INFJ Defenses

T-shirts, coffee mugs, posters, PICTURE BOOKS OF BEAUTIFUL INFJ PHOTOS, postcards, pens...

I'd buy the mug and pens for sure. And if someone takes me seriously regarding the picture books, I'd buy that too (once I had the money).

Cafe press, awayyyyy!
 
no need for cafe press...

If there's real interest, then shop.infjs.com might become a reality.
 
Books, of course, with INFJ authors (specially if the writer belongs to our forum), paintings, drawings, cartooms, Scifi, anything made by an INFJ are welcome (and the honorary INFJs LOL)
To be continued...
 
Actually, that sounds really cool :0 I'd help make some stuff for that
 
I am the champion of muteness. When I feel like someone is trying too hard to get something out of me, I will quickly turn inside out. But it's not uncommon for me to do this when I feel like no one is really listening to me.
 
If I feel or know someone is trying to manipulate me I will go mute and withdraw from them.
 
I keep people away be seeming like the happiest person, like, ever. Then when they get to me I fight them off with loads of negativity. It's not a good thing either.
 
I'm new here, but wanted to chime in.

For me there are several different types of silent withdrawal depending on the situation and my relationship to the person that I am withdrawing from.

Like so many before me have noted, I have to be very careful not to react as I have the ability to be quite hurtful. A great irony of being an INFJ is that because we are generally so empathetic, seeing someone else in pain causes us pain. In my experience at least, this is compounded ten times by the knowledge that someone is hurting and it is my fault. So I bite my tongue and retreat before things get hostile.

Other people have also mentioned giving themselves time to figure out the best way to express themselves. I also find that I often need the time to sort out my own feelings - this drives my boyfriend CRAZY because he thinks that I'm just changing my mind or harping on things when I come back later to address something that I couldn't articulate before.

When I'm dealing with people I don't care about, though, I will withdraw simply because it's not worth the effort. Like sumone, I shut down at the slightest hint of manipulation. This is why I HATE dealing with salespeople and why I was such a disaster during my short stint in the military - initiation rites and hazing are all about manipulation.
 
I absolutely stay quiet rather than have unfiltered words come from my mouth. What good is speech if it has no thought behind it? Why say something just to respond to another person's emotional outburst?

Why waste my energy on getting angry when I can take the information given, sift through it, and figure out what is really going on?

People don't believe that I don't get angry. I have been told (recently) that someone could see hatred and anger behind my eyes. Not true, I said. If you could REALLY see behind my eyes, you'd see sorrow and pity.
 
funny-pictures-angry-cat-in-bath.jpg
 
I also withdraw. Usually and depends on who I am with.
Like right now, I'm sitting across a person I really dont want to talk to now so I'm here posting:wink:

My good friends have seen me change personality so many times i think they're used to it. To them, one minute I'm the craziest sucker of the lot, the next no one better talk to me if they wanted to remain alive, the next I'm just me.

Usually, though, no one notices me when i withdraw. I just suddenly disappear and no one notices. Its one of those things I'm really greatful for. Thats one of the advantages of being termed "crazy" ;) Only my close friends and those that know me enough will notice somethings up.Other than that, everyone thinks i'm fine.
 
Is this something you can relate to? Is it something that should be overcome? Why do we do this?

yeah,
i think it is something to overcome because it's not a very good social skill at all, most people won't get why you do this and either be offended by it or think your cold or mean or just plain weird.
The thing is, you have to express yourself in words, you have got to communicate how you feel, even when it seems impossible to do, just try your best to get it out and tell them. because if you just keep it inside no one's ever going to know...and that's the thing...
if someone was being friendly to you and then suddenly you take offence to something they've said...and you go and don't talk to them for days or weeks...they won't get what they did wrong, they won't notice that they offended you, because they didn't try to, but...obviously we're a little more sensitive than others so we can get hurt easily....
but they don't know that.
not until you voice it out.
 
Anyone else sometimes fall guilty to what I call the "guilty as charged" syndrome? I wonder if this is an INFJ thing?

Well, what I do is, after a bad situation with somone, I try my best to learn the signs so as to learn from my mistakes and make the next relationship/friendship better with someone else.

Then, however, you come across someone who your intuition gives you a red-flag warning, saying "Watch out. This person reminds me of someone else bad from your past." And you can pinpoint exactly who that person is. But then being the nice, welcoming person you are, you welcome that new person in, hoping to not get burned and trying to be careful. But then eventually they do something that you very much suspected them of doing, and now all you can tell them is how much you knew and that you weren't surprised, eventually severing ties once more?

It's like, you want to give a new person a chance (Fe), but your intuition's telling you it's not right. Like an inner conflict. And when it proves itself to be true you hide away? If that makes any sense.
 
Obstinate said:
Anyone else sometimes fall guilty to what I call the "guilty as charged" syndrome? I wonder if this is an INFJ thing?

Well, what I do is, after a bad situation with somone, I try my best to learn the signs so as to learn from my mistakes and make the next relationship/friendship better with someone else.

Then, however, you come across someone who your intuition gives you a red-flag warning, saying "Watch out. This person reminds me of someone else bad from your past." And you can pinpoint exactly who that person is. But then being the nice, welcoming person you are, you welcome that new person in, hoping to not get burned and trying to be careful. But then eventually they do something that you very much suspected them of doing, and now all you can tell them is how much you knew and that you weren't surprised, eventually severing ties once more?

It's like, you want to give a new person a chance (Fe), but your intuition's telling you it's not right. Like an inner conflict. And when it proves itself to be true you hide away? If that makes any sense.
Click to expand...

I could have written this myself!
 
I withdraw until the storm has passed and then try to draw the other person out to understand what just happened, at least if it's someone I know and love.
 
I shut-up for three reasons.

1. The other person is out of control and not going to listen.
2. Because as mentioned I will strike to the core with my words, and I don't want hurt the person just because I'm angry.
3. Physical self-defense when I sense I might be hit or beaten by the person who is out of control. Sort of the "live to fight another day" response.

Sounds like most INFJ do this, for whatever their reasons.
 
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