INFJs and borderline personality disorder

I have Borderline Personality Disorder and yes, I’m more or less like Jenny in Forrest Gump, not like Girl Interrupted. I had a constantly traumatic childhood though I don’t remember a LOT of it. It’s hell for me as an INFJ and I’ve come to be aware that it’s also hell for those around me. This awareness in a lot of ways makes me eager for my death but I’m not actively suicidal like I used to be. At about age 30 is when that shit stopped, thank god. I have substance abuse problems and a kid. I just hope my crazy state of mind doesn’t jack up my daughter too much. For those of you who also struggle with this, I wish you the best. I know it’s tough especially when you’re younger.

Phosphatidylserine is the only thing that’s helped me but it’s expensive as hell if you’d like to try something natural to help you with it
 
lostinthisworld said:
I have Borderline Personality Disorder and yes, I’m more or less like Jenny in Forrest Gump, not like Girl Interrupted. I had a constantly traumatic childhood though I don’t remember a LOT of it. It’s hell for me as an INFJ and I’ve come to be aware that it’s also hell for those around me. This awareness in a lot of ways makes me eager for my death but I’m not actively suicidal like I used to be. At about age 30 is when that shit stopped, thank god. I have substance abuse problems and a kid. I just hope my crazy state of mind doesn’t jack up my daughter too much. For those of you who also struggle with this, I wish you the best. I know it’s tough especially when you’re younger.

Phosphatidylserine is the only thing that’s helped me but it’s expensive as hell if you’d like to try something natural to help you with it
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1. YOU know you have an issue (critically important).

2. YOU know it is affecting your child.

3. You know it is affecting others around you.

4. You know you were abused in childhood.

These are certainly GREAT steps.

This is going to sound awfully simplistic however, it will work. Hopefully you also know you are not going to wake up one morning and it will all be gone, nor can YOU fix it all by yourself over night.

There is a reason one day at a time came to be fashionable. If it is one minute or one 15 minute segment at a time then so be it. The longest journey is accomplished by taking the first step.
Yes, these are semi-tired sayings however, tired or not, they are true.

Pick one thing each morning (it can be the same for as long as it needs to be) and try to stay conscious of being aware of it (keep it simple).

Try and understand the fear that is driving this and slowly VERY slowly get conscious of it. You may be able to change it or the universe may remove it for you. Yes, it is a horror show, but it is a manageable horror show if you continue to put one foot in front of the other (as simple minded as that may appear).

Peace be with you!

Larry
 
larry806q said:
1. YOU know you have an issue (critically important).

2. YOU know it is affecting your child.

3. You know it is affecting others around you.

4. You know you were abused in childhood.

These are certainly GREAT steps.

This is going to sound awfully simplistic however, it will work. Hopefully you also know you are not going to wake up one morning and it will all be gone, nor can YOU fix it all by yourself over night.

There is a reason one day at a time came to be fashionable. If it is one minute or one 15 minute segment at a time then so be it. The longest journey is accomplished by taking the first step.
Yes, these are semi-tired sayings however, tired or not, they are true.

Pick one thing each morning (it can be the same for as long as it needs to be) and try to stay conscious of being aware of it (keep it simple).

Try and understand the fear that is driving this and slowly VERY slowly get conscious of it. You may be able to change it or the universe may remove it for you. Yes, it is a horror show, but it is a manageable horror show if you continue to put one foot in front of the other (as simple minded as that may appear).

Peace be with you!

Larry
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Thank you so much Larry. Yeah I guess it simply boils down to, for me, that it’s much better to look forward than ruminate about the past. Simple advice is always the best btw, IMO =)
 
Speaking of someone who has worked with folks for the BPD for many years my advice to all who have this disorder is to find yourself a therapist that specializes in it.
I'll tell you ahead of time you probably will not like them very much at first because one of the things that they will do is be very matter of fact and hold you very accountable.
This is a difficult condition to treat and it does require people who specialize in it for the best outcomes
 
Nat said:
Is there a link between INFJ traits and BPD?

Anyone know?
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Unfortunately there is a link in some cases.
For example, a living one: a girl that lived in a nice family. Everything seemed right. But it wasn't, she was invalidated from childhood. Something would be called childhood emotional neglect. And for an Infj care is everything.
She grew up with it and accompanied by other cases such as depression and anxiety. She managed to hide it most of her school years. And with it she seemed "cold" for some. While she was friendly and welcoming to everyone.

Others didn't understand her, calling her names and stuffs. Also mostly going to her for academic help only.

