INFJ Males

gloomy-optimist said:
I don't perceive masculinity as liking cars or sports. Half of it is the protector/provider instinct, y'know? And I think INFJs can be really strong there, especially the males.

Although I have to say, sometimes even I feel more masculine than some of the male INFJs :B
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+1

And yeah, sometimes I feel the same way too. :/
 
Dragon said:
Von Hase, I thought that there were fewer INTJ females than INFJ males?
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The jury is out on that, but there is no doubt the two gender/types are the rarest. INFJs are slightly more rare than INTJs, and both seem to have a 2:1 gender ratio. There's really no way to tell, and the statistics are so close I doubt there ever will be.

I've only ever known three INTJ females, and they were all the most unconventional females I've ever known. If we INFJ males are as atypical as INTJ females are, I'm starting to see why people can't believe we really are what we are. Both of these types strongly defy gender archetype - and not in a way that embraces the opposite gender, but in a way that transcends gender all together.
 
Masculine heros fictional

one way of defining masculinity is amplifying heroic characteristics in film

OK the Duke played several that pop into mind, but my fav would be his role in the Searchers. He is cunning, laconic, ruthless and ultimately moral.

Gabriel Byrne's role in Millers Crossing is another heroically masculine role, cunning, fearless, brainy, passionate and compassionate.
 
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Von Hase said:
The jury is out on that, but there is no doubt the two gender/types are the rarest. INFJs are slightly more rare than INTJs, and both seem to have a 2:1 gender ratio. There's really no way to tell, and the statistics are so close I doubt there ever will be.

I've only ever known three INTJ females, and they were all the most unconventional females I've ever known. If we INFJ males are as atypical as INTJ females are, I'm starting to see why people can't believe we really are what we are. Both of these types strongly defy gender archetype - and not in a way that embraces the opposite gender, but in a way that transcends gender all together.
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So well put VH. I follow you and heartily agree!
 
I have to say that I am an INFX woman who was abused by someone who was really messed up. I feel sorry for him now and it took me ten years to develop sympathy and compassion for him. He was 6 feet tall and outweighed me by alot when I was growing up. He terrified me.

Meeting you men on the forum gives me hope and faith in men again. My mother, last night actually, said that se does not trust men. I can say that this used to be true for me. With my experiences here with you men, and with the men that practice Buddhism where I live gives me hope and faith in men again.

I thank you all for being so amazing!
 
Hey sookie - I'm so sorry for how you were treated in your past. That's fantastic that you've come so far in your ability to have compassion on him.

sookie said:
My mother, last night actually, said that se does not trust men. I can say that this used to be true for me.
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I think this is a direct result that men don't know what it means to be a man anymore. If you compare today's 'man' to what men were like around the WWI era... we as men have fallen miserably short of their precedent.
 
Hotkebab said:
I am coming to that age where one looks for a potential partner
to share their life with.
I haven't meet any INFJ males where I live, maybe because they are too scared of me. :m068:
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Yeah, I have never met another INFJ in person to my knowledge. I I definitely haven't become friends with any. I think there might be some female INFJs in some of my classes from last term, but I haven't spotted any potential male INFJs.

They are out there though. I don't think the INFJ males are scared of you. Just be nice and hopefully the INTJ-ENTP magnetism will bring you two together.
 
.....and

Zaposyleter said:
one way of defining masculinity is amplifying heroic characteristics in film

OK the Duke played several that pop into mind, but my fav would be his role in the Searchers. He is cunning, laconic, ruthless and ultimately moral.

Gabriel Byrne's role in Millers Crossing is another heroically masculine role, cunning, fearless, brainy, passionate and compassionate.
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Byrne's character is shares single mindedness with the Wayne character. He also held himself to a rigorous moral code

I find these elements deeply masculine
 
Dragon said:
Yeah, I have never met another INFJ in person to my knowledge. I I definitely haven't become friends with any. I think there might be some female INFJs in some of my classes from last term, but I haven't spotted any potential male INFJs.

They are out there though. I don't think the INFJ males are scared of you. Just be nice and hopefully the INTJ-ENTP magnetism will bring you two together.
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Yup I agree, is not that they are scared of you, but we are rare from what I have experienced I have not met another single INFJ male, add that to the fact that we are usually hidden, but I would not give up hope..just give it time...
 
I have three INFJ males buried in my back yard. I collect them. :D
 
I'm buried in some guy's back yard. I've made a few nice friends down here!



I'm really sorry to hear about what happened to you, sookie. There are some people out there, even amongst assholes, who are bad enough that I can understand why trusting of guys would be a difficult sense to regain. I'm glad that you've been able to find reason to believe that there are still good guys out there! I hope things continue to go well for you compared to the troubles from before.
 
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sookie said:
I have to say that I am an INFX woman who was abused by someone who was really messed up. I feel sorry for him now and it took me ten years to develop sympathy and compassion for him. He was 6 feet tall and outweighed me by alot when I was growing up. He terrified me.

