I see...things

[Eventhorizon]

[MENTION=8603]Eventhorizon[/MENTION]

I feel you there...I know the back pain I have has made me into a different person...I know I can be too short with people sometimes...it has changed the way I do my job...it has changed the way I play with my Son....it has changed my general outlook on life in certain areas. It's a day by day thing.

The only thing I can think of is, imagine an after life where people finally understand what you had to live with and that regardless of it, you still made it through. Kind of like a WTF magic trick, that no one will ever be able to figure out.

 

[sprinkles]

Love OJ and I used to drink a TON of lemonade. They had this fresh stuff at my local grocery store. Just found out about 4 months ago I am allergic to citrus. Ha ha ha ha! Its almost enough to make me believe in gods and that they get bored.

Some non citrus alternatives are kiwi, just about as good as oranges, and raw red sweet peppers which are actually even better than oranges for vitamin C.

 

[Skarekrow]

The only thing I can think of is, imagine an after life where people finally understand what you had to live with and that regardless of it, you still made it through. Kind of like a WTF magic trick, that no one will ever be able to figure out.

Well...that is a nice scenario, I hope someday people get it...it would be nice for people to realize that not everyone feels well...in fact some of us hurt really badly yet still function...although, I think those starving Ethiopian kids might have us beat...it easy to forget when you feel like shit that there are worse things out there. No matter how bad you have it someone has/had it worse.

 

[Eventhorizon]

Well...that is a nice scenario, I hope someday people get it...it would be nice for people to realize that not everyone feels well...in fact some of us hurt really badly yet still function...although, I think those starving Ethiopian kids might have us beat...it easy to forget when you feel like shit that there are worse things out there. No matter how bad you have it someone has/had it worse.

Its not easy to forget. As f'd up as it sounds its one of the few things that gets me through when I am feeling bad. That other people endure things I cant imagine.

 

[Skarekrow]

Its not easy to forget. As f'd up as it sounds its one of the few things that gets me through when I am feeling bad. That other people endure things I cant imagine.

Very true...

 

[goldfinch]

How did it effect you? Did you notice improvement?

It was kind of complicated when I was diagnosed with the b12 deficiency. One month prior to that I had part of my kidney removed because of a malignant tumor, and I didn't feel well because of that. But I felt in my heart that there was something else going on, and luckily I have a wonderful doctor who trusts my intuition about myself. I went in to see her and told her how I felt and she was the one who thought of testing my b12.

My main symptoms (and my b12 level was 145 by the way), were lightheadedness and dizziness. Every time I stood up I felt like I would pass out. My hands shook and my hair was falling out. When it was cold my fingers would get numb. I also had some depression, but that could be unrelated, because I have had that before. I was also slightly anemic, because b12 is involved in the production of red blood cells.

It took 14 months to get my b12 up to 636. This march it was down to 481, and I just had another test on Monday. If it dropped again I'll go back to injections.

I am vegan by the way. But I had the deficiency before I became vegan. The body stores b12, so even if you don't eat anything at all, it will take a while to become deficient in b12.

 

[Eventhorizon]

It was kind of complicated when I was diagnosed with the b12 deficiency. One month prior to that I had part of my kidney removed because of a malignant tumor, and I didn't feel well because of that. But I felt in my heart that there was something else going on, and luckily I have a wonderful doctor who trusts my intuition about myself. I went in to see her and told her how I felt and she was the one who thought of testing my b12.

My main symptoms (and my b12 level was 145 by the way), were lightheadedness and dizziness. Every time I stood up I felt like I would pass out. My hands shook and my hair was falling out. When it was cold my fingers would get numb. I also had some depression, but that could be unrelated, because I have had that before. I was also slightly anemic, because b12 is involved in the production of red blood cells.

It took 14 months to get my b12 up to 636. This march it was down to 481, and I just had another test on Monday. If it dropped again I'll go back to injections.

I am vegan by the way. But I had the deficiency before I became vegan. The body stores b12, so even if you don't eat anything at all, it will take a while to become deficient in b12.

