INFJ males....

Enlighten your soul about what? About what life is like when you marry/become involved with someone who isn't on the same path?

I can do that.

I married someone who had the same ideals as me, then he changed. He became controlling and living for himself. It was so strange. I stayed with him because ...I'm stupid. Well, not so stupid anymore. But stupidity is underrated - after all, it kept us together.
:smile:
He changed again. Now he and I have the same goals again. Thank the Lord.

When we didn't have the same goals everything pulled us apart. He disagreed with my deepest reasons for living. It was horrible. Much better now.

Does that help?
 
It was sort of vague... but I do understand. I wouldn't marry someone with opposing ideals, things I stood firmly for, but then again if someone were that fundamentaly different from myself, I probably wouldn't marry her to begin with.
 
Loralea said:
Hey you INFJ males, I'm unable to answer this as I am an INFJ female. But I have a question for you too.

Regarding getting an INFJ guy to notice a gal:

Do you... like me... look for a person with the same goals and ideals as yourself? See INFJs are so driven by our ideals, that at least for me I'm attracted to a guy who's living those ideals, or similar ideals.

Is that true for you guys too?
Thanks!
Click to expand...

I wouldn't turn away someone that had the same ideologies as me, but I'm more interested in someone who can bring something new to the table. I hang out with myself enough; I want to be around someone different.

With that said, as an INFJ, I think you're very unlikely to find someone with identical ideals. We're all quite different, despite having the "same" personality type.

One of my friends is an INFJ (female) and I wouldn't think of dating her, although I care about her a lot.

I met another INF(J/P) a few months ago, and I thought we were hitting it off. Turns out I was the spark to her gasoline. I didn't know this before meeting her, but apparently I'm some sort of conceited bigot. :flame:

It's a rather long story, but essentially she said she didn't want to be my friend anymore (awkwardddd). I'm not going to lose sleep over some psychopathic bitch, so I didn't sweat it.

Ask him to do one-on-one stuff with you, like a walk or coffee date. You might have to initiate something, though, because girls have done this with me and I've been clueless before.
 
The INFJ I know is really driven with his ideals in life. Because of that, he is also expecting everybody to be driven with their own ideals. I am very much amused by it.

G.Kai, before I forget, how will he respond if he is interested. I could see something in his eyes, but I am afraid I am just misinterpreting it.

Haha, I am a stupid INTJ.
 
There is another thing which I do not understand with an INFJ male. I am not certain whether this is a unique characteristic, but still this might also be another of the INFJ trait or reaction.

The INFJ male I know is a very sensitive one. Being an INTJ, I am always puzzled by his outburst of emotions. I am very much overwhelmed and I do not understand the rationale behind the said reaction. Nonetheless, I still do my best to understand him. He keeps on explaining himself and his sensitivity to me, and I simply can not comprehend why. What astonishes me most is the fact that he is asking me for an advice on how to deal with those kinds of matters where in fact both of us are aware that I am not likely to use my emotions for those stuffs. Reason above all.

There are even times when I think he is trying to manipulate me emotionally, trying to bring out a certain kind of emotion (irritation or anger) that he is feeling.
 
If he is asking you for advice then he must respect the way you view things. Just because INFJs are emotionally focused doesn't mean they can't value or respect another way of looking at something.

Chances are though, if he is really opening up to you emotionally he most likely views you as something more than just a friend. Tough to say if he is interested in a relationship though, but if you use your rational logical side to talk to him about things openly and honestly he should respond well, I think.

I think solid logic is like kryptonite for INFJs. They'll either stay the hell away from it or succumb to its power.
 
Last edited:
As an INFJ I personally love to ask the people I really care about how I should deal with a situation. I find it very important because I need logic sometimes. Its usually only people that really matter to me though.

The thing about feeling manipulated is something I bring onto people too. I try to get people to see it from my point of view yet no one can seem to.
 
for me if i am interested in someone and unsure of their feeling i tend to act childish. I play stupid games that usually end up making me look like a fool. If I know the lady I'm interested in also has similar feelings towards me I can calm down. I can let things happen on their own. I can act koi and not put too much pressure on the situation. because i know that my true self is much more desired then any face i can put on.
 
Loralea said:
Nah, you don't really.
:smile:
I know for myself that I could never be happy with someone that wasn't walking down the same path -- the same reason for existence -- that I have.
:smile:
Click to expand...

I realized this at first, forgot about it for a number of years, and have recently remembered it again. :)

And on the topic of asking others for advice on how to deal with something - me personally, I realize that emotions cloud my view from time to time, and that I may very well be overreacting. So I try and get an outside opinion from someone I really trust as a form of checks and balances.
 
I try to make lots of eye contact with a gal I am interested in, which does not go so well for me in most occasions, but its all good. Gals tend to get nervous around me, i had a nice encounter earlier today though, where a good looking cashier gal was making more contact with my hand then there should ever be when money is being exchanged for goods. She even made contact with my hand when she took the goods out of my hands instead of me placing them on the counter, that is the first time that has ever happened to when i was buying something. I had two bottles of water btw. heheh i was nervous, there was no playing it cool for me :m080:


Still not sure what to make of this, maybe she was just a really friendly cashier, still seemed like an odd thing.
 
I think she was sending you a message spuddy! Are you interested?
 
DO IT SPUD!!!

Slight tangent: What type works well for the INTP male?
 
I think the preferred type on an INTP forum poll (don't know which forum it was, my boyfriend told me) was INFJ. :m171:
ENFJ or ENTP could be interesting too, in very different ways.
 
Working with a lot of them, I find that INTP's are both fascinated and afraid of us female fj's. Providing you have a thick skin it's almost fun.
 
INFJ's huh? Perhaps I should head over to the flirt thread.

Ladies... walk this way... :m159:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top