And from her childhood and early teens, she had various symptoms and traits of BPD. Mostly fear of abandonment, self-harm, critical and unstable self-image and chronic feelings of emptiness.

And relating to a previous article here, she has a strong attachment to a blanket and other things since her childhood.
So yeah I believe there's a link between INFJ traits and BPD.
 
j e s s i e said:
I would be inclined to say that the more emotional and sensitive types would have a higher likelihood of developing BPD. I am an INFP diagnosed with it alongside recurrent major depression and generalized anxiety, and as [MENTION=2083]Ethereal[/MENTION] has touched upon, hell does not even begin to describe it.

My emotions and moods are extremely unstable in that the slightest ill word or criticism, perceived rejection (so slight as someone glancing away from me in conversation) send me spiraling into either rage or deep depression. I need constant reassurance in friendships because I constantly question whether or not the people in my life care about me, and if I don't get that reassurance, I end up convincing myself they never cared about me, therefore I don't care about them, and end up cutting people completely out of my life because they so much as didn't invite me somewhere. I am an introvert by nature, but almost every human interaction nowadays becomes upsetting in some way due to my B&W thinking and distorted thought process, so I isolate myself further.

I am constantly uncertain about who I am as a person, as it seems to change every day. I feel like I'm missing that "core" of my being and I have no consistent personality traits other than being emotional and sensitive. I'm extremely self-destructive and have been cutting and overdosing since I was 14. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least passively suicidal. Currently I'm struggling with an eating disorder that has had a tremendous impact on my life and family.

Medication does nothing to curb the depression or borderline psychotic thought processes, but I take lorazepam to quiet me down. Therapy proves difficult because of the lack of motivation, but I'm starting a DBT group in a week.

Looking back on my childhood especially, I was always a sensitive kid that needed some extra coddling. But I grew up in an extremely emotionally invalidating environment that I think in part led to disorder.



This article is so interesting to me, haha, especially this part. I thought I was weird for still needing my ratty old baby blanket to sleep, but now I know why! :tongue1: I'm really soothed by scents, soft things, stuffed animals and physical touches. I wonder if it's somehow related?
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It is related,
 
GracieRuth said:
Oh I absolutely agree. I have a male friend who, while I'm not a professional, I think is a classic case. He goes through relationships like changing clothes -- I'm the only long term friend he has. But I have to have extraordinarily clear boundaries, or he will overwhelm me. I think the key to remaining friends is simply knowing he will never change, so I don't try to fix him. I just try to be there for him to the extent that I can. I think it's very sad how much pain his life has, even if much of it is his own doing.
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Your friend is so lucky to have you. Just be there for him and support him. He'll try to be better for you because you're always there for him.
From someone that has the same issue. Thank you.
 
I have to wonder if this is part of the package so to speak as it is bit of a bitter pill and another disadvantage in current society. Learning to accept it isn't easy either but part of personal growth.
 
I've read some studies that correlated specific personality types as more likely to get severe PTSD from combat than others. They speculated that it had to do with personality traits that might have made them less likely to get help or more likely to deal with things in a way that worsened the condition. I do think that personality traits correlate with certain personality types and it can be extremely confusing determining what is a personality trait and what is learned behavior from trauma. I believe certain personality traits or tendencies are genetically based but a lot of our personality is dependent on our thoughts and the way we choose to behave.

If there is a correlation between INFJ and borderline, it would be because the personality traits match. A mental illness or trauma is not a personality, so sometimes I feel like identifying your feelings and behavior as a permanent identity called "personality type" can prevent growth. People who might be suffering from trauma will say "that is just who I am" rather than digging into why they act the way they act and if it's getting them what they want in life, and if not, learning skills and new behaviors to get a different outcome.
 
Pridian said:
I think it is also very relevant that a lot of women and girls with Asperger's/Autism Spectrum Disorder are often first misdiagnosed with BPD.
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Yes, it is relevant and a common misdiagnosis. BPD and ASD share some traits, but not others.

ASD presents differently for many girls and women (and a lower population of men) and until recently, wasn't diagnosed properly... if at all.
 
I've seen a few people in this thread classify female movie characters as BPD but I didn't see any male. Granted, I didn't read the entire thread.

When I think about male movie characters that present as BPD, I think of Bradley Cooper as Jackson Maine in A Star is Born.

I've heard that the diagnosis of BPD in men is very likely under-diagnosed. This wouldn't surprise me given that the expectation for men to be strong and stoic would likely prevent men from communicating the traits to health care professionals or most anyone. My gut feeling tells me that this is on the rise as a direct correlation to the strengthening of female personalities since the 60s.
 
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