Wow. I hope you are doing better. That sounds a rough spot in life.

 

[goldfinch]

Thank you, I'm doing great now. I'm glad that you were able to figure out what was going on with you and that you feel better too. I hope the b12 and testosterone issues get fixed soon too.

 

[drysba]

A lack of meaning never stopped me before. Sudden enlightenment doesn't change the reality I've experienced. I entertain such thought trains for fun but I don't let them penetrate.

 

[Eventhorizon]

A lack of meaning never stopped me before. Sudden enlightenment doesn't change the reality I've experienced. I entertain such thought trains for fun but I don't let them penetrate.

Contemplate this. One day you find that you will live your same life over and over, never stopping. You find that there is something responsible for this. Do you, try to stop it or do you accept it?

 

[tfg345i4u5lw]

Long story, 2009 May I became very sick at work. Went to the emergency room, was released, a week later I went back and was admitted to the hospital. After $30k worth of tests and stay, they did not find anything but kept talking about strokes or tsa’s which to me made sense because I couldn’t think clearly any more. After the hospital, for about 2 years straight felt as if every day could be my last. I honestly felt so bad every day for 2 years straight I thought I could die every day. After a while I was begging for death from any potential god that might be listening. Ill never kill myself but I know now there are people alive that have good reasons not to want to be on this earth any more. I used to try to imagine hell when I was younger because this is the religion some in my family followed. Nothing I ever imagined was as bad as what I went through.

About 9 months ago now, I went on a gluten free diet to try and clear up some digestive issues. Over about 3 weeks’ time many of my other symptoms started to go away. I got lucky. They have gone away to where I can at least live a somewhat more normal life. I appear I have whats called gluten sensitivity which is a simple way of saying gluten is basically a deadly poison to my body. Sensitivity for me comprises of all the good things having to do with celiacs, gluten ataxia… Well like I said I got lucky. I could not have gone through the rest of my life feeling as bad as I did. It’s a labor as it is now.

More recently I found I had so little energy I could barely move. Seriously, it took effort just to put one foot in front of the other. After seeing the doc, we got some real results this time. Exceptionally low B12 and Testosterone. My body is giving up on me at the age of 42! Not surprising if there really is a link between the physical self and the mind.

Why do I tell all this to anyone who will listen? I am not sure, I think its because I want people to know I am not the same person I was. I am angrier because I don’t feel well or whole most of the time these days. Anyway that’s about it.

Holy shit dude!!! I was having similar issues. I used to be yolked and super athletic. But all of a sudden I started losing weight and having hardly any energy. I couldn't think clearly. Sometimes the world would seem like a blur and I started feeling so down because of it. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Then I cut gluten out of my diet and I started coming back to life. It turns out I was poisoning myself to death by consuming foods that contained gluten. I was literally slowly dying. But I've recovered and I've put on weight. I'm back to my normal self and I have the energy to exercise again.

Everyone should be aware of how gluten can damage your body. If you feel sick, check to make sure it's not gluten intolerance, that shit will kill you slowly if you aren't aware. It will cause you to not absorb nutrients. And your body won't change immediately because it will learn to hold on to nutrients better, but eventually the damage catches up and your body simply cant conserve the nutrients well enough to compensate for the malabsorption. This is why thousands of people all over the world are slowly dying from gluten intolerance and don't even know it. It's like torture when you feel yourself withering away and can't figure out why.

 

[drysba]

Contemplate this. One day you find that you will live your same life over and over, never stopping. You find that there is something responsible for this. Do you, try to stop it or do you accept it?

If I ever reached such an existential quandary, I would demand proof of its claim. If this goes as pure truth, I would probably become suicidal.

 

[Eventhorizon]

If I ever reached such an existential quandary, I would demand proof of its claim. If this goes as pure truth, I would probably become suicidal.

I like your response because it shows thought. Where you would become suicidal is interesting though. Given the circumstance, your life is not your own. You could kill yourself only to find yourself right back where you started.

