I'm starting to think I might be an ENFJ

[slant]

Pristinegirl, you are a total ENFP. I know, I can feel it.

 

[Gaze]

Ok, well I find that introverted ENFJs tend to take on much of the traits of EJs. They tend to be pretty judgmental (though open minded as well), and very quickly make judgments about people. They also tend to really emphasize politeness and positive relationships with people. This doesn't mean an extroverted INFJ won't do these things but I find this is crucial to ENFJs. Just in general from my experience ENFJs have a more formulated outer world, where INFJs in the outer world come across as 'feeling things out.'

I also notice that ENFJs (EJs in general) are more likely to have a hidden motive sometimes when they speak. They kind of get to the point in a roundabout way sometimes, usually to feel the person out, or perhaps they feel their idea will be misunderstood if stated directly. I don't see this as much in INFJ. When INFJ (or IJ in general) communicates it seems more direct. Actually on a side note, Soconics describes EPs/IJs as "static" personalities and EJs/IPs as 'dynamic', and this is kind of what they mean in a really abstract way.

I also think when they express their thoughts ENFJs tend to be pretty solid about them. They commit to their idea, and prefer to have it set, as opposed to INFJs who tend to walk the fence or be in the gray a lot with their views. I also find that ENFJs are more likely to take criticism to heart, often getting very defensive and emotional when personally 'attacked', or just shutting down completely. INFJs when criticized tend to start going into P mode as I call it where they just keep searching for more info about the criticism in an attempt perhaps to make sense of it in their heads, in essence assimilating the information before judging it.


Really the quickness and solidity of outer judgments I think is a good indicator. To INFJ the outer world is a dreamier place so to speak. Also, an introverted ENFJ may find it upsetting that they have trouble with making close friends, where extroverted INFJ wouldn't so much mind it preferring to keep only close friends and not worrying as much about it.


For me though the big thing is how open does the person come across in discussion. In my experience ENFJs really have made up their minds when they speak, whereas INFJs just seem more 'movable' in their position. Perhaps we could explain it as the Primary Judging/Secondary Perception vs. Primary Perception/Secondary Judging.

Your description makes me think I could be an introverted ENFJ instead of an INFJ. Interesting discussion. It's kinda nice to not need to fit in a box, but have the choice and chance to consider other possibilities.

 

[Pristinegirl]

Pristinegirl, you are a total ENFP. I know, I can feel it.

'I know, I can feel it' - You have got intuition Slant!

Haha well then how do you explain that I type as ENFJ?

 

[IndigoSensor]

A high Fe score for an ENFP. A very good friend of mine is like this, and you and her are very similar.

 

[VH]

As an ENFP, I am starting to wonder whether I might be ENFJ too. I have always been not too far from the border of J. But now, all the recent tests I have taken; enneagram, socionics and love type; end up as ENFJ..

What it really means for me, I don't know.
Do you know what would cause such a change? and if so how does it make things different from before?

'I know, I can feel it' - You have got intuition Slant!

Haha well then how do you explain that I type as ENFJ?

The likeliest reason for this is that you're growing as a person, and developing cognitive functions that you hadn't before.

ENFPs use Ne, Fi, Te, and Si.

When they are young, their Ne is the strongest function. Because it is a P function, ENFPs generally score very high on P.

As ENFPs get older, they develop their Fi and Te functions more and more. These two are both J functions. At some point, they can seem to outweigh your Ne.

Once you get these functions properly developed, you'll finish developing your Si, at which point you'll firmly be back into P, as this is also a P function and will balance the Fi and Te.

In other words, you're a perfectly normal and healthy ENFP.



Interestingly enough, this pattern is similar for INFJs, who are Ni, Fe, Ti, and Se. We tend to start out with a lean toward P because Ni is a P function, then go more J because Fe and Ti are J functions, and end up very close to a balanced point between J and P when we develop our Se.

