INFJ and Emotional Intelligence

I would say there's nothing "stereotypical" about that, and that's an extraverted bias --- being focused inward and diminishing the outside can lead to a perfectly rich, interesting life. That doesn't mean anyone is a pure introvert and to the extent they can handle the outside, they do. There's nothing "wrong" or "crap" about being more single-handedly focused inward as long as it doesn't affect your ability to get by. Not everyone needs to thrive by going outside.

As for emotion/feelings, you aren't necessarily reading the meaning of something being unconscious the same way I am. Unconscious doesn't mean you cannot experience something in consciousness, more that the effect is known consciously but the process has a greater unconscious component, which is most definitely true of a lot of emotional output we know. The subtlety is we can develop the more primitive outputs of such unconscious processes (or even the more complex ones) using a feeling function into nuanced worldviews.

For similar analogy, to say the function of sensation is unconscious does not mean that one does not have lots of sensations one experiences in consciousness, merely (similar to what you write), that it has not been assimilated as a conscious process.

The difference here though is emotion is not even meant to be a conscious function in entirety, as a lot of it is more automated and beneath the surface. This part of our mind interacts fruitfully with consciousness though.
 
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I also realize this is one of the difficulties with type definitions --- a definition is pure, but a person is rarely pure. So when I define introversion a certain way, that is talking of the pure case, but the real life case is never pure and stands in between --- it's certainly not intended to diminish what introverts can and do accomplish in the outside realm, merely their motives, decisive influences and so forth tend to be significantly more inner. And I'm also a no-judge type. If someone doesn't want to make their inner fantasy a reality, that's fine -- the richness of the fantasy is sometimes enough.
 
I believe that INFJs are born autistic and die autistic. It is how we compensate that leads to the social chameleon.
 
Oh my gosh, the main reason I believed myself to be completely alone in a world full of people different from myself was that I read everyone. Every movement a person makes IS done so deliberately. Therefore, you can trace the reason for any gesture, glance, or other action (no matter how slight) back to some external trigger.

I often catch myself looking around the room in a group setting any time anyone says anything. I soak up people's responses to things; a suppressing blink here, eyebrows furrowing there. I interpret these subtle or not-so-subtle reactions and piece together an emotional mapping of how everyone is perceiving the exchange going on. I can even go so far as to map out over time the personalities of those in the room by watching and reading everyone long enough. An example of the process: "Oh, she didn't like that comment... Or that one. She must have aversions to ____ or ____." This is mostly all done subconsciously. It's rather annoying that way, as when I say something using this knowledge I can't explain where it came from if questioned.

When I became aware of MBTI, and took tests to find my own, I was INFJ. When I did research on my type, I was amazed. Everything they said matched. Suddenly I no longer felt like an alien. In fact, I felt rare and unique. It boosted my self-esteem. And when I found this website, full of people like myself, well... It felt like Christmas.
 
Done deliberately? I don't see what you mean. I see what's there in front of me. Nothing more, nothing less. ;p

I don't know how being alone would make anyone feel better.

The best example for the stuff we do is Sherlock Holmes deduction. Say I say something that offends you. I know it offends you because of context clues. Not because of your expression per-say, but because I was taught (more learned) that you frowning is not good, thus I can apply that information. How do I know? I rely on my own knowledge of how I would act. Nothing ambiguous about it. I like the comparison to Sherlock Holmes, although I prefer Mycroft. I never saw the TV show. I'm going by the book character.

This means in an unfamiliar environment, we are not very good with people. If this pisses people off, we're screwed. Once we learn, though, we become the best. My emotional intelligence is only above average. I might take apart the test to learn what the optimal choices are. Probably not, but I could.
 
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Emotional Intelligence. Conceptualized by psychologists like Michael Beldoch, formulated by John Mayer & Peter Salovey, and later popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman, EQ includes four key competencies which then have further sub-competencies:

  • Emotional awareness
  • Self-assessment
  • Self-confidence
  • Conscientiousness
  • Self-control
  • Trustworthiness
  • Commitment
  • Adaptability
  • Empathy
  • Attunement
  • Empathic accuracy
  • Social cognition
  • Synchrony
  • Self-presentation
  • Influence
  • Concern
 
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