INFJ ignoring INTJ

Exactly! [MENTION=3960]Seraphin[/MENTION] INTJs, like INFJs tend to have these deep intense gazes... it's awesome, but it's unnerving, because we don't know what to say, & we feel like you're looking right into us. My INTJ warmed me up to him by hanging with me around mutual friends, writing to me, & sometimes we talk in the dark, or not facing each other, because it's not so intense & I can talk more freely without feeling like he's inspecting me, or something, lol.
 
purplecrayons said:
Exactly! [MENTION=3960]Seraphin[/MENTION] INTJs, like INFJs tend to have these deep intense gazes... it's awesome, but it's unnerving, because we don't know what to say, & we feel like you're looking right into us. My INTJ warmed me up to him by hanging with me around mutual friends, writing to me, & sometimes we talk in the dark, or not facing each other, because it's not so intense & I can talk more freely without feeling like he's inspecting me, or something, lol.
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My hubby (INTJ) can see straight through me, im not good at hiding my feelings from people I know well, and trying to always 'put the face on' is too emotionally draining, so I let myself just be me only with close people I trust. I don't mind him seeing me like that, although I do tend to feel naked which can be scary.
 
So we pinned down that some INFJs freeze up or seemed detached towards men they like. But why is that? The NFs I know don't exhibit that behavior.
 
Well in my case I get nervous, which makes shyness even worse, I have no idea how to act/what to say, so I jut stand their silent and hope he goes away soon lol.
 
I sometimes have a hard time getting along with male INTJs.

It is most often hit or miss with them.
 
Bird said:
I sometimes have a hard time getting along with male INTJs.

It is most often hit or miss with them.
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Same, from what I have noticed. It seems I often find them obnoxious and arrogant, but occasionally this obnoxious arrogance comes off in an attractive sort of way (as odd as that sounds). But most of the time it just makes me roll my eyes.
 
Jill Hives said:
but occasionally this obnoxious arrogance comes off in an attractive sort of way
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Can you elaborate on that? How is it different from that arrogance that makes you "roll your eyes"? Or better question: What makes it attractive? The confidence perhaps?
 
technics said:
Can you elaborate on that? How is it different from that arrogance that makes you "roll your eyes"? Or better question: What makes it attractive? The confidence perhaps?
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It is hard to pinpoint exactly, but some people seem to have this charisma or skill in which they can be "arrogant" (or maybe it is just confidence) and it actually works for them. I've seen some others try to wear this attitude and it just fails miserably. It is probably a combination of things really, and it's all likely rather subjective. What I find to be an attractive sort of cocky confidence might be really obnoxious to someone else.
 
If we know there is kindness underneath the arrogance. That it is mainly for humor's sake. What I love about INTJ men is that they seem to know their self worth. That confidence is sexy to me.
 
purplecrayons said:
If we know there is kindness underneath the arrogance. That it is mainly for humor's sake. What I love about INTJ men is that they seem to know their self worth. That confidence is sexy to me.
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It was my INTJ friend who told be about MBTI. So it's thanks to him that I'm here :-)

I've never perceived him as arrogant just self-confident in an understated way. It's not in your face.

Other NTJs that I've known I haven't had any real connection with they have come over as arrogant to me. I tend to gravitate towards INTPs. I haven't really met many ENTPs. I think that NTs are generally speaking full of themselves but it can be sexy like purplecrayons says as long as it's not ott.

What I've noticed is that some NTs have figured out how to be themselves whilst leaving others the space to be themselves.
 
Lea said:
It was my INTJ friend who told be about MBTI. So it's thanks to him that I'm here :-)

I've never perceived him as arrogant just self-confident in an understated way. It's not in your face.

Other NTJs that I've known I haven't had any real connection with they have come over as arrogant to me. I tend to gravitate towards INTPs. I haven't really met many ENTPs. I think that NTs are generally speaking full of themselves but it can be sexy like purplecrayons says as long as it's not ott.

What I've noticed is that some NTs have figured out how to be themselves whilst leaving others the space to be themselves.
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Well, I think these guys don't quite have the same definition of arrogance as we have. Even mild sarcasm is viewed as a devious arrogant plot against the republic.
 
[MENTION=4127]Lea[/MENTION] "What I've noticed is that some NTs have figured out how to be themselves whilst leaving others the space to be themselves."


THIS.
 
technics said:
Hello! :-) Do female INFJ often ignore men when they're interested in them? I know one INFJ who seems to be interested in me, but I approached her once and she simply ignored me. She was just standing there as if she was frozen.
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This is typically my M.O.

Except I'm not really ignoring... I'm conducting a non-participant observation until interaction is deemed... a good idea.
 
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She definitely could be interested. When I dislike a guy, I do not ignore him ever unless he's hitting on me in a sleazy way. If I just dislike him, I'm a total sarcastic asshole and roll my eyes a lot. If I am interested in a guy and he approaches me suddenly, I freeze or am just stiff, awkward, and confused.

There was another thread about how to approach INFJs I think, I remember suggesting not just walking up and saying 'Hi.' That's a lot of pressure for the INFJ. Maybe just give her a compliment as you pass by, be friendly, smile and keep on walking. This might help her not feel like she'll be locked into an awkward situation with you and she can warm up to the idea of you on her own time. When guys interact with me for the first time that way, I find myself thinking of them positively and hoping I run into them again because it was 1) painless, 2) pleasant, and 3) brief. Plus, I feel like the guy and I already have some kind of safe area or comfort zone and that they aren't going to do something unpredictable.

Keep trying! Freezing isn't always a bad thing :)
 
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[MENTION=564]acd[/MENTION] & [MENTION=3900]Chamomile[/MENTION] Yes, yes, agreed!!!
 
I ignore INTJs for completely different reasons, heh.

Seriously though, it's very unlikely you have a class full of INFJs. Even a class full of NFs is unlikely. The assumption that this person is an INFJ, is very illogical. Before seeking advice on an INFJ female's perspective, I'd suggest confirming that she is one. An INFJ is likely interested in psychology and such, so why not break the ice by asking her if she's ever taken the Myers Briggs, and if so what her type is?

However, don't overestimate simple curiosity from an INFJ. INTJs project a really odd vibe to us INFJs, and if she's not especially familiar with that vibe, she may just be trying to understand it. Also, it frequently appears 'evil' to us upon initial contact (as Fi often pings selfish and Te appears cruel: see Beebe's theories on shadow functions), until we learn differently. I have been known to stare at INTJs (especially back before I understood them) which caused them to assume romantic interest, and trust me there was none. In fact, they were so emotionally repulsive to me that I couldn't stop looking. Then again, an INFJ female might see that as strength and be attracted to it until she learns otherwise.

Edit: Also note that I now have some very close INTJ friends who I've gotten to know over the years, and now that I understand them, I very much love these friends. I'm just explaining that it took me a while to get over this apprehension.
 
Goodness, INTJs leave me in stitches with their humor!! I am so drawn to them... zero avoidance here. :) Probably... unless you make me really nervous with those tractor beam eyes... *twirls hair & looks away*
 
*visibly shaken*
 
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