 

[Morgain]

Hi Van Hase,
I've been reading your tread with great interest. I can really relate on your struggle. I have also been struggling with my strong Fe. Especialy in groups I seem to lose my Ni and go on with Fe. And now I'm doubting wether maybe I am ENFJ instead of INFJ:

ENFJ
+ I craving for interaction
+ I need to assert my self, prove my value, dominate, be admired
+ I'm always concerned about how people think about me and I act the way I think people want me to act
+ I'm really demanding and judgemental about other people
+ I'm really perfectionistic (when in contact with other people, not when I'm alone)
+ thirst for adventure!
+ I have a really firm opinion
+ I always try to create a positive harminious relationship with everyone I meet, I want them to like me.

INFJ
+ need for depth rather than broadness
+ need to withdraw at times and to let my Ni process everything
+ I see how false the society is and I loathe all the superfical and materialistic things human has absorbed.. back to nature!
+ attraction towards everything mystical
+ intensity on interaction
+ I'm lonely in crowds and never seem to get a real connection with people

I think I'm INFJ at the base but act ENFJ when I'm around people. It is like I created this just to survive when I was little. Being in the ENFJ zone drains my energy and doesn't give me satisfaction. It is more a struggle to survive in the outside world. I think most INFJ's doesn't care a lot about what other people think and can stay in there imaginary world. For me it is the other way around, I care to much and i tend to lose my inner world when interacting with people, sadly!! Also I tend to be very perfectionistic and firm opiniated when I'm in the ENFJ zone, but in the rare occations were I can be INFJ I'm softer, more feeling and less firm.
Do you think that I'm INFJ or ENFJ?

 

[VH]

Do you think that I'm INFJ or ENFJ?

It sounds like you are just like me, which is an INFJ who has learned how to put on the ENFJ mode. I am very surprised to find out that there are a few others like me.

I think we are Ambiverted instead of introverted or extroverted. Maybe we are ANFJs? But my guess is that we are INFJs with well developed secondary functions.

 

[Morgain]

But my guess is that we are INFJs with well developed secondary functions.

yep I think so to. In my case I think that the Fe in me is so well developed because the Ni was never accepted or understood by my environment. So I hide the Ni. It is acctually a problem for me because being Fe all the time gives me the feeling that I never can be true to myself, be who I really are. Allthough I try to be Ni, I'm always pushed to the Fe. It is sad, hurtfull and despairing. no wonder that I'm angry with the world so often.

do you feel this to? To me you sound more happy with your well developed Fe than me...

 

[Gaze]

Hi Van Hase,
I've been reading your tread with great interest. I can really relate on your struggle. I have also been struggling with my strong Fe. Especialy in groups I seem to lose my Ni and go on with Fe. And now I'm doubting wether maybe I am ENFJ instead of INFJ:

ENFJ
+ I craving for interaction
+ I need to assert my self, prove my value, dominate, be admired
+ I'm always concerned about how people think about me and I act the way I think people want me to act
+ I'm really demanding and judgemental about other people
+ I'm really perfectionistic (when in contact with other people, not when I'm alone)
+ thirst for adventure!
+ I have a really firm opinion
+ I always try to create a positive harminious relationship with everyone I meet, I want them to like me.

INFJ
+ need for depth rather than broadness
+ need to withdraw at times and to let my Ni process everything
+ I see how false the society is and I loathe all the superfical and materialistic things human has absorbed.. back to nature!
+ attraction towards everything mystical
+ intensity on interaction
+ I'm lonely in crowds and never seem to get a real connection with people

I think I'm INFJ at the base but act ENFJ when I'm around people. It is like I created this just to survive when I was little. Being in the ENFJ zone drains my energy and doesn't give me satisfaction. It is more a struggle to survive in the outside world. I think most INFJ's doesn't care a lot about what other people think and can stay in there imaginary world. For me it is the other way around, I care to much and i tend to lose my inner world when interacting with people, sadly!! Also I tend to be very perfectionistic and firm opiniated when I'm in the ENFJ zone, but in the rare occations were I can be INFJ I'm softer, more feeling and less firm.
Do you think that I'm INFJ or ENFJ?

You sound so much like me. Seriously.

 

[futuresound7]

I think I lean more towards being extrovert.
but the funny thing is that I feel Ni is my primary state of being,
I'm more intuitive than feeler and more perceiver than a judger,
flexible, adaptable and ready to chance my view on my perceptions,
than the J-function dominants I know. So I'm definitely not ENFJ.

