INFJ Males

WellNoWonder said:
So ..umm.. manliness, or heterosexuality, is more about what the other man perceives?

That does not sound very "heterosexual" like to me. Not saying you all use other men's perceptions to perceive yourself.. eh f*ck...

I'm just saying...um..does a woman's perception ever fall into this manliness quotient thingy? I am utterly inarticulate right now...maybe cuz it's men all up in this thread...

:bolt:
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Well, being that all INFJs males would, by definition, not be female. It would seem nonsensical to ask us what a female's perception is.

If by "heterosexual" you mean shunning of any form of intimacy or relationship with the same sex, you seriously have the strangest view on sexuality I've ever encountered. I don't see a bit of homosexuality in relating one's experience and understanding of their own sex to a fellow member of the gender.

That being said, I'm sure the female perspective is welcome in this thread. Just don't expect a male to give it, being that in no way does masculinity imbue a psychic understanding of the other sex as women so often seem to think we have.
 
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I am the epitome of masculinity. It doesn't get any more manly than this, right here.
 
Dragon said:
I am the epitome of masculinity. It doesn't get any more manly than this, right here.
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Divulge thy secrets oh prophet of the phallus.
 
I'm pretty dorky and I dont come off as aggressive when I talk to people in person, but I have never had a problem with putting my masculinity across. I was an athlete most of my life so I was always pretty strong and I grew up with brothers and a very alpha male father and alpha female mother... So being assertive comes natural to me if I feel the need to speak. I dont like to fight, but I have no problem knocking somebody out if I perceive a real threat from them. I guess thats a bi product of my rough and tumble type friends I grew up with.
 
yeah infj men seem to be pretty rare, i doubt i've met any in real life, though I have met INFP's, and from all accounts they seem to be similar. i like infp guys :) they are so saccharin sweet; the only thing that bothers me about them is their lack of assertiveness. they tend to be passive aggressive, a quality that can make relationships difficult.
 
I really hate those strong themes of what it means to "be a man" in society. We shouldn't have to prove ourselves. It also doesn't help female/ male equality.

That being said, I have always been drawn to that romanitc masculine type feel in Walt Whitman, along with Ginsberg, and Kerouac
 
I would say to be a "real man", you have to be a decent person, who's loving towards/protective of their family and friends, willing to stand up for yourself, open-minded/open-hearted, and have good intentions. Of course, I also think this is what makes a good woman, and thus pretty much my standards for making a good person.

I've never really been into the 'guy' stuff. I played some sports, but I wasn't ever very good. I however, never gave up, and always won some award/trophy for determination (and now they just collect dust). I've never been into cars but I know the basics, like how to change a tire, jump a car, and what not. I know a little bit more about boats because I spent my summers growing up on a lake. I've never been in a fight nor have I had to be physically aggressive. I hope I never have to, but I also have no qualms about being physically assertive if the situation called for it (not that I'm a big guy by any means. I'm just tall).

I also never had problems in high school/middle school with bullies. They always left me alone, and I never had rumors about being gay or anything like that. More girls liked me than I knew about, but I also didn't really date in high school.

I guess I really don't care about being perceived as manly or too emotional, I just do my thing and so far it's worked out for me (I guess being the singer/guitarist in a band might have helped form my 'bad-boy' image in high school).
 
Dragon said:
You must posses three qualities:

1. Don't give a fuck.

2. You don't know me!

3. Don't be a bitch.
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Dragon truly is a man's man. :D
 
Von Hase, I thought that there were fewer INTJ females than INFJ males?

Hotkebab said:
:m068:

Well, ......

