[INFJ] I hurt an INFJ very bad

the said:
Supposedly the infj is suppose to hurt you worse then you've ever been before. At least that's what all the infjs have been saying here for the past 7 years.
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Just look at how he is filled with guilt and shame. Hopelessness and longing. She is the reason for his pain, but he did it to himself. That's the secret...she exposed himself to himself... ouch.
 
feelsbad said:
No, I lied in the beginning because I was criminal and didn't want her to know of course. Also I stopped criminal activities, but maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not even INTJ - who knows.
I need to change a few things in my life, it's not only about her and I will probably fail, because I'm just a bad human being and there is no help for me... I didn't choose this.
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I'm a straight shooter when it comes to these things, so I'm not going to sugar coat it for you. If I was this girls dad and you got anywhere near my daughter you would need to look out, because, you are about to get eaten by daddy bear. This is especially true for a father with a daughter that has INFJ attributes. I assure you he loves her more than anything in this world and if you think for a second you have a chance of getting in her good graces then you are very WRONG! IF, by some act of god that were to happen, then her dad will do everything he can to keep you away from her. That's what I would expect from her and him.

So wiggle your slippery self back to what you were doing before and correct your behavior, your actions, your entire life and then come to a woman with respectful and honest intentions. NO LIEING, NO ACCIDENTALLY POSTING, NO BOMBARDING AND FORCING YOUR WAY INTO HER LIFE!!

I do not have sympathy for you because you say you want to make her think / believe differently of you. That just makes me believe that you are still trying to manipulate and lie. Leave this girl ALONE. She doesn't want you around and you are not good for her at this stage in your life.

You can have a better life. Make better choices, regroup and you can find someone special.
 
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You lied to her and promised not to lie again...you did.
You say you wanted to prove you aren’t a criminal...but you are/were.
Sorry man, but I think you are in the perma-doghouse.
INFJs will forgive, but then you deceived her again...someone who you say is already a paranoid person or is touchy about such things.
Most INFJs...especially in relationships that fall apart for whatever reason...will cut all ties with that person and you likely never see them again.
Good luck.
Sorry.
 
feelsbad said:
I'm an INTJ male. I have a good friend (INFJ female) on Skype. We never met in real life, but we know us online for about a year now.
She is one of the nicest people I ever met. So I really like her, but I did a few things she can't forgive anymore I guess.

First of all when we met online I told her I'm self-employed, working in IT like programming stuff.
That wasn't true. The truth is at that time I earned my money by doing criminal stuff in Darknet.

She somehow intuitionally knew that something was wrong, so she asked me different stuff and thought I was lying about this or that. Then somehow she asked me if I'm a hacker. So I responded "define hacker" and that was the moment she knew I was lying about my job.

I couldn't do this anymore so 1 month later I told her the truth. She felt so badly about this, firstly because I lied to her and secondly because I have been a criminal.

She was really pissed on, so I tried my best to prove her I wasn't a liar. She also told me right in the beginning she is a very paranoid person, so this triggered her really hard, but she accepted my sorry and we moved on.
She also warned me she usually wouldn't trust twice. I promised I wouldn't hurt her again.

Until I did something much much worse. Not even comparable.
I hope she won't hate me for posting this here, but I want to get help somehow. So yeah.
In the beginning she sent me censored picture of her face, to prove me she is real. I posted this picture online to troll others pretending I have just found a girlfriend. I also posted a screenshot and I forgot to remove her Skype name. This was so stupid...
Someone messaged her, I tried to explain what I did but I couldn't.

She felt so super betrayed, but I sweated to her I would take full responsibility for what I did. I said if I will help her to get out of this situation, she will accept my sorry. I believed her, so she changed her account, I gave her tips like not accepting any friend requests and nothing happened to her.
But her trust was broken, she was super distant. I tried my best to win her back, to somehow show her it was a mistake I did. So there were differences. Sometimes she was more open, sometimes she didn't reply for days. I tried my best to prove her I was always on her side, but she became super paranoid. First she didn't tell how she felt and said "I'm okay. it's okay... don't worry about me." but she remained distant, but with time she confronted me with what I did.
I tried to apologize hundreds of times, but overtime I tried she just became more hurt and angry it seemed to me. No matter how hard I tried. She became so paranoid, she sometimes asked me if I will try to stalk her or something. It became much worse and worse.