My dominant function is introverted but I don't have much anxiety and problems socialising,
actually I need the stimulation that it brings to feel fulfilled.

Extroversion vs Introversion


Talk first, think later- Think first, act later

Like going to parties and prefer to talk with many versus a few - Share special occasions with one person or perhaps a few close friends

May read or have conversations with noise or distractions in the background - Enjoy the peace and quiet of having time to themselves

Find listening more difficult than talking - Are perceived as great listeners

Verbally find their way back when they lose their train of thought - Rehearse things and prefer that others do the same

Express views - Keep opinions to themselves

Seek social contact - Seek privacy

Interact with the environment - Concentrate on thoughts

Develop ideas out loud - Express conclusions

Need affirmation from friends and associates - Believe talk is cheap

I'm pretty much equally both and can go far without need to recharge.
albeit big groups of unfamiliar people can shut me down quickly.
I'm comfortable in big groups of people I know well,
and somewhat in small groups of strangers

The enneagram and instinctual variant stacking also brought some insight:

Sexual/Social


This subtype of Nine may appear least like a stereotypical Nine,
because the outward sexual and social energies obscure some of the withdrawing,
and "zoning out" tendencies of the Nine. These Nines are the most connected,
and assertive of the subtypes of Nine, especially when it comes to relationships.
There is still some internal struggle, as with the sexual/self-pres,
but overall there is less of a tendency to withdraw. With the self-pres instinct last,
this subtype can neglect self-preservational needs in favor of the intensity
of their sexual instinct's pursuits. Individuals of this subtype could
easily be mistaken for the dominant wing, because the sexual energy tends to flow
in a manner similar to the energy of the wing. A Nine with a One wing would therefore
appear more One-like and a Nine with Eight might be mistaken for an Eight.

sexual=assertive, intensive
social=compliant, gracious, concentrate on status
self-preservation=withdrawn, safety, comfort, well-being

MBTI doesn't tell who we are and how we will act. it gives structure and tells
how we operate with the world.
Who we are is so much more than our functions, we are combination of our inborn
genes, our surroundings, and how we accommodate our type with our environment.
personally I enjoy immensely to look people as different function layers.
It's like candy for my Ni

if we mix all personality measurement tests and theorys we'll have thousands of types

 

[Morgain]

You sound so much like me. Seriously.

wauw there actually excist someone like me :kiss:

Do you also experience that you can get so lost in trying to please everyone around you that you lose connection with your inner self and don't remember your own view on things because there voices are overscreeming it in your head?

 

[Gaze]

After more research, it's doubtful I'm ENFJ. Probably no surprise there. But it's nice to consider other options.

 

[Pristinegirl]

The likeliest reason for this is that you're growing as a person, and developing cognitive functions that you hadn't before.

ENFPs use Ne, Fi, Te, and Si.

When they are young, their Ne is the strongest function. Because it is a P function, ENFPs generally score very high on P.

As ENFPs get older, they develop their Fi and Te functions more and more. These two are both J functions. At some point, they can seem to outweigh your Ne.

Once you get these functions properly developed, you'll finish developing your Si, at which point you'll firmly be back into P, as this is also a P function and will balance the Fi and Te.

In other words, you're a perfectly normal and healthy ENFP.



Interestingly enough, this pattern is similar for INFJs, who are Ni, Fe, Ti, and Se. We tend to start out with a lean toward P because Ni is a P function, then go more J because Fe and Ti are J functions, and end up very close to a balanced point between J and P when we develop our Se.

Aww wow I'm amazed Thank you for assuring me that I am the way I should be Von Hase!! I now remember why I was so attracted and fascinated by mbti in the first place. Altogether in the midst of it all, we are all constantly developing without even realising it.

I'm wondering though if it then is possible to have very well developed J functions such as Fe, even though ENFPs are Fi? If so, would that simply be ambiversion of auxiliary functions?