Too bad for me.
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Why is that too bad for you? You looking for some INFJ lovin'? :m054:

Relevant stuff:

Male INFJs have a more problematic situation because the qualities naturally preferred by INFJs are not those traditionally considered to be "male." To counter the image of being weak, male INFJs can become stubborn, often to a degree disproportionate tot he situation at hand. They are capable of taking a seemingly small issue and making it seem as if the entire world--or at least their masculinity--were riding on the outcome. The behavior unfortunately belies the fact that both male and female INFJs are reservoirs of quiet, intellectual introspective imagination who can inspire insight and growth in men and women alike. INFJs are often great thinkers whose pondering of the immense can bring great ideas to the forefront. Typically, they seek to spread their ideas in a quiet, deliberate way--more typically by the pen than by the sword.
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I made a thread not too long ago about people challenging my masculinity in general, but it was really in response to a party I went to where I happened to be the only male. One of the girls there was a real bitch to me and made fun of my lack of masculinity in a very condemnatory way, and some of the other girls kinda went along with her. This girl is extremely attractive and she is good friends with a girl that I asked out (but got friend zoned by, and now we really are friends). All that stuff put together really can send me over the edge.... in a very bad and potentially terrifying way.

I wouldn't care so much, but what disturbs me about it is that I am and have been looking for very long time for a girlfriend, and it seems like I'm getting rejected by the stupid dating-liking-flirting system because of who I am.
 
Wyst said:
Here's a good example of what my idea of masculinity is:

return-of-the-king-viggo-mortensen-aragorn-02.jpg
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:) Quiet, noble, wise...
I would be Arwen for him anytime:)

To all INFJ males here - INFJ female perspective. There is two pespectives on masculinity, primitive one and non - primitive. Primitive is childish/teenager - you are man if you are harsh, like cars and sports and have more testosteron than brains. Non - primitive is perspective of any clever human being. You are masculine if you are trying to be good human in general, noble and wise, as Aragorn:) It's essence. Everything else is just apperance.
 
mf said:
I would say to be a "real man", you have to be a decent person, who's loving towards/protective of their family and friends, willing to stand up for yourself, open-minded/open-hearted, and have good intentions. Of course, I also think this is what makes a good woman, and thus pretty much my standards for making a good person.

I've never really been into the 'guy' stuff. I played some sports, but I wasn't ever very good. I however, never gave up, and always won some award/trophy for determination (and now they just collect dust). I've never been into cars but I know the basics, like how to change a tire, jump a car, and what not. I know a little bit more about boats because I spent my summers growing up on a lake. I've never been in a fight nor have I had to be physically aggressive. I hope I never have to, but I also have no qualms about being physically assertive if the situation called for it (not that I'm a big guy by any means. I'm just tall).

I also never had problems in high school/middle school with bullies. They always left me alone, and I never had rumors about being gay or anything like that. More girls liked me than I knew about, but I also didn't really date in high school.

I guess I really don't care about being perceived as manly or too emotional, I just do my thing and so far it's worked out for me (I guess being the singer/guitarist in a band might have helped form my 'bad-boy' image in high school).
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I follow and relate to most of what you have just posted here. Pretty similar background, but my musical ability was in the background. My brothers on the other hand...... We all have our talents. I'm convinced the whole "he's gay" thing has to do with being "I", small, and neat. Seinfeld had it pegged! Musicians are chic magnets. That pretty much dispels any gay rumors. I didn't have too many problems with bullies either.
 
I like how this thread has been clarifying the difference between "guy things" and masculinity.
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Dragon said:
I made a thread not too long ago about people challenging my masculinity in general, but it was really in response to a party I went to where I happened to be the only male. One of the girls there was a real bitch to me and made fun of my lack of masculinity in a very condemnatory way, and some of the other girls kinda went along with her. This girl is extremely attractive and she is good friends with a girl that I asked out (but got friend zoned by, and now we really are friends). All that stuff put together really can send me over the edge.... in a very bad and potentially terrifying way.

I wouldn't care so much, but what disturbs me about it is that I am and have been looking for very long time for a girlfriend, and it seems like I'm getting rejected by the stupid dating-liking-flirting system because of who I am.
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This is where "Don't give a fuck" comes into play. My rule of thumb is that when a girl starts calling my masculinity into question (I'm pretty skinny), I get to make fun of their intelligence. It's fair game if they started it.

Sure, it's not nice and it probably won't make you any friends (although, you'd be surprised), but I don't give a fuck. ;)
 
mooseman said:
I like how this thread has been clarifying the difference between "guy things" and masculinity.
Posted via Mobile Device
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The real secret is that every guy does this, even the ones that love and value the "guy things." I think it's just human to begrudge the frameworks set upon us.
 
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