I would make it my goal to bring whatever was responsible to an end. Given the chance, I might also enact revenge.

 

[drysba]

I like your response because it shows thought. Where you would become suicidal is interesting though. Given the circumstance, your life is not your own. You could kill yourself only to find yourself right back where you started.

I would make it my goal to bring whatever was responsible to an end. Given the chance, I might also enact revenge.

Interesting response, yourself. I assume that whatever being has that level of control over my life is omnipotent. I doubt I would ever have a chance to enact revenge against its divine will

And you're right, killing myself would be useless. But I would not be able to live the remainder of this life knowing that it's part of an endlessly repeating cycle. I would be too overwhelmed. I also realize that this means I am destined to kill myself over and over. Rather than commit suicide, I would take a hedonistic approach. Devote the rest of my life to obtaining as much physical pleasure as I can experience. Develop a nice heroin addiction.

 

[Eventhorizon]

Interesting response, yourself. I assume that whatever being has that level of control over my life is omnipotent. I doubt I would ever have a chance to enact revenge against its divine will

And you're right, killing myself would be useless. But I would not be able to live the remainder of this life knowing that it's part of an endlessly repeating cycle. I would be too overwhelmed. I also realize that this means I am destined to kill myself over and over. Rather than commit suicide, I would take a hedonistic approach. Devote the rest of my life to obtaining as much physical pleasure as I can experience. Develop a nice heroin addiction.

I suppose part of what drives me is the belief that given enough time, nothing is impossible. Given enough time, I could theoretically find my creators weaknesses (assuming I have a creator) and exploit them. A trillion years? What is that in infinite time?

Yes, knowing you would \ will live the same life over an over would lead one to live a different life as many chances as they got to break the monotony. It just so happens I lean toward the idea that this is where we come from. That we are energy and that we created this place with seeming rules so break the monotony of being all powerful through out eternity.

 

[Eventhorizon]

Interesting response, yourself. I assume that whatever being has that level of control over my life is omnipotent. I doubt I would ever have a chance to enact revenge against its divine will

And you're right, killing myself would be useless. But I would not be able to live the remainder of this life knowing that it's part of an endlessly repeating cycle. I would be too overwhelmed. I also realize that this means I am destined to kill myself over and over. Rather than commit suicide, I would take a hedonistic approach. Devote the rest of my life to obtaining as much physical pleasure as I can experience. Develop a nice heroin addiction.

I suppose part of what drives me is the belief that given enough time, nothing is impossible. Given enough time, I could theoretically find my creators weaknesses (assuming I have a creator) and exploit them. A trillion years? What is that in infinite time?

Yes, knowing you would \ will live the same life over an over would lead one to live a different life as many chances as they got to break the monotony. It just so happens I lean toward the idea that this is where we come from. That we are energy and that we created this place with seeming rules so break the monotony of being all powerful through out eternity.

 

[drysba]

I suppose part of what drives me is the belief that given enough time, nothing is impossible. Given enough time, I could theoretically find my creators weaknesses (assuming I have a creator) and exploit them. A trillion years? What is that in infinite time?

Yes, knowing you would \ will live the same life over an over would lead one to live a different life as many chances as they got to break the monotony. It just so happens I lean toward the idea that this is where we come from. That we are energy and that we created this place with seeming rules so break the monotony of being all powerful through out eternity.

Interesting belief. You think that, given enough time, human beings could become all-powerful? Any sources to this type of belief or is it a personal one?

 

[Eventhorizon]

Interesting belief. You think that, given enough time, human beings could become all-powerful? Any sources to this type of belief or is it a personal one?

Not really. I believe our consciousness is never ending. Or its better to say, I believe this more than the alternative.
I do have a source for this belief. It comes from a combination of all I have learned through my life.

 

[drysba]

Not really. I believe our consciousness is never ending. Or its better to say, I believe this more than the alternative.
I do have a source for this belief. It comes from a combination of all I have learned through my life.

Ah, the intuitive source. Can't attack that