Meeting you men on the forum gives me hope and faith in men again. My mother, last night actually, said that se does not trust men. I can say that this used to be true for me. With my experiences here with you men, and with the men that practice Buddhism where I live gives me hope and faith in men again.

I thank you all for being so amazing!
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Thank you Sookie. I am sorry for your past dealings with messed up men. There are always good people out there--men, women, people in every country. It may not always seem like it when we are experiencing bad times. I'm glad you have renewed faith in men, and so glad I could be part of that!
 
Real masculinity has nothing to do with how you look or what kind of activities do you pursue. But it has everything to do with how you feel inside about it. Very hard to describe and can only be observed when in contact with the opposite gender.

It's in those little moments when you allow the woman to take comfort in you, when you provide support for her and take pride in that. It's the attitude of leadership and confidence. I believe that a large part of it is hardwired because one does not think about it unless it gets repressed in some way.

Dragon said:
You must posses three qualities:
1. Don't give a fuck.
2. You don't know me!
3. Don't be a bitch.
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Very good. It's a step forward from being "Mr Nice Guy" but you still need a lot more than simple arrogance to attract a girl worthy of your attention.

Questingpoet said:
And yes, I believe that most creative endeavors (not all mind you) are associated with women and gay men. They involve emotion and the ability to express it (you don't think the majority of the "masculine" world looks a little funny at guys that write poetry?). These are both things associated more with the feminine. I am NOT saying I agree with that, quite the opposite. Let's face it, anything involving emotion is always more associated with the feminine.
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Creativity flows from emotion and the only advantage that women and gay men can have is that they are more in tune with their emotions. Most straight guys are afraid to embrace it or consider it to be a woman's prerogative - that's just plain wrong! I consider myself quite emotional when compared to social standards and that does not hurt my masculinity at all - on contrary I have noticed that it helps to attract and satisfy women.

Von Hase said:
Not only are INFJ males the rarest type, but it is my experience that a lot of us a gay, possibly a majority. Many of us have a strong feminine side, whether straight, gay, or otherwise.
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There are about 300 registered INFJ males on this forum and according to general statistics 10 of them should be gay. Considering our special circumstances this number could be up to 30. But I would be really surprised if there were more.
 
Tamagochi said:
Real masculinity has nothing to do with how you look or what kind of activities do you pursue. But it has everything to do with how you feel inside about it. Very hard to describe and can only be observed when in contact with the opposite gender.

It's in those little moments when you allow the woman to take comfort in you, when you provide support for her and take pride in that. It's the attitude of leadership and confidence. I believe that a large part of it is hardwired because one does not think about it unless it gets repressed in some way.



Very good. It's a step forward from being "Mr Nice Guy" but you still need a lot more than simple arrogance to attract a girl worthy of your attention.



Creativity flows from emotion and the only advantage that women and gay men can have is that they are more in tune with their emotions. Most straight guys are afraid to embrace it or consider it to be a woman's prerogative - that's just plain wrong! I consider myself quite emotional when compared to social standards and that does not hurt my masculinity at all - on contrary I have noticed that it helps to attract and satisfy women.



There are about 300 registered INFJ males on this forum and according to general statistics 10 of them should be gay. Considering our special circumstances this number could be up to 30. But I would be really surprised if there were more.
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http://forum.infjs.com/showthread.php?t=4331&highlight=sexual+orientation

there was a poll in which a few users participated, I'm guesing those who are more active, however this does not take into account the amount of female with bisexual/homosexual orientation compared to the males.
 
Seriously seconding the male INFJ's tend to be assumed to be gay thing. Its really, spectacularly annoying (or occasionally amusingly awkward) at times.
 
JohnDoe said:
Seriously seconding the male INFJ's tend to be assumed to be gay thing. Its really, spectacularly annoying (or occasionally amusingly awkward) at times.
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I really don't mind though, not because I'm gay but because I'm sure of who I am inside, and every INFJ confident of their sexality should not mind because they know who they are, we don't give in to society which is a good thing, and if we are rejected because of this misunderstanding then A. they don't have no idea of who you are and B. if you tell the person your straight but they still question then they are probobly not wort associating with because they are judgmental.
 
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Raccoon Love said:
I really don't mind though, not because I'm gay but because I'm sure of who I am inside, and every INFJ confident of their sexality should not mind because they know who they are, we don't give in to society which is a good thing, and if we are rejected because of this misunderstanding then A. they don't have no idea of who you are and B. if you tell the person your straight but they still question then they are probobly not worthed associating with because they are judgmental.
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Opportunities missed are still opportunities missed regardless of the reasons.
 
You've pretty well summed up my postion here RL. I could really care less if people think I'm gay. What insults me is the ignorance displayed in coming to this conclusion. I really hate lazy, prejudice minds!
 
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