I think that we both have a problem with admiting that we did something wrong. For example if I prove to him that he's wrong about an argument he says "fuck off, I don't wanna talk anymore" or he says something else that hurts me and then we ignore each other for a while (few hours usually) until he admits he's wrong.. we also perceive these arguments differently. I always get hurt, he always thinks I'm overreacting. But on the other hand he's a super sensitive person as well and I just think he doesn't wanna talk about his emotions and fears. I was probably too harsh in the past wanting him to be strong I guess. And we always laugh about someone of us being clingy but maybe there was always a deeper meaning to it.
I think I understand better now. I was always so sure he loves me and will never leave me that I acted kinda mean or careless. We see each other for Christmas (hopefully) or on my birthday which is a bit sooner... So I guess I will have to wait till then to discuss everything? Through messages is kinda hard