INFJ males....

Thoth, and/or Shai Gar, how do YOU tell if an ifnj girl likes you? Generally if I like a guy I will do everything in my power to hide it from him. I'm amazed I've ever had a date, to be perfectly honest. Hah.

And if a guy is interested in me, I am generally so oblivious he has to smack me over the head with a two by four to let me know. I really do need it spelled out. Usually several times. In a few languages, including binary.
 
MyPetZombie said:
Thoth, and/or Shai Gar, how do YOU tell if an ifnj girl likes you? Generally if I like a guy I will do everything in my power to hide it from him. I'm amazed I've ever had a date, to be perfectly honest. Hah.

And if a guy is interested in me, I am generally so oblivious he has to smack me over the head with a two by four to let me know. I really do need it spelled out. Usually several times. In a few languages, including binary.
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I... uh... don't think I've ever met one to be honest. Or if I did, I didn't notice her a)taking an interest, b)being an INFJ, or c)existing.

Though I'm all for meeting a real live one to stud... er... talk to. :madgrin:
 
I am not very good at showing interest. I don't usually do anything when I fall in love: I mean this happens all the time and I'm way too cowardly to run around after women sharing my innermost feelings with them. I don't like the hit and miss style approach, because I don't cope too well with rejection. So rather, when I am interested in someone I try to get to know them and their values a bit first. If she seems to be the kind of person I'd want to be with, I'll eventually try to move forward. . . propably. I know it's not a good approach, but I can't really help my cowardice, so I don't stress it too much. :P
 
+1 to the previous post.
 
NOW I REMEMBER YOU ZERO ANGEL! You're the resident INTPc INFJ.

Sorry for the derail.
 
Loralea said:
Hey you INFJ males, I'm unable to answer this as I am an INFJ female. But I have a question for you too.

Regarding getting an INFJ guy to notice a gal:

Do you... like me... look for a person with the same goals and ideals as yourself? See INFJs are so driven by our ideals, that at least for me I'm attracted to a guy who's living those ideals, or similar ideals.

Is that true for you guys too?
Thanks!
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The goals aspect doesn't necessarily matter to me, but having similar ideals do. So my answer is yes.
 
I've never made the first move, but when I'm interested I usually end up looking them in the eye more when I talk to them, pay closer attention to what they say and generally thats about it. I'm kind of afraid of relationships right now so lately when a girl is flirting I close off a little more and make irreverent jokes.
 
gOpHeR said:
I've never made the first move, but when I'm interested I usually end up looking them in the eye more when I talk to them, pay closer attention to what they say and generally thats about it. I'm kind of afraid of relationships right now so lately when a girl is flirting I close off a little more and make irreverent jokes.
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Great insight! I'm the same I will look into their eyes, bright and starry with innocent eyes and perhaps bat my eyelashes haha, listen closely to what they say and it usually puts a smile on my face. xD
 
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I don't think I have met any INFJ people in my life. I am INFJ but not male so I don't know how INFJ males show interest. When I like someone a lot, I usually do not show it unless I know for sure the other person feels the same way. I think that is a major weakness of being an INFJ when it comes to relationships.
 
My mom is an INFJ and I have noticed a trend with her, she attracts men with dodo-fixit radars. aka, there the stereotypical "40 year old guy who lives with their mom" who has about as many social skills or social reading abillity as a wet noodle.

The problem with her is she is so friendly and approachable to people in a one on one situation, and she subconsiously bats her eyelashes at them. I remember the first time I told her my observations, she was like "I do WHAT? No wonder! Oh my goodness" and proceeds to crack up.

In a nutshell, it is damn near impossible, every INFJ is different. I know for me if I like someone, people won't know it until I flat out say it. Or, they become infatuated with me (which largely creeps me out, and they tend to be really socially akward INTP/INTJ's) and think I am obsessed with them as well.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
You'll know I am interested in you, if I start avoiding you.

:m131:
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I tend to do this as well at times... I know when I met the last girl I seriously dated, what I considered flirting, she considered casual conversation. She had no idea I was flirting at all when I first started showing an interest.
 
The only INFJ male I know is my oldest brother. All I can tell you from my experience is that most women he's been romantically involved with have used him as a door mat. His new wife is quite the exception and I love her for that. He's the ideal man, but that isn't appreciated by very many women. He also tends to get a little shy around women he finds attractive, but will send subtle signals just like us INFJ girls.

Oh, and he also loves a juicy booty, if that helps at all. I assume that probably has nothing to do with his personality type.
 
Morpheus said:
I am not very good at showing interest. I don't usually do anything when I fall in love: I mean this happens all the time and I'm way too cowardly to run around after women sharing my innermost feelings with them. I don't like the hit and miss style approach, because I don't cope too well with rejection. So rather, when I am interested in someone I try to get to know them and their values a bit first. If she seems to be the kind of person I'd want to be with, I'll eventually try to move forward. . . propably. I know it's not a good approach, but I can't really help my cowardice, so I don't stress it too much. :P
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I think all of us have that problem. We, as far as I know, all seem to not handle rejection very well. I know that's why the only person I ever made the first move with was my husband.
 
Well I can't speak for every INFJ male, because I'm only one. Keep in mind everything I say will only apply to me, but I'll try to make it as "universal" as possible with my knowledge of INFJs from reading about them.

INFJs usually aren't anything like a stereotypical male in modern society, at least from what I've seen. I'm not one to go "chasing" a girl that I have a crush on. I'm also not one to go up to a "hot" girl and ask her out on a date when I've never seen her before in my life. I'd rather at least know the person first. If you have someone specific in mind, don't be afraid to ask him out. I hate how society makes it seem like the guy has to ask out the girl. To be honest, I'm so shy that I'd prefer being asked out by a girl. It wouldn't be "demeaning" or make me feel "unmanly" because I was asked out by a girl instead of vice versa. I don't care about following stereotypes that much. If you're unsure if an INFJ likes you... well, I'm not really sure how to help. Most of the "signs" for me wouldn't be very noticeable. Like previously mentioned, I'd probably avoid the girl or be extra shy around her, unless we were already pretty close. I'd also probably not flirt as much as other people do because of my shyness, but that might just be me. I guess I'd just try to be around her more if we were already friends. If he is sharing his feelings with you he might like you, or you might just be the perfect friend. I wish I had a friend I could trust with my feelings. Not to lower your hopes, but I personally wouldn't risk losing that just in case the relationship went badly.
 
...and Passion!

Satya said:
I have a list of what attracts me to a person.

1. Personality
2. Intelligence
3. Looks
4. Shared goals and values
5. Ambition
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I agree with Satya on the list above. For me personally, I would add PASSION to the list.
 
Oh, this actually make a lot of sense - thanks :D

I think I have in my life commited almost all of these mistakes whenever near an INFJ. It's sad and regretable.
 
Little Brother said:
I agree with Satya on the list above. For me personally, I would add PASSION to the list.
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Agreed. Passion is an essential quality which individuates one from the grey masses. Though I believe it partially overlaps with ambition. I dated an ISTJ once for a few days, and she was a really boring date, she either lacked passion or simply was too reserved at the time to show it to me despite my gentle probing -- even the sex was bad. I broke up with her shortly after.
 
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