 

[VH]

Aww wow I'm amazed Thank you for assuring me that I am the way I should be Von Hase!! I now remember why I was so attracted and fascinated by mbti in the first place. Altogether in the midst of it all, we are all constantly developing without even realising it.

I'm wondering though if it then is possible to have very well developed J functions such as Fe, even though ENFPs are Fi? If so, would that simply be ambiversion of auxiliary functions?

Ne + Fi can work in tandem to create a shadow function of Ni and/or Fe, and when they do so, there is always a lean toward an ambiversion effect, and in the case of ENFPs a lean toward being more J. This is not at all uncommon with NF types from what I've been reading.

 

[VH]

I've been looking at my cognitive function results lately, and I'm holding myself to the standard I use to measure others, and it has become clear that the only fact about my MBTI that I know for certain is that I am an NF type of some sort.

I've realized that I could be an NFP of some sort. I'm always coming up with possibilities and might do this more often than come up with answers, and it is just as likely that I'm Fi with a strong sense of how I feel things should be.

Here's two things that I considered tonight, with respect to me possibly being an NFP.

- My theory on how cognitive functions work in tandem to create shadow functions might actually be working in reverse. Instead of my Ni and Fe combining to make strong Ne and Fi, I might actually be Ne and Fi, with them working together to make strong Ni and Fe.

- I've been thinking a lot about whether I was an introvert or extrovert as a child, and in the process I hadn't considered something obvious... whether or not I was even an NFJ as a kid. My NFP friends remind me a lot more of myself as a kid than my NFJ friends. Looking back, I would be hard pressed to decide if I was an INFJ, ENFJ, ENFP, or INFP. In fact, I am starting to believe that I was an INFP as a child always lost in my imagination and fantasy world, became an ENFP due to being tired of not having any friends and in doing so flipped my N and F preferences, then later shifted to INFJ due to stressors requiring me to become more J which flipped my introvert and extrovert preferences across the board.

And then there's the most important part of this realization...

If all of this is true, then I don't believe that shadow functions are really shadow functions. I am starting to see that they are in fact real functions, and that they are just the result of the midpoint between two other functions - which means that all cognitive functions are tandem functions, and our preferences are simply preferences. And this means that every human mind can adapt and grow into a different set of preferences. Literally. It's just less common for this to happen because it requires the mind to put forth a great deal of effort, and therefore doesn't happen unless 'forced' by external stressors. The human mind is an incredibly adaptive system, but it will always follow the path of least resistance that it can get away with, for efficiency's sake. In other words, Jung's theories are sound, just more adaptive than anyone is giving them credit.

Edit: For the record I don't care which type I actually am and have no stake in my best fit type other than to figure out which one it really is, but I do believe I am an INFJ now, whether or not I always was, and I am acknowledging the fact that I may have always been. Here are reasons why.

- I have never been able to turn my mind off voluntarily for longer than I can remember. It is always running, whether I want it to or not. I believe this to be a clear manifestation of Ni dominance. A lot of my Ni dominant friends have expressed this symptom, and none of my Ni secondaries have. But, I also think this could be a biproduct of Ne dominance, as my Ne dominant friends also seem to experience this with some regularity.

- I cannot leave something alone. I have to perfect any errors that I notice, if at all possible. A great example of this is the fact that I edit almost all of my posts, very Ti and Fe. However, I also do this because I think of something that needs to be added, which is an Ne trait.

- I judge people, places, and things into groups and classifications whether I mean to or not. While I don't operate in social currency, my world does function based on the roles in which I see things. I've just learned to allow them to have a lot of flex room and overlap. It's complicated, but I understand it.

- I honestly think I'm more Se than Si, as well as more Ti than Te. People who have strong Si frustrate the hell out of me because I cannot rationalize how anyone could be so closed minded. People who have a strong Te fascinate me because I have a lot of trouble making those sorts of logic steps. So, while I can't decide if I'm more Ni, Ne, Fi, or Fe. I can decide that I'm more Se and Ti than Si and Te, which makes me believe that I'm actually an NFJ, and because I am certain that I'm iNtuition dominant, I'm therefore an INFJ.

