INFJ male + XXXX female?

[Frugal Gourmet]

So I've been gleaning bits of (insightful) information from some posts this past week and lean towards agreeing with those who say that INFJ females are positively compatible with ENTP males while the same does not hold true for INFJ males.

In keeping with that, which type do you all feel is a better fit?

I think I was most passionately attracted, in my life thus far, to an INFJ female. I have found that I can have fun and short-lived flings (with plenty of sex) with the SP types. I think SJ's are too traditional for me to be excited or interested and don't know that I've had any sort of romantic interlude with any. I certainly find NT's attractive at times but often find them too cold and utilitarian and don't know that I've ever had any success there either. I've probably been most involved with NF's, ENFP's specifically, and wonder if ENFP/INFJ isn't the best option for me?

Gimme your input, there's no right answer for all of us, to be sure, but I'd like to hear what you have to comment

 

[Wyote]

Seems to me, for INFJ men a lot of different types can work out depending on the situation.

INTJ
INFJ
ENFP

Those seem like the great ones with ENFJ and INFP perhaps working well too. Let's not forget the S types though; ISFP, and even the occasional xSTP may work out.

Type isn't everything in relationships, and all sorts of pairings can work if both people are in it together as a team.

 

[This]

Intj

Infj and Infp may work well as well. Extroverts don't understand alone time very well.

 

[Peppermint]

Theoretically speaking a 'good' match for any type is a type which doesn't invalidate and suppress their top two functions.

So for INFJs you'd write off people who have dom or aux Si,Se,Te and perhaps Ti.

 

[Frugal Gourmet]

Good point, Last. I think this is probably my biggest hangup with the ENTP. I don't mind people being P's, it's really kinda fun. ISJ's can be a bit dull for me and ENJ's can be a bit too much as well. I think Introversion is the most difficult thing for E's to understand, and appreciate, and tolerate.

Also I guess it explains why I don't mind being single. It's actually more effort for me to Extrovert my way into a stable relationship

 

[Frugal Gourmet]

"dom or aux Si,Se,Te and perhaps Ti."


So, Peppermint, does that mean ISTJ/ESTJ? Does it include any N types? SPs? I'm not as well-versed in that terminology.

 

[Peppermint]

"dom or aux Si,Se,Te and perhaps Ti."


So, Peppermint, does that mean ISTJ/ESTJ? Does it include any N types? SPs? I'm not as well-versed in that terminology.

It means the INFJ is probably not going to have a rewarding relationship with the following types

ISTJ
ISFJ
INTJ
ESTP
ESFP
ESFJ
ESTJ
ENTJ
ISTP
INTP

 

[arbygil]

Really, when it comes down to it, it's whomever you get along with most, and you need to find someone with whom you share common traits/hobbies/activities/likes/etc. MBTI is essentially useless when it comes to dating because you'll never be sure of anyone until you get to know them. And even then, type may not play into it if you like their company enough.

I think you're better off asking wide, open-ended questions on the date, to see if the compatibility is there. Things like, "where do you see yourself in five years? Ten?" or "if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?" and even the quickfire, "pirates, or ninjas?" Ask what their hobbies are, what TV shows or movies they like, favorite activities...all these things come into play.

After all, you're looking for the ideal person, not the ideal type.

 

[Billy]

Agreed Arby, picking a mate based on type is absurd. I went out with an ISTJ girl for a while and she was awesome.

 

[VH]

Type is certainly not the only factor, and some people have better connectivity with people of types that aren't likely to work than people with types that should. There are no magical combos that always work, or cursed combos that never work. Everyone is an individual.

That said... type can be a strong factor toward or against the success of a long term relationship.

INFJ males have a good chance of harmonizing with INFJ, ENFJ, INTJ, INFP, ISTP, and ESTP females.
INFJ males have a poor chance of harmonizing with ESTJ, ISTJ, INTP, ENTP, ESFP and ENTJ females.
ISFP, ISFJ, ESFJ, and ENFP females seem to be in the middle for INFJ males.

(Note: this is based on what I've seen in my own life, and especially on these forums in the past few years.)

 

[James]

IMHO what matters most is what the two people have together, more than any mbti score. That chemistry or rapport is hard to understand, apart from the two people concerned. My wife is an entp on the mbti and we've been together for more than 10 years. I'd never heard about mbti when we met. Quite freaky that mbti describes infj/entp as a good match. As for the male infj doesn't work with female entp I hadn't heard that one before. But if my wife is giving me any grief in future I'll point it out to her, and use this thread as evidence.. (joke).

 

[Razare]

I look at it from the point of view, "What do I refuse to date?" After that, it leaves handful of types I might be willing to try.

I only date with long-term intent, though. If I were open to flings, I guess I wouldn't care that much.

INFJ, ENFP, and ISFJ are the main types I am open to trying.

ENFJ's might work for some of us, but not me personally. I would be open to the right sort of INTJ woman too.

 

[Trent]

I have had two long-term relationships: ESTP & ESTJ. With the ESTP I had two sons. We were friends for a year. Became boyfriend/girlfriend. Broke up. Reconciled. Married. It seemed to work. She was a lot of fun, but I did not have spiritual connection with her and she pretty much never got me. At the time I was also INTJ. I grew into ENTJ and met my second, ESTJ. At the time, I did not realize deep down inside I was not feeling my feelings and that I was an outgoing introvert. Long story short, I regressed to INFJ like when I was a boy I believe. The directness of an ESTJ, at least her, over and over and over was daunting. The crazy part is I felt closer to her just praying than I ever did having sex with the ESTP. Go figure. The relationship with the ESTJ to me at least was a bit supernatural. Given my personal history, I have met an ENFP. Her Ne and my Ni over miles and miles connected. It was extremely crazy. I've noticed (for me) when I meet Ni/Ne females at times our intuition kind of co-mingles and it becomes somewhat amplified and stirred up.

 

[charlatan]

I would mistrust any theory that tries to pair people up based mostly on these 8-function models. I think socionics has some great theoretical ideas, but it is heavily and horribly lacking in its empirical claims to the point where it better not even make them.
It's cool for abstract statements about ways people value information/their philosophies, but pretty bad for a lot of the more standard aspects of personality, strictly inferior to the Big 5 and other such highly regarded academically regarded psychometric instruments.

It's worth noting Jung, socionics, Myers, Grant, Beebe all have different models. I'd treat models more like religions with followings than like scientifically validated things.

I do currently type as a ILE in socionics, but that's my own reflected version of the stuff, and hardly without changing aspects of the theory to suit my desires. I'd have no objection if someone ignored it entirely and instead studied more empirical tools--if you're talking relationships, I suggest being realistic rather than spinning esoteric nonsense.

Note that UNLIKE those who claim their models as having some kind of basis in reality, I just treat them as philosophical statements-- based on definitions and interesting rationalistic intuitions. When you take philosophical statements and start projecting them as the nature of reality, rather than turning to science, often you get religious followings based on blind faith.