything else. And what many people call love is not love, just using someone under the guise of love.
 
Anita said:
Which is why i said that the reasons why they are in the relationship are more important than anything else. And what many people call love is not love, just using someone under the guise of love.
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Agreed
 
It's certainly harder for people who are in relationships where there are massive age gaps. trust me, especially with children involved, who question us all the time about it. Peter's oldest son is almost exactly my age... I know many people who have fallen for people who are older than them, and surprisingly, many of them are still together.

and you know, apparently there are more of them in this day and age meeting each other one the internet. My partner's brother is 52 and he met his partner on the internet and she is about 18 years younger than he.
 
My concern is those situations is the much younger woman/older man scenario, in those situations in which the younger woman is being courted and essentially recruited mainly to be a caregiver for the much older man, under the guise of he's simply looking for a younger companion. You also have the much older man dating a younger woman as way to regain his youth. Same goes for the older woman/younger men scenario.

And of course, we have the older man/woman with money, having a younger mate who may only be with them because they are financially well off, not because they really appreciate who they are and what they have to offer.
 
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