INFJ + INFP friendships

Morgain, she was definetly an INFP I knew her for years and she was a strong I. As I said before the fact that everyone knew about her feelings was a sorta accident at first and after that she didnt bother to hide it anymore.

Now dont get me wrong, Im not saying that all INFPs are selfish because of their Fi, it just seemed so to me, but you cleared that up. Besides Ive only known that one INFP and she was probably an unhealthy one so Im not generalizing it. I would really like to get to konw healthy INFPs in real life. But NFs are a bit rare there, which is really sad.
 
acd said:
I'm actually easy going and pretty much go with the flow and do whatever the group wants to do, because ordinarily, I don't really care that much about details.

[etc.]
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I think the difference between you and Morgain on this can be at least partly explained by your different enneagram types, as a type 9 has an emphasis on maintaining harmony, whereas a type 4's emphasis is on maintaining their uniqueness/individuality.
 
DefectiveCreative said:
I think the difference between you and Morgain on this can be at least partly explained by your different enneagram types, as a type 9 has an emphasis on maintaining harmony, whereas a type 4's emphasis is on maintaining their uniqueness/individuality.
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You mean to say that not all INFP's/INFJ's/ENFJ's etc. are the same?! *shocked*

:P
 
Right. Fi is different to varying degrees person to person (and the other functions.. but we were talking about Fi before.)
 
acd said:
Right. Fi is different to varying degrees person to person (and the other functions.. but we were talking about Fi before.)
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As is Fe. Ni. Te. Ne. Ti. Se. and Si.

We've zeroed in on the essence of MBTI theory today. I feel accomplished.

Edit: You edited your post to include other functions just half a second before I replied. :)
 
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acd said:
Right. Fi is different to varying degrees person to person (and the other functions.. but we were talking about Fi before.)
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Very important point to consider. I think we too often think the functions work or operate the same in everyone. And they don't. We, are at the end of the day, individuals. The functions will manifest differently in each of us.
 
I am best friends with a woman who types as INFJ, and this man who types as INFP is blessed to know and love her, and be known and loved by her. :thumb:


cheers,
Ian
 
My current best friend is an INFP, she's very close to her family and considers me her sister. She is very self less and kind. We don't always see eye-to-eye because she and I think in different manners, but I don't think that I have ever met someone who knew me so well inside and out the way she does. :) She encourages me to try new things and I encourage/help her to plan for the important things. It's a very nice balance. The only downside is that we both can really get lost in our imaginations and forget that thge other person is there. And it's also kind of weird when we are both simultaneously reading each other.
 
My sister is my best friend. She's definitely an INFP. The great thing about us is that we grew up with eachother, so our imaginations are pretty much parallel to eachother. It's gotten to the point that we understand eachother on such a deep level that we have a very unique conversation style. We finish eachother's sentences, and if either one of us has a hard time communicating something, we can usually understand what the other person meant anyway.

Also, when she has a problem, she knows I'll be there to listen. Sometimes we end up talking through an issue for several hours. Usually I'm the only one with the patience to deal with the complex emotions she faces, but I have to admit that it's often overwhelming.

She also helps me to consider doing things I wouln't normally do, and inspires me to meet my potential and go after things, and helps me out of a rut; while I encourage her to not give up and to put things into perspective, especially when it comes to considering the needs of everyone.

Basically, though, we understand eachother like nobody else could.
 
It didn't work for me as an INFJ having an INFP friend. She consistently misinterpreted and/or misunderstood me and attributed only negative motivations to me when I didn't match up with/meet her criteria for whatever. I am much more tolerant of and accepting of POVs that differ from my own than she is. In her world you think like her, believe as she does, act as she would act or you're poop-on-shoe and will be dealt with as such.
 
shahmeran said:
It didn't work for me as an INFJ having an INFP friend. She consistently misinterpreted and/or misunderstood me and attributed only negative motivations to me when I didn't match up with/meet her criteria for whatever. I am much more tolerant of and accepting of POVs that differ from my own than she is. In her world you think like her, believe as she does, act as she would act or you're poop-on-shoe and will be dealt with as such.
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Unfortunately, that is my experience as well. I am about to separate from an INFP friend because I am starting to feel uncomfortable around her but I still think she is a wonderful person with a good heart and I do not think Fi is selfish at all and I cannot judge anyone on this self focused matter either because I can be highly self absorbed too.
 