A few days ago she said she will delete her account. I begged her not do, so she wanted to stay. But a few moments later she replied she just said wanted to stay, because she fears I would come to find her and stuff like that.
I asked her if she really wanted to leave me (she said that before already a few times, but then she finally stayed, so I thought it was the same) and if so I would delete and block her for her and I promised I wouldn't stalk her then. She didn't answer to my questions.
I waited about 2 days, asked her again, I wrote her a message where I explained her again how much I hate myself for what I did and I just want the best for her and if she's that hurt that she can't anymore I would leave her now if she wishes.
She didn't reply, so finally I said good bye and blocked her.

I don't know what to do right now, because I seriously miss her and I feel like I lost something really important. I'm so sad and I can't even imagine how bad she must feel, I just want to make it undone, but she won't trust me again and she even has reason for it. I would like to prove her I'm not lying, but it seems to be impossible now. :(
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Go outside and meet a real girl. Too much computer time.
 
biwaly said:
There is no way because people don't change.
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I agree with many of the posts in here, and I don't often like to use the word never, but I will say this. Bad beginnings do not get better. The op's moral/ethical character is flawed and not likely to change.
feelsbad said:
I forgot to mention she was my girlfriend a few days ago when that happened. So it wasn't really a lie.
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Oh well, that changes everything then. #sarcasm
I'm going to go with you don't appear to have the ability to see reality clearly.
But I see your point. I just wanted to somehow show her I wasn't manipulative or something, I made mistakes for sure. She always had problems trusting people and now she probably thinks she can't trust anyone and everyone is like me. That's why I "bombarded" her with messages. I really thought she would see that I'm not lying, but she didn't believe me anymore. Don't want her to be sad and disappointed, of course I can't make it undone, but there has to be a way to show her I changed. :/
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Just stop. You haven't changed and you're a threat to her. You may be reading my words and still telling yourself untrue things, but people rarely change and what you've done and are continuing to do isn't mentally healthy.
Billy said:
Go outside and meet a real girl. Too much computer time.
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He met a real girl, just thankfully for her sake not in person. She saw the real him, so what makes you think he will behave any differently if he meets a woman irl?
FreeSp1r1t said:
I'm a straight shooter when it comes to these things, so I'm not going to sugar coat it for you. If I was this girls dad and you got anywhere near my daughter you would need to look out, because, you are about to get eaten by daddy bear. This is especially true for a father with a daughter that has INFJ attributes. I assure you he loves her more than anything in this world and if you think for a second you have a chance of getting in her good graces then you are very WRONG! IF, by some act of god that were to happen, then her dad will do everything he can to keep you away from her. That's what I would expect from her and him.
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Whether or not she has a father, the op appears (based on his posts) to be unstable and should leave her alone, but we don't know that he can change and he very well may continue to harass her.
So wiggle your slippery self back to what you were doing before and correct your behavior, your actions, your entire life and then come to a woman with respectful and honest intentions. NO LIEING, NO ACCIDENTALLY POSTING, NO BOMBARDING AND FORCING YOUR WAY INTO HER LIFE!!
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Assuming he can change.
I do not have sympathy for you because you say you want to make her think / believe differently of you. That just makes me believe that you are still trying to manipulate and lie. Leave this girl ALONE. She doesn't want you around and you are not good for her at this stage in your life.
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Qft.
You can have a better life. Make better choices, regroup and you can find someone special.
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Here's to hoping.
Eventhorizon said:
No. I think that in general intjs do not like liars and they don't like to lie. From your own admission that seems to come easily to you. I personally don't like someone claiming to be an intj indicating lying is the first course of action when meeting new people or... ever actually.
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Fancy that. I actually agree with you on something. I don't think the op's problems lie with his "type" which is something he claims to be unsure of anyway. Honestly who likes a flat out liar?
 
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dang said:
I apologize 1,000 times. Actually, no I don't. Ms. Jackson can kiss my ass. What a bitch.
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Yeah!
My baby's drama mama, don't like me
She be doing things like having them boys come from her neighborhood
To the studio trying to fight me
She need to get a, piece of the american pie and take her bite out
That's my house, I'll disconnect the cable and turn the lights out.
 
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