- I really can't seem to shake this quest for certainty with the MBTI, even though I fully know that there is no such thing with a self assessment personality system that is deliberately vague and open ended. I've seen time and again a lot of the INFJs here do the exact same thing. That's a very J trait. While the NFPs try to shuck labels, the NFJs go out of their way to make sure everything is properly labeled. It seems to me that this is a good litmus for ENFJ and INFJ. ENFJs are more concerned with labelling everyone else, and INFJs are more concerned with labelling themselves. I'm still kicking around the possibility of another type.

But... whatever I am, INFJ, ENFJ, or even ENFP, or INFP, it's really a tough call, and that's likely because I I really can't decide if Ni, Ne, Fi, or Fe are my preferences. And I have no idea why that is exactly. My best fit type seems to be INFJ, but only by a little more than ENFJ, ENFP, and INFP, and I'd be really hard pressed to come up with an order for them. There's a part of me that doesn't want to be an INFJ because I've seen so many people on these forums who were clearly just confused about their type, or worse just want to be part of the elite little club of the rarest type. ENFJ seems cooler to me. INFP seems sweeter to me. ENFP seems more like the jackass I can be. I'm realizing that I'm much more self focused than I ever assumed, and that my Fi is really strong. It's just tempered with a healthy dose of Fe, maybe even a majority of it. The same is true with my Ne. I have a lot more of it than previously considered, and it might be stronger than my Ni. I just don't know right now. If I am an NFP who has a strong J streak, it is highly possible that I've deluded myself into thinking I'm something that I'm not. The only thing that I know for sure is that I'm rambling. Good night.

 

[Blind Bandit]

Very interesting stuff Von.

I wish I was ENFJ. Still keep a lot of things I like about my self but have an easier time dealing with social stuff.

Oh and being rare is an overrate label. Just like being special.

 

[]L%;Zwnj]

when i'm depressed and alone and sad and suicidal, i think i'm an INFJ
but when everything turns out alright, i feel so different...

i don't really know what I am.. i think i'm an INFJ/INFP or some extrovert or introverted extrovert

is this an INFJ trait? i think it kinda is or not
like when i'm in a social gathering i'd be really shy but when i'm with my close friends,
it's like i could talk to everyone there and start being an extrovert..

like in class or gathering, i am quite active and noisy..(if i know the people well)

I am just like this. Why are we like that...?

 

[Pristinegirl]

Ne + Fi can work in tandem to create a shadow function of Ni and/or Fe, and when they do so, there is always a lean toward an ambiversion effect, and in the case of ENFPs a lean toward being more J. This is not at all uncommon with NF types from what I've been reading.

I see, that is so interesting!! I learned so much from this thread!
I have learned to spot which functions are at work during certain moments, even those I once thought I didnt have xD Thank you

 

[Raccoon Love]

Very interesting stuff Von!!Though this cognitive functions is what confuse a lot. I have a very strong Ne which is almost paired evenly with my Ni, My Fi is also stronger than my Fe, My Si is more or less equal to my Se and my Ti is stronger than my Te...this leads me to some sort of confusion of what I really am, I been thinking I'm a INXX, and I tested INFJ,INFP,INTJ,and INTP multiple times..My J being very weak and my F not far behind, not to mention the fact that My Ni and Ne are both my highest which makes me even doubt I'm an Introvert do to my cognitive functions even though I relate a lot more to Introversion, if I were Ne dominant instead won't this make me an ENFP? Ne>Fi? specially since my Fi is stronger than my Fe. then I notice that I instead might be an INFP since I could possibly go Fi>Ne easely..I scored hiegher on Fi before than Ne or Ni, then comes INTP as I realized that my Ti is also very strong(Much more than my Te), my unsual high Ne score and the fact that Fe is last..i tend to score not so well on Fe..Then comes the fact that I might be an INTJ since My Ni is my strongest function after all, and though my Te score is not the best, it's at times stronger than my Fe, not to mention INTJ have Fi which I relate to more...

 

[IndigoSensor]

Very interesting indeed. I still think you're a J type though. You are no NFP. I actually think it is common for children to act slightly different then their final type.

Honestly, this makes me think everyone should come up with their own personal variation/edits for MBTI to fully work for them.