I have an INFP and fell for her really bad when we first met. The only thing that kept me off of her was my lack of experience at dating and her wedding ring. I had a chance to go on a trip to Europe with her when her marriage was on the rocks, but I decided not to since I didn't know her marriage was on the rocks. Good thing, though, since she was going to Europe to meet this other guy she liked, that she met online. I would have felt like a total dummy if I had gone. Interestingly, the day she left, is the day I met my now ex-girlfriend. It felt like one of those destiny things, like I made the right choice or something. Or maybe I made the wrong choice and my friendship with the INFP could have turned into something more. I really don't presume to know, nor have a clue one way or another on that.

As of now, I'm still friends with the INFP woman. She's strange, I think. She just goes and hangs out at random bars and goes to random parties people throw. It's like she has permeated multiple social groups, without any of them realizing she has other groups of friends. She's so quiet and unassuming.

I don't get along with her as well as I used to. Fi isn't something I can connect with in her at least, or maybe I am connecting, I just never get any feedback and it feels like my friendship is a one-way thing. I get the impression that she likes me a lot, she'll talk to me for hours on MSN, just like, we never hang out. Maybe she expects me to invite her to hang out?

Not that I'd know what to do if we did hang out... barhop together, I guess?
 
Honey said:
Unfortunately, that is my experience as well. I am about to separate from an INFP friend because I am starting to feel uncomfortable around her but I still think she is a wonderful person with a good heart and I do not think Fi is selfish at all and I cannot judge anyone on this self focused matter either because I can be highly self absorbed too.
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She was waaay more of a 'crusader' than I am in general, even though INFJs can be known for that. It's not a dominant trait in me, with rare exception. She was very quick to find offense on others' behalf, as much or more so than on behalf of herself. Offense where none was meant, I might add. She would also nurse a grudge as much as INFJs do, and plot to 'attack' on behalf of those grudges as well. IMO she was neither self-absorbed nor selfish, but highly self-righteous and dismissive of those whose views were different from her own. She was an INFP by Myers-Briggs official testing, so I'm not guessing her type. She does have a good heart, but I do not find her a wonderful person - but then, she didn't find me one either ;-)
 
Raccoon Love said:
People tend to associate Fi with selfishness when its not the case. I believe many of the differences INFP's and INFJ's have are due to simple misunderstandings, due to big difference in cognitive functions. We simply can't stay inside the MBTI box though, just like INFJ's believe certain things about INFP's, INFP's do the same. In the end it just makes the possibility of friendship impossible.
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I agree :) I always thought Fi was supposed to be about self-awareness - which I have, but is so much smaller than my understanding of others (I can seem so incredibly dumb when it comes to myself). I guess it's being able to know what makes you a certain way and so is a good implement for personal growth and development. It could be seen as selfishness, but only if the individual is 'unhealthy'. Each function has both good and bad, after all.
 
shahmeran said:
She was waaay more of a 'crusader' than I am in general, even though INFJs can be known for that. It's not a dominant trait in me, with rare exception. She was very quick to find offense on others' behalf, as much or more so than on behalf of herself. Offense where none was meant, I might add. She would also nurse a grudge as much as INFJs do, and plot to 'attack' on behalf of those grudges as well. IMO she was neither self-absorbed nor selfish, but highly self-righteous and dismissive of those whose views were different from her own. She was an INFP by Myers-Briggs official testing, so I'm not guessing her type. She does have a good heart, but I do not find her a wonderful person - but then, she didn't find me one either ;-)
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I can see that in myself too. Standing up on other peoples behalf (more than on mine). I concidered it a good tread :shocked:
One side note, it is not because no offense was intented that the other person can't be hurt or offended by what you say or do. Maybe the reason why INFP's stand up so quickly is because they have a strong radar for what can be offensive to others and what not?
 
shahmeran said:
She was waaay more of a 'crusader' than I am in general, even though INFJs can be known for that. It's not a dominant trait in me, with rare exception. She was very quick to find offense on others' behalf, as much or more so than on behalf of herself. Offense where none was meant, I might add. She would also nurse a grudge as much as INFJs do, and plot to 'attack' on behalf of those grudges as well. IMO she was neither self-absorbed nor selfish, but highly self-righteous and dismissive of those whose views were different from her own. She was an INFP by Myers-Briggs official testing, so I'm not guessing her type. She does have a good heart, but I do not find her a wonderful person - but then, she didn't find me one either ;-)
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Yup, this is my experience with most as well, and it drives me INSANE. The problem is if you express any disagreement with it, you are worse off then the person who caused the offence in the first place. I just can't deal with this kind of illogic. I get upset with people when they do something offensive, that I am cool with. The problem I have is how they approached it.
 
INFP: Wanna play vidya games?
Me: Sure.